Fish Puns!!!
"Chill crout man and let's talk about this!" I try to reason with the fish whisperer while barley I roll out of the way of stab which drills into the reinforced ground making me rethink my decision to accept this quest for the bajillionth time.
"No, let's not."
"Wait you can talk!?"
"..."
"Don't ignore me you freshwater bitch!"
Ignoring me, removing his trident from the ground, and getting up in my personal space in a low stance he throws out a flurry of strikes all within milliseconds of each other that I try and partly fail to weave through.
[-10 HP]
[-15 HP]
[-5 HP]
Cuts start appearing on my body as the stabby things graze my body ripping my shirt, pants, and soaking them with blood. My fighting experience amounts to what a child knows about quantum physics, I can try my damndest but there is no way in hell that I have a clue as to what I'm doing.
"You're lucky I can't kick your ass right now you fish-lipped bastard!"
Seems like he took that insult to heart as he started to speed up to the point where it started getting much harder to weave through his attacks.
[-5 HP]
"Let minnow what you think about this one!
[-10 HP]
"What's your problem marlin?!"
[-30 HP]
"Oh, cmon! Trout was golden!"
As I'm backed into a corner the grazing starts getting more violent and the barbs on his trident start doing major damage.
[-115 HP]
"Arrrggh Shit!" When I tried to dodge again he had managed to follow me to the letter and one of the barbs managed to dig deep enough to slash my liver, or whatever was in that general area.
Coddammit!
This is bad, he's too fast and too strong so there's no way I can win. And seeing as I'm going to die here if I don't do something I opt to stand still.
Probably a dumb idea.
But guess what!
When I stood still his eyes widened slightly and he actually fucking whiffed his attack! Taking this optimal opportunity to find a way to not die I clench my fist and plant it as deeply as I could into his gut making him bend over slightly in pain.
[Focus Strike! 1431 DMG!]
*Vrrrrrmmmmmm*
Powering up my lightsaber as he takes a step back I get to a standing position and jump up high toward him blade raised above my head as gets back into stance and tirls it around masterfully ending the performance with the 3 stabby things pointed at me still mid-air.
But guess what part 2!
"SLASH!" I kick that fish fucker in the face with my glowing blue foot right when he was about to stab me.
Surprisingly slash can be used on any part of my body.
Foot to face Aquaman gets sent flying backward across the arena crashing into the wall on the other side with a cloud of dust and smoke being picked up as he impacts the wall.
[5620 DMG!]
"Holy shit!" I exclaim as I land on the ground.
How in the hell did I do that much damage?! First, my fist ruptures his colon him up, and now this? What the hell is going on?
[Notice! base DMG [105] + Dark Zuben DMG when equipped [1300] multiplied by Slash! [4] resulted in 5899 DMG!]
Fuck man.
Am I overpowered?
*BOOM!*
Another explosion shakes the base but that doesn't catch my attention as much as the pressurized stream of steaming water shooting toward me out from the cloud of debris at subsonic speeds.
Wating to be cool I try and split the water beam down the middle only for my weapon to fly out of my hand violently and for the beam to hit me right in the chest dealing massive damage and indenting me into the wall.
[1500 DMG taken!]
[Notice! Your [Black T-shirt] has been destroyed!]
"F-for fucks hake" I groan falling to the ground as I cough up a mouthful of blood. I knew this was a losing battle considering he is more than 3 times my level but what the actual fuck was that damage. A single attack and I'm already one shot.
Am I overpowered? Hell no, is he? Definitely.
And he shredded the only shirt I had? Now I gotta walk around topless and cold until I can find a new one, not that this lab will have anything that will fit me. *Sigh* Dick move bro, dick move.
Out of the cloud, Aquaman walks out with a bit of blood running down his lip and his trident at his side without a change in expression like I didn't just ragdoll his ass. He looks down at me both figuratively and literally as he starts making his way over to finish the job once and for all.
I try to stand up but fail miserably as I only have 2% HP left and everything hurts. No amount of SP can reduce the pain caused by my internal organs being squashed into a paste, and my nearly nonexistent willpower isn't enough for me to push past the pain and get up for a last desperate struggle.
"What a drag." So this is where I die huh? It wouldn't be such a bad way to go if my opponent was literally anyone other than this asshole. Seriously not even a single comment? Not a single joke? Not even a twitch in his expression?
What a bass.
Hmm, it feels like I'm going to be saying this a lot in the future. Don't know if it's a good thing or not but at least it's exhilarating.
Anyway.
"Any last words U-1194?" Surprisingly he asks as he gets right up in front of me and raises his trident high ready to stab me in the head.
"It's oh-fish-ial. You're a bitch."
"Is that it?"
*Cough*
"W-when you die, and when you see your mother in whatever counts as fish hell. (Probably some restaurant in japan) I want you to tell her that I knew she was just asleep when I flushed her."
"I have no mother, and I'm not a fish."
"That's what they always say."
"Okay, we're done here."
The king of fishlantis then goes to stab me.
...
...
...
BUT GUESS WHAT PART 3?!
Soul-bound weapons are OP as shit.
*Squelch*
[You have killed 1.1.8!]
*Ding*
______________________
You have killed 1.1.8!
You have completed this quest!
Rewards have been distributed!
You have leveled up!
You have gained a new class level!
You have gained a new class skill - [Stab LVL 1 - A skill gained when class [warrior] gets to level 2 that guarantees a critical hit for 100 MP with a 25-second cooldown.]
You have gained a new title - [Double bitch! When beaten down to the point of near-death the enemy has a high chance of past actions coming back to bite them in the ass!]
You have gained a mist-covered map!
[+ 52,000 EXP +520CEXP]
You have gained a new piece of equipment!
What was it?
This!
________
Gogo Gadget Bullshit!
Charges: 10
Description: A watch that was designed to detect when someone in the surrounding area is spouting bullshit.
________
This piece of equipment has been auto-equipped.
______________________
As the least useful member of the justice league falls to the ground dead with my blade stabbed into his head a lot of notifications popped up on the screen, a future tech watch appeared on my wrist, I got a new class skill, a transparent map appeared in the top right corner of my vision, all my wounds healed and I felt refreshed, and one more explosion blew in one of the walls and a single figured walked.
As their footsteps echoed throughout the dead silent arena through a cloud of smoke and dust I, with a heavy sigh, telekinetically grabbed my lightsaber and brought it to my side just in case holding it up with both hands on my right.
I'm healed, I'm focused, and I'm ready to kick some names and take ass, but holy hell can I catch a break already?