73 real crocodile tears

When getting threatened by a cult leader, dressed like the pope the last thing a man expects it to suddenly find himself shoved into a pair of large breasts by a particularly large woman

However this was the situation Cane found himself in, he had been staring into the face of lapis as the man threatened him, in a way that brought the term "shotgun marriage" to mind. Not because he had gotten the man's daughter pregnant or anything, hell he was already apparently married to her despite having only known her for a few hours and having thought she was a child until a few moments ago

It was instead because of the men behind Lapis, Shepards holding their rifles level with his head. The man had only just finished when a wolf's howl could be heard, making Cane smile before suddenly the door behind him smashed open and flung across the room, crushing the shepherds with a meaty thud and reducing them to a bloody pulp

"Hello there!" Kira yelled as she walked in, cracking her knuckles and looking towards himself and Lapis, her hair shimmering in the light and her boots leaving behind red footprints

"General Kenobi!" Cane shouted back grinning, unable to stop himself from yelling the reference, it came from a movie series that he and Leandro had once watched, Star Battles or something

He was about to speak and fill her in on the current situation, as well as likely give her a polite apology for not being able to make it to the Midnight Brawl when he was suddenly grabbed by the muscular woman and hugged fiercely, his face slamming into the crevasse between her breasts

"You're Safe…good" she said, her words melting into his ears as the woman practically purred, actually going as far to begin stroking his head, her large hand smoothly gliding against his hair and scalp "i was worried you now" she continued her words sweet like honey

"Miss Kira?" he couldnt help but ask in shock, extremely surprised by the woman's extreme actions, they usually teased and flirted but he was genuinely shocked when heard the amount of affection in her tone. And when he looked up at her, staring into her eyes he saw an all too familiar look, one that he had seen on the faces of Alice and Jasmin

A look of complete and utter devotion, laced with a silver lining of obsession.

He was about to speak again but the woman interrupted him with a shake of her head "I'm taking you home now!" she announced promptly, blocking out the screaming of Lapis as she promptly picked him up in a rather embarrassing princess carry and was about to walk out the door when she was confronted by Adina, the girl grabbing onto cane and trying to pull him away before promptly being nabbed herself as Kira made her way out

He waved at the bloody women who soon appeared as well, each of them sending him a different look, Alice with her purple eyes lighting up with love and anger as she looked from him to lapis, Akari as she tried to ignore him entirely but snuck glances and finally Jasmin who sent him just one smile before turning her entire attention to Lapis and walking towards him

As they rounded a corner, losing sight of the group of girls Cane turned to Adina who was presently being held against him in Kiras arms, blushing at the proximity and apparently issuing a quiet prayer for her father

"I thought Lapis had an ability?" He asked, nodding in the direction they had just come from "why didn't he ever use it while Kira just walked in and took us?"

Snapping out of her prayer, Adina turned to him, her eyes shining slightly with a tinkle of fanaticism "Oh my dear Deus!" she giggled, clearly still having the idea that he was a god of some sort (Deus literally means god in Latin) as she turned to him, shifting in Kiras arms as she held one of his hands between her own "My father is nothing but a fraud! His ability allows him to control the shepherds as his dolls… but without them…"

"He's just a man" Cane finished for her, grabbing onto Kiras shoulder as she sped through the complex "a dead man" he muttered under his breath before shifting in kiras arms and giving her an annoyed look "surely you don't plan on carrying me all the way back to my apartment?"

"Nope," Kira said with a smirk as she kicked open a door, revealing the outside world

"We're going to my house!"

***

Lapis pov

"Who are you people!?" he demanded as the three females walked into his room, one simply staying near his door as it closed behind them and the other two, the blue and white-haired ones walking towards him with grins that reminded him of the devil's own "how dare you steal my daughter and son in law! Do you have any idea who i am!?" he demanded

That caused them to pause, a sound of shattering appearing in the room as the one at the back of the room stumbled, knocking over an extremely expensive vase while the other two went completely still

"SoN IN LAw?" the white-haired one asked, her voice feeling like ice on his skin as it twisted and warped

"Yes, I was presently celebrating with my daughter and her groom when you stumbled in here, I am a proud citizen and political figure in this city, I'll call the defenders if you do not return them right here and now," he threatened, pulling out his phone. Not that he could ever call the strongest hero team in the city, they would sooner arrest him

"Groom?" the other girl asked, her yellow eyes twitching and slowly slinking around the room as the smell of blood began to permeate the room as red tears literally ran down her face and dripped onto the mat "Cane got married?!" she screamed before catching herself, wiping at the tears of blood with a surprised expression before turning back to him with an expression that screamed anger

Anger greater than he had ever seen

He should have just called the Defenders