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" I wish for a turnaround, to forget my past, to forget my loss, but that's impossible, very impossible."

F.A.B.

I love to sleep in on Saturdays, to wake up super late to see the sun high up in the sky, then to have my morning routine, eat then laze around a bit, read afterwards and listen to music. I've never tried dancing, I feel like it's an activity for the super joyful, for those who can feel emotions in each limb of their body and flow in perfect harmony with the beat from the music...I can't do that, I can't flow in perfect harmony I'm just a music person...I don't fancy love, I feel like it's something for those without trouble, like I said, all the love I had in me vanished in a day, it will take a cold day in hell to get me to love someone ever again. I got up from bed and turned on my playlist, something cool to keep me in check, and to erase every flash I had this morning and also the thought of love that came into my mind, I'm not into that, it's a total waste of time if you'd ask me, why would I engage in it when I know the feelings won't last? Yes, I might sound like a big baby right now but who am I to blame?

My favorite place is still my bathroom or my balcony, during evening time, I'd sit there and stare at the other houses in the estate and watch the sun go down. As a result of the trauma, night time scared me, but I decided that what I saw that day is more scary than what night might bring with it...noting scares me anymore, I'm not a baby...but I'm still very fragile at heart. I might look all tough and stuck up but I'm actually very soft, that is why I've built walls to protect myself from being harmed in an emotional roller coaster, so I don't have to regret any action I might have made, to protect yourself, you have to be very wise, and wisdom comes from your experiences in life.

My past experiences cannot just be revealed carelessly it'll take a lot of trust in you for me to recount that day, unfortunately, I've found no one, because I don't want to risk it, you don't know who to trust in life, you just have to use your discretion...in order to be safe in your haven.

What do you do on a Saturday apart from being lazy? I read, I read novels on adventure and mystery, my life is an adventure and mystery, my life has a lot of turns in it's entirety, its had its earthquakes, tsunamis and volcanic eruptions, which has left it in total destruction, but I know somewhere, there's a new beginning coming up, I just have to be patient, and keep hoping...like it would happen.

And so my Saturday went, with me listening to music and reading novels and eating...just like that, no efforts made to do anything in any way, I like it like that.

Sunday...

I walked out my door to look at my favorite building, the mansion, it was beautiful in the morning sun, satisfied with gazing at it, I turned around to return to my room then I saw Shola walking towards me dressed office-like and all, I was still in my PJ's

"Hey Fiyin, good morning"

"Morning Shola"

"Uhh...aren't you going to church?" He asked.

"No" I responded flatly.

"Why?"

"I'm an atheist.”