Homeless but Hopeful

"Amazing!"

Various gasps of admiration bring me back to my senses.

[Why are you guys making a ruckus now?]

"That's amazing, teacher!"

"Where did the house go?!"

Ah, yep. It is now gone. The plot of land completely empty. I look at it baffled. This is impressing even for me the one that made it happen. Oh my god.

I've just had the best idea ever. There used to be such a thing as prank shows on earth. One day I need to ask a bystander to watch my house for me. Just a couple of minutes while I go grab something. Then I would leave and recall the house. I could come back and fake being angry.

Only issue is recording people's reactions. There goes my mind wandering again.

"Teacher! Bring it back!"

"Then hide it again!"

[Haha, sure!]

I concentrate and…. Oh fuck. This is bad. How do I access my sea of consciousness?! I managed earlier by mistake… Now how do I go back in? Ah fuck. So much for me being proud of myself. I am now homeless. Can cry?

I have many shoulders to cry on right now.

I can picture myself lying on the turtle's shell. This shoulder is too hard!

Then the Bear's one. This shoulder is too soft!

I'd finish with the tiger. Now, this shoulder is just perfect!

But instead of celebrating I'd just cry.

Cry like a man that just lived a tragedy.

Cry like a man that has been cutting onions.

Cry like a man that became homeless suddenly.

What now? Should I ask to crash at my disciple's place? I would probably die from a magical trap. There is my new disciple, but it would be even worse. I can't picture myself asking him to share his shell with me. That sounds both gay and like bestiality. Not a great combo in my opinion.

"Teacher?"

[I will leave it in my sea of consciousness to strengthen it for a while.]

Oh fuck. I panicked. There is no way this is believable. This is a living plant-based home, not a battery.

"Ah, makes sense! I understand, teacher! Awesome!"

Then again believable is overrated.

"Oh, this is neat! The more time passes the more surprised I get!"

"Partner! How about you put me in your sea of consciousness too so that I can become stronger!"

This is not how this works. This is not how any of this works! At least, I think. This whole thing is super confusing.

Could you imagine if one could enhance weapons just by leaving them into one's sea of consciousness? I would get a couple more sentient hammers. Chuck all of them inside there neatly. You know absolutely fill my room with it.

Even under the bed. I'd have to move all the Douj... Then I'd wait for a while. Once they are all nicely upgraded… I would use my ultimate attack. Gate of Babylonorsomething!

Then proceed with a follow-up. Unlimited Hammer works! Then death itself would rain upon my enemies.

No matter what, they would be screwed. They would do their hardest to defend. Bringing out all their life-saving treasures. But no matter what they would be doomed. Beaten by the sheer numbers.

But the worst would be yet to be seen. As they would already be succumbing to their wounds… They would hear the lengthiest character introduction of all time.

X1000 times.

Imagine the cacophony of a thousand sentient hammers all monologuing. Clamoring about how they will become the best blacksmith in existence! Probably start bickering right afterward. After all, they would all have the exact same goal. All trying to become number one.

I can imagine the regret of my enemies. Being defeated by such fools. Meanwhile, I would just be in the back, cackling. Laughing at their misfortune. Later on, people would avoid me like the plague.

No matter what they wouldn't anger me at any cost. For dying in any manner would be preferable to offending me. What? Want to fight? Can you afford to lose? Do you seriously want to go in such a way? Crushed, then taunted? Sure! I don't mind!

I can also imagine the impact on the crafting world. Legends say that from that day onward not a single soul… Yes, not a single one... Dared to claim to be the number one blacksmith.

I would have this huge army. At my beck and call. Summonable any time. All these wannabe blacksmiths. The irony would be that none would be able to forge. At least except if a miracle happens.

Cause so far, our success rate is an impressive 0%. Honestly, it feels impressive to me. In a way. Kinda. Ah, one can dream. It would be impossible to ambush me also. I would summon a rain of hammer on my enemies.

Then maybe I could bring this up a notch. Find myself stuff like my house. Things that are small inside my sea of consciousness. Yet end up huge in the real world. I could summon all of it. Crush my enemies under the weight directly. Annihilate kingdoms in such a way.

It would be hilarious. Well, not for my enemies. Yep, the only issue is that all of this is impossible. Enchanting so many hammers. Finding other treasures. Even accessing my sea of consciousness.

So, what do I do now? Well, first I deny the hammer's request. Yes, he's been pleading this whole time. Done. He's disappointed but whatever. Ain't my problem.

Now, what is the next step in my world domination plan? Joke, I don't have such grand ideas. At least for now… Is this foreshadowing? Probably not… Or is it? Probably not… But who knows for sure?

I need some more mental training for sure. To bring this house of mine out whenever. Chances are I'll succeed by mistake sometime soon. I mean that's how I succeeded the first time. Just gotta be attentive and try to figure it out slowly.

I also need to get a sword. Not sure I want to try the dwarf's test again. I am done with that bullshit for now! This only leaves to keep exploring the forest.

Hey, at least it's pretty entertaining in its own way!