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"People say life is not a bed of roses, but I say roses have thorns, but it means the same thing, life is not easy, as you grow older you realise that..."

F.A.B.

"Since when?" He asked

"Many years back" I looked away trying to stop the tears from forming in my eyes.

"Why? If I may ask"

"I do not want to talk about it"

"Why?"

"Goodbye," I ended the conversation and walked away, I'm an atheist, yes, I stopped believing in God a long time ago, right after the incident, I stopped believing, like, why would I have faced that if he exists? If he truly "loves" me why could that have happened? Clearly the Bible tells us lies and nothing really matters, yes I'm hurt, that event altered everything in me, to loose one thing that gives you joy all in less than 30 minutes...God doesn't exist...it's all a big lie!

So yes, I spend my Sundays alone, the same way I spend my Saturdays, not entirely in gloom, just doing what I classify as "lazy overload," but every once a while I paint...I paint anything I get compelled to, but that mainly depends on what I found while wandering around in my head. My head leaves me in awe, that's why I don't like having people around me, I don't want distractions.

Tonight I have a dinner with that friendly woman whose name I do not know, and whose gesture I can not forget, one good turn does deserves another. I'd just wear my usual outfit, jeans and hoodie, but I think I'd make today different, I went to my wardrobe and brought out a black T-shirt, like I said, black is my favorite colour, nothing can change that.

I dropped the clothes on my bed, and went to eat some cereal...it's morning please, I'll be going to the mall later today to get my toiletries...as long as it doesn't rain, I'm good. Corn based cereal really tastes great with warm milk, of course anyone in their right senses would know that. The way I eat is...wonderful, I can't try to loose weight, I have enough things on my mind, I can't carry weight loss program and put it on...I'm born to be thick, not "fat," fat is an offensive word to me. "Thick" is way much better, the difference? "Fat" makes you irritated "thick" attracts you with the hips, thighs and backside... thick is the "sexy" one...fat? Nah!

I'm not trying to attract anyone's attention, I'm just trying my best to look composed on the outside, when I'm a huge blob of mess on the inside...the point? Look presentable and respectable. The way you're dressed is the way you're addressed anyway, so...I have to rock it right and watch excessive food intake too. I'm a foodie, I've always been a foodie and I'll remain a foodie for who knows how long. I'm born to be thick anyway.