1 Before

"Jerod! Let's go for a hike in the Rockies this weekend! You only get so much time off during summer break, you can't just focus on your lesson plans for your classes next year."

"Hey Lindsay! You want to go to the Rockies? I have pretty much finished my lesson plans for the kids through the first semester so spending some time out doors before the year starts would be great!"

As Jerod put his lesson plans away in his briefcase he looks up at Lindsay to see her expectant look on her face. Being a history teacher for a high school he stays busy for 10 and a half months out of the year. Being a teacher is more work than most think! Monday through Friday you teach classes from 8-4 and grade homework afterwards sometimes for hours. Even the weekends are filled with grading papers and making plans for keeping on track with the school's lesson plan compared to the personal lesson plan. So in the only free month of the year it is great to get outside and do anything.

'Lindsay sure is a great friend, every year she makes sure to take vacation to get me out of the house and away from civilization. It's too bad we have both come out and said we are just like brother and sister, it would be nice to have a girlfriend or eventually a wife to look out for me like this.'

"So Lindsay, how long is our hiking trip going to be this year?"

"I took off for two weeks starting this Saturday and don't have any other plans so however long you want to stay outdoors during that time."

"Let's do this Saturday to next Monday that way we can come back when there is little traffic and you can have some of your vacation to relax."

"Sounds great! I will get the maps ready and the hiking gear so you just make sure you are wearing some good hiking clothes and shoes this year. We don't want a mosquito incident like last year do we? HAHAHA"

"Ha ha very funny... Yes I have learned from my mistake of not wearing appropriate attire while sleeping in the wild. Also I have stopped using the lotion that attracted those mosquitoes so it shouldn't be a big deal."

"Whatever you say Jerod, watching you run around in the dark half naked swatting, scratching, and yelping definitely made the highlight reel for last year's trip. Speaking of which I need to go buy some things for the first aid kit and air out my camping kit as well. Let me know if you need anything, I will see you on Saturday! Be packed and ready, I will pick you up!"

"Okay, okay I will be ready, I have the essentials so I don't think I need anything else but I will do a check today and let you know. See you Saturday!"

'If we weren't like brother and sister that would be even more embarrassing... Lindsay has always been good natured I am glad to have someone like her in my life even if we aren't romantically involved.'

As Jerod finished the final touches on his lesson plans and prepared his hiking clothes and hygiene essentials the next few days passed quickly.

Bright and early on Saturday Lindsay picked Jerod up and they left for the hiking station nearest to them in the Rockies. It is extremely important to check-in with the hiking station and let them know the area you plan to hike to and the amount of time planned to be out so they can send a search party if you get lost or have an accident and go passed the planned travel time.

After checking in with the forestry station and setting on the way Lindsay and Jerod spend their time hiking to their favorite lake in the mountains. They talk about their jobs and the highlights of the past year and point out the different wildlife they pass by. After a few days they finally reach the lake they found last year and decide to camp there for a few days before heading back.

"Jerod grab out the fishing poles from that bag over there and the mini shovel so you can get some worms. I want to have fresh fish tonight. While you do that I will put the tents together, one of these years you might be able to do it without ripping anything."

"Sigh... I think it is more a design problem with the tent versus a problem with how I put it together. Anyway I have you to do that stuff so I will leave that to you and catch some food."

Jerod smiled at Lindsay and turned away to get the fishing poles and shovel from the bag. Missing the slight sadness in Lindsay's eyes as she shakes her head. Jerod moved off to get some worms and start catching some fish while Lindsay puts the tents together lost in her thoughts.

'Jerod that idiot. I don't know what he is going to do without me. I have to tell him before we start on our way back so he has time to process or he won't ever get through the future.'

As the hours went by Lindsay thought of ways to ease into the topic of how to tell Jerod everything until the sun started to hang low in the sky. She even volunteered to gather some firewood to cook the fish to have more time to herself and think. As they sat around the campfire and ate the cooked fish she starred at Jerod with a complicated look on her face.

"Lindsay, are you feeling okay? Was your fish not good? You don't look like you're feeling well. "

Lindsay gave a slight jump and snapped out of her thoughts to look at Jerod. She didn't know how to break it to him softly so she decided she needed to be direct and just tell him everything.

"The fish was great! But, Jerod I have to tell you something... You aren't going to like what I have to tell you about and I don't want you to take it too hard. Come sit by me and let me tell you everything WITHOUT being interrupted. Can you do that for me?"

Jerod sighed with relief once he heard there was nothing wrong with the fish. He knew he wasn't very good with a lot of things outdoors and was truly worried he might have done something wrong cooking her fish. He depended on Lindsay for everything that didn't involve his job and basic responsibilities. Once he heard that there was news he wouldn't like however his face froze and he nodded solemnly while he moved over to the log she was sitting on.

"What is it Lindsay? I promise not to interrupt, but the look on your face is scarring me."

Lindsay relaxed her face while she mentally prepared herself to deliver the news to Jerod.

'I guess it's now or never, once I tell him it will be like accepting the truth...'

"Jerod, you are the only important person in my life, and I know that it is the same for me to you..."

'God this is hard, how is he going to take it?'

"They say bad news should be delivered like taking off a band-aid... so here it goes. Jerod, I am dying. Now don't interrupt!"

Jerod froze with his mouth open, words stuck in his throat. All he could do is nod while his mind went through turmoil.

"Jerod, listen to me. I wanted to tell you everything now so that for the next few days we can spend time together and I can help you come to terms with all of the information. So let me go through everything and we can talk about any questions you have afterwards okay?"

Jerod just sat and nodded.

'Well he hasn't ran away yet so this is going better than expected already. I just hope I can keep my strong front put up until the end.'

"Okay so let me start from the top. If you remember last year on our hiking trip I complained a bit towards the end about having a headache a lot for the few days we used to hike back. Well I tried to brush it off on sleeping wrong, or just being outdoors for too long anything that I could think of. Well the headache didn't go away after a few more days after the trip was over even though I was taking some aspirin and other medications to try to alleviate the pain. Finally after dealing with it for a few weeks I decided to go to the doctor. The doctors ran tests and did examinations for a few months until finally they discovered a brain tumor. They told me that it was inoperable and gave me a few options. I tried to do the cancer medications and even did some radiation treatments but nothing caused the tumor to shrink. Finally about six months ago the doctors told me that they could only do palliative care at that point as there was no effect from all the treatment options. When I asked them how long I had left they told me maybe six months maybe a year. At that point I told them I didn't want any further care. I just wanted something that could help with the headaches and to live out the rest of my days doing things I wanted to do. I quit my job and went to a few places that I wanted to visit. I decided when they told me that I didn't have long that I would tell you during our hiking trip so that we could spend time together at the end. I didn't tell you sooner because I knew that it would affect you with your job, and I didn't want to do that. Also I knew once I told you, the only important person in my life, that it would be true. Once that happened I wouldn't be able to ignore it anymore. I am sorry for waiting so long to tell you, I know it was selfish of me."

As Jerod listened he was in turmoil at the thought of losing her. Lost in the fact that he would never see her again, never talk to her again. His whole world was falling apart, the only part of his life that separated him from being a robot in monotonous daily lesson plans.

Jerod started crying as she told him that she waited to tell him because of how it would affect him and his work. As if his work was more important than her. Just because it took up so much of his life did not mean that it was so important that she had to suffer alone.

"Jerod, thank you for listening without interrupting. Now do me a favor and stay here while I take a short walk to clear my head. Once I come back you can ask any questions you want."

"Wait! You are just going to walk away after dropping all of that on me?"

"Jerod! Let a girl cry in the dark where you can't see. At least give me that much dignity okay?

Jerod was stunned. He gave a silent nod and gave her a flashlight telling her to stay close since it was so dark out.

'Lindsay... what do I say? What would help in this situation? What do I do? How do I go on without you?'

Jerod sat looking at the fire for what felt like ages. Soon the fire started to die down and he became worried because Lindsay still hadn't returned. As he told himself over and over that she just wanted time to herself he became more and more worried until finally he decided she had been gone for far too long. He grabbed a flashlight and set out to find her.

Ten minutes later he found Lindsay laying next to a tree and he ran up to her to find her with her face scrunched up in pain.

"Lindsay! Are you okay? What happened?"

Lindsay held her head with her hands and opened her eyes to stare at Jerod. She knew this was probably it. The doctors told her that either she would go peacefully in her sleep or it she would get a particularly splitting headache just before the end. She starred at Jerod who had worry written all over his face and pushed the pain away as best she could.

"Jerod, I am sorry. I probably don't have much longer. I was hoping we could make it through the whole hiking trip but it doesn't seem I will have the full six months the doctors told me I might have. I want you to know a few things before I go.

First, don't stay stuck in your lesson plans and papers and work so much. You need to get out and have a life especially now that we won't have our annual hiking trip.

Second, don't beat yourself up about me waiting to tell you about my condition. It wasn't only how you would react that kept me from telling you for so long. I just wasn't ready to accept the truth and telling you would make it true.

Third, don't be an idiot"

'Because you are an idiot. You are an idiot because once you set something in your head you stick to it no matter what. Like our relationship with each other. Just because we said we were like brother and sister back in high school all those years ago doesn't mean that we will always be that. How could you not tell that I loved you all this time? It's too bad I could never say it out loud... And I am not that cliché to say it while I am dying and hurt you even more...'

"Lindsay, don't say anymore. I will get you back to the camp and I will take you back to the forestry center ASAP when the sun comes up. Just relax."

Jerod picked Lindsay up and carried her back to the camp and placed her in her tent. He sat with her the rest of the night keeping an eye on her waiting for the sun to come up to take her back.

As the sun began to rise everything stopped. Lindsay was milliseconds from passing away, Jerod was just standing up to pick her up to take her back, fish were frozen in air jumping from the lake. While frozen Jerod's consciousness started floating out of his body up and up out of the forest, into the air, and disappeared through a crack in the sky.