Chapter 31: Death of the Taxmen.

With care I took a sip of the pink coloured wine; it had a softer and sweeter taste than the dark red wine of the night before.

Dya poured the others a glass too, except for Valaea and Slaido.

Valaea said that Mr. Picky Eater had to eat his veggies first. Much to the chagrin of Slaido, who defiantly grabbed a meaty slice from Valaea's plate.

''Are we sleeping here tonight?''

I asked politely.

Dya shook her head and drank from her wine.

''No, that is too risky.

The Wavemen have been sighted near the coast. So we will be sleeping at the stable near the castle.''

I had no idea who these Wavemen were, but they sounded dangerous.

Valaea was skewering pieces of eggplant on her fork, making a valiant effort to make Slaido eat it. Slaido refused and turned his head away from her.

Now, Valaea was not having it. With a loud yell she grabbed Slaido by his vest and threw him on the table!

I was the only one who was taken by surprise by this sudden escalation of culinary activity.

With the fork in her hand she climbed on top of Slaido's chest, forcing the eggplant to his mouth.

There was something odd about the situation, other than the excessive amount of violence that Valaea was using.

Even though Slaido was much more muscular than Valaea, she managed to overpower him slowly.

I poked Dya in her side, making her utter a yelp, which was very cute.

She looked over at me, and took a sip from my drink.

I asked her why Valaea appeared to be so strong. Dya laughed and pointed at Valaea's right arm, which had a soft blueish hue over it.

''Valaea is using Fortification Magic to raise her Strength.

Don't worry, this is almost a common occurrence between the two of them. Although it has been a while that this has happened with such intensity.''

Upon closer inspection it appeared that Valaea's eye colour was turning from Purple to light Blue. It reminded me a bit of Hysta's glowing Orange eyes.

I gazed upon the clash that was unfolding in front of my face. And decided that it was not in my interest to get involved.

My head was now spinning with questions about my current situation.

Like, what is in the Parcel? Why is it so heavy? And why can't I have intercourse with the Princess?!

I sighed and took another sip from my drink.

Dunno and Kadeiva excused themselves from the table. Telling us that they were going to saddle up the horses for us.

I had no idea how Kadeiva was going to manage that, but then again, I have seen a guy roll a sigaret without hands. So I gave it no further thought.

A servant came over with a plate filled with baked bananas and gave Dya and me one each.

The servant looked at the struggle on the table. He sighed and left two bananas for when they were done fighting.

Suddenly I came up with a question that was not related to food or making babies; it was the question that was the pillar of every civilisation.

I felt really smart and started to grin.

Dya had noticed and turned towards me, knowing full well that I was going to ask something. I emptied out my glass of wine and asked what I wanted to ask:

''What is the Dolovian Kingdom's tax policy?''

Dya was silent.

So was the rest of the room. Even Slaido and Valaea stopped their foodfight and looked at me.

Without warning Dya started to laugh! As did everybody else!

Valaea used this opportunity to shove the slices of eggplant into Slaido's mouth and forced him to chew. After he was done chewing he swallowed and smiled at Valaea.

She smiled back at him and pinched his cheek. After showing her that he had swallowed all of it she grinned. The both of them continued to laugh at me loudly.

I had no idea what was the reason for this collective burst of laughter.

In my world taxes are serious business, and these people were acting like I had told them the best joke in the world.

Dya stopped laughing as she was clinging to me, doing her best not to fall over. The laughter died down and Dya explained why they responded in that way.

''The Dolovian Kingdom does not have a tax policy.

Most of our revenue comes from the Gold Mines that we own on the Mainland. And our subjects are accustomed to voluntary donations to the Temple of the Lady.

After the Second Carapace War the Kingdom annexed a large portion of the Empty Quarter in the Eastern Part of the Mainland.

And the people there told us that they were being taxed to the hilt by the Underdeep Empire. They had very little to offer us and we gave them a tax break in order to help them rebuild.

This had the effect of causing a tax revolt in the Dolovian Archipelago.

During the War there were many tax collectors who had fleeced the revenues for their own benefit. And many were murdered by angry citizens in response.

It was not in the Kingdom's interest to have a civil war right after a destructive war. So we abolished the tax system on promise that the Citizens would now be responsible for their own welfare.

At the moment the system works very well and the reconstruction effort is proceeding under budget and ahead of schedule.''

In silence I had eaten my baked banana, completely mentally trampled by the fact that Magic was real in this world, but taxes were not.

I was now becoming more curious about the other affairs of the Kingdom and asked Dya about the Army.

Slaido, who was now back on his chair eating his baked banana and drinking the wine straight from the carafe, answered for the Princess:

''There is no Dolovian Army either;

This harmless lot were are not Soldiers in the way that you know them from your world. We are Private Military Contractors, PMC's for short.

We are hired by the Kingdom to provide the means of security and stability. After the War the Dolovian Army was weakened to the point of breaking.

So the Monarchy filled the ranks with Mercenaries from the Mainland and the Outer Islands. Over time this construction became the basis for the current military situation.

We are very well paid for our efforts. The men here are the wounded veterans who stay here until we have recovered and can rejoin our units on the mainland.''

This world was getting weirder and weirder.

Not only was the Kingdom a state without a tax policy, it was without a proper military as well. I looked around at the healthy and well-fed faces around me.

Even though this place was on the brink of Anarchy, it appeared not to be as terrible as it was presented in my world.

I was no longer willing to ask smart questions.

Kadeiva and Dunno returned to us with the message that the horses were saddled up. Valaea told us that she and Slaido would escort us to the stable.

We would be going on two horses, and Dya insisted that she would ride with Valaea.

She drank the last of her wine and the four of us made our way to the stables.