17 15

"Each time I recount the experience of that day, I'm left broken all over again"

F.A.B.

I was about to leave for the mall, so I took my ATM card, my phone and earphone and strutted out, it was mid afternoon, I don't want to get there when people will be packed there, I hate crowds so much. I opened my door and came to face Shola,

"How may I help you" I asked as politely as I could,

"I need to talk to you"

"About?"

"Your spirituality"

I rolled my eyes in response and locked my door.

"Look, I'm in no mood for small talk Shola, if you ever see me back in early, we can talk then, but not today."

I didn't wait for his response before I walked away. I'm an atheist and that's final. They say God created the earth, I don't believe that shit anymore, I don't even know what to believe...so people should just let me be.

The mall...big and beautiful in all its glory, holding all that people need, hair salons, accessories stores, gaming stores, supermarkets and well...all you can think of, yes... restaurants included, with all their yummy goodness, and also bakeries with yummy treats. I found my way to the accessories and cosmetics stores, not to window shop, but to actually shop... you'd find it hard to believe I use accessories but I actually do, I use anklets, earrings, regular finger rings and bracelets...I have a special charm bracelet that I always wear, it's special because it was given to me by someone special, someone I'm not ready to go into details about...me being broken doesn't mean I can't try to be beautiful every once a while.

I walked out of the accessories store with two bags in each hand, I was trying to walk freely when I bumped into someone, and we both fell back, my grip was a little loose, but it tightened when I saw who I bumped into, a coursemate, no not Gloom, it was a girl, by the name of Amber, I'm not angry at seeing her, I'm angry at her seeing me at the mall with all the bags from expensive stores...I noticed she's a bit like a gold digger.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," I apologized and walked away briskly, not wanting to have a conversation...hold on, she heard my voice.

Crap.

Can this school year ever be better? I ran out of the mall being extra careful not to bump into anyone again, and hoping she doesn't have the opportunity to catch up with me, I seriously wish she doesn't try to talk to me at school tomorrow, I'd have even liked it better if I bumped into Gloom instead, and come to think of it, I've never seen Gloom before until now, or am I just noticing him?

I got home and collapsed on the bed after having a shower of course. One more question...who in devil's grip is the weirdo that calls me poppy? And also who is Gloom? Did I forget, why the heck does Shola want to talk about my spirituality like he'll make it better? People and their problems.

I'm not a fan of love, I'm not a fan of attachment, I'm not a fan of God, I'm not a fan of friends or anything, and I'm also not a fan of joy, I lost that years ago. Right now, I'm hooked up on the thought that I'm actually going to enter that mansion, the image of the compound has never left me, it's stuck to my brain, I hope it doesn't erase from my memory.

Night fell and instead of letting my inner troubles eat me up, I arranged my paintings in a case and went to have a bath...yes....I love water running down my skin. I feel light, again, I'm sure I'll get high if I enter the mansion tonight.

I dressed up and went to pick up my phone, I was about to leave, I got to the drawer where it sat and saw the woman's business card, I never touched it after that day, I dropped the phone and picked up the card...it was golden with blue edges, it read that she's a civil engineer, I proceeded to look at her name;

Felicia Anuoluwapo Bamgboye.

F.A.B.

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