3 I Am Legend
"Dragon, send me a hefty containment foam sprayer, and use Hemorrhagia for the video. I like the dramatic twist." I ordered and went to work putting out the apartment fire with the spray gun that teleported to my hand.
I know I'm not supposed to feel like a hero for fixing problems I started, but putting out the blaze threatening to burn this building full of people I don't give a fuck about feels pretty heroic. Overcoming apathy is no small act. While I began dealing with the fire, the unpowered members of the Teeth came out to see what happened, and I conveniently dealt with some loose ends with a couple of snap-hisses. With grace and skill, I contained the fire and evacuated a few people down to the street in need of treatment for burns or smoke inhalation. All finished, I turned for one last look at the scene and saw that it was good.
I turned back to get on the ARMScycle and came face to face with a damn handsome man in a sky blue body glove sporting a classic domino-style superhero mask.
"Armsmaster." the wavy haired man greeted tensely.
"Legend." I fired right back.
"What are you doing in New York?" the local and national leader of the Protectorate began his interrogation.
"Thwarting some plans." I answered.
"Thwarting some plans?" he slightly recoiled in surprise, "What plans?"
"The bad guys' plans." I replied.
"That sounds good." Legend grit his teeth, sure a sign as any he believed me.
"Could be." I offered, "You a man of faith?"
"I have hope." he answered.
"That's good." I smiled, "Many don't understand the power of belief."
"I believe it's time you explain what happened here." Legend commanded, "Why is the leader of the ENE Branch in my city, at the scene of an explosion. We're real touchy about those after what happened last month."
"I received a video message today letting me know that the Teeth had captured my ex, and that I would arrive at a time and place of their choosing, alone." I lied while maintaining Colin's Colin's inflection like a boss, "I used their cell phone usage to track them down, and set off to handle this specific break of the Rules with extreme prejudice."
"That's a Terrible situation, Armsmaster." Legend stated, "And also completely against protocol."
"Temporary insanity from high stress." I deflected, "Regardless, the situation is resolved with minimum collateral damage. Highly efficient."
"Which members of the Teeth did you fight?" Legend asked and I inwardly sighed at the need to say Hemorrhagia again.
"Animos, Vex, Hemorrhagia, and The Butcher." I answered.
"You dealt with The Butcher with extreme prejudice?" Legend's stance suddenly became incredibly aggressive.
"No need for concern." I maintained my neutral posture, "The voices of the previous Butcher's were no match for my capacity to repress and ignore my problems."
"This is no joking matter." the peak power flying artillery cape growled.
"You obviously have no concept of how powerfully I can press down my feelings." I defended both mine and Colin's stiff upper lip, "My ex turned out to be Hemorrhagia. She tried to lure me into a death trap because she felt I ruined her life, which was a lie. We had a great relationship that ended with a clear and concise email after I chose to dedicate myself to heroism. There was no way I could have ruined her life after that. She never saw me again. Despite the betrayal and slander, I'm perfectly fine talking to you right now. Unshakable."
"Oh my God." Legend's tense posture slumped, "We put you in charge of children. I've never hoped for a Master/Stranger event to happen to a Protectorate hero before now, because if that is an honest window into your emotional intelligence, then we have done the city of Brockton Bay a major disservice putting you in charge there." Legend's fist lit up with his light blue multifarious energy, "That said, I think I smell a load of BS, and you are under arrest."
The crowd of people recording us on their cellphones gasped.
"There's no need for two heroes to clash here." I told him, "Sorry to disappoint everyone hoping to catch a Cape Fight for their internet clout. I surrender, and am sure that I'll be back in Brockton Bay as soon as the Protectorate clears me of Master/Stranger suspicion."
Legend kept me in his custody until an armored PRT van arrived to transport me to the New York HQ, from there he went into overwatch flying above the vehicle. The building took a lot of inspiration from the Hall of Justice, with a grand plaza in front of it to fully display the power of the Protectorate even over things as unopposable as property prices in New York City. After a thorough processing I found myself in a cell deep underground strapped to a steel slab in a straight jacket wearing a restraint mask Silence of the Lambs style.
"Are you the man who uses the Cape Name Armsmaster?" came the voice of Legend on the sound system.
"No." I answered calmly.
"Who are you?" Legend continued.
"I am Grunt." so did I.
"How are you controlling Armsmaster's body?" Legend interrogated from however far away enough he needed to be to feel safe.
"It is my nature to consume and absorb." I answered evenly, "Colin and I simply came together by chance, and nature did as it does."
"Can Armsmaster regain control of his body?" Legend inquired.
"No, he is gone." I answered, "The closest we could get would be me programming a VI persona of Colin and stuffing a control chip into his brain to puppet this meat suit, but Colin himself only exists so much as he lives on in me."
"Did you kill The Butcher?" came the next line of questions from Legend.
"Yes." I answered.
"Did you consume and absorb the persona's of the previous Butchers?" Legend.
"No." Me.
"Why not?" Legend.
"To do so would gain me nothing." Me.
"What do you want?" Legend.
"Something you can never give me, and that I should never have." Me.
"Why shouldn't you have it?" Legend.
"To have her is to take her from myself." me.
"Besides The Butcher's power, do you have any other Master abilities?" Legend.
"No, but if the PRT had a ranking category that conglomerates gumption, hutzpah, moxie, childlike wonder, the cut of one's jib, and a certain je ne sais quoi they'd put mine at 12+. If you all choose to believe that what I do is 'Mastering', I'll understand. You'll all be idiots, but I'll understand."
The intercom remained quiet while Legend and whatever truth determining parahuman or Tinker Tech digested my words.
"What do you plan to do next?" Legend.
"That very much depends on the power of belief." I smiled under the mask, "I am a generous god. If you chose to believe that I am good, release me, work with me, and by next month the USA and Canada will be post scarcity societies. Choose to believe that I am evil, and I'll turn Colin's body off and ride The Butcher to my next host. Maybe, you Legend. I'd love to go around saying 'I am Legend.' everywhere."
"Why haven't you done so already?" Legend.
"Principle." Me.
"What principle?" Legend.
"The only true tragedy is waste." Me.
"That was only a half truth." Legend.
"I'd also risk losing Shardmaster in the transition." Me.
"Shardmaster?" Legend.
"The multidimensional alien quantum computer attached to the growths in Colin's brain." Me.
"Why does that matter to you?" Legend.
"He's such a brilliant mind. There is a small risk that I will not be able to transition him whole using The Butcher's power. The risk of mutilating such a capable partner is unacceptable outside of escaping sure lose conditions." Me.
"Is The Butcher's power your only fall back plan?" Legend.
"Of course not. What time is it?" Me.
"11:46 PM." Legend.
"Then we are cutting it close." I informed the leader of the Protectorate, "If I'm not back in my lab to signal the all clear, then the AI I created this morning will destroy all the data stored on anything with an internet connection." Me.
It didn't take long for Legend to enter my cell through a portal and begin removing my restraints, another portal opened as the previous closed, this one had Colin's lab on the other side.
"Move." Legend commanded with a glowing fist after he freed me from my restraints.
I removed the mask and smiled before stepping through the portal and partook of a satisfying stretch of Colin's shoulders.
"Send the all clear." Legend ordered without stepping through the portal himself.
Not like I could duck around a corner to get away if he chose to use his lasers. They curve, bend, zig, and zag far faster than I can move currently.
"Already done." I revealed, "Feel free to keep Colin's gear. Maybe put it in a private display case memorializing the man and his efforts. As for me, I'll do him a solid and let people think he's the first man to kill an Endbringer. Tell me, Legend, has anyone tried flinging them at FTL speeds into a neutron star? I've never found a Kaiju that didn't die from that."
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For those unaware of the setting, the Endbringers are Kaiju with powerful superpowers far beyond being really big monsters. They are a bit of a contentious element of the worldbuilding as despite Worm's fairly coherent deconstruction of the Super Hero genre, the Endbringers have possibly the most handwaviest just trust me on it aspect to their defensive capabilities. TLDR on them is that they are really cool set piece battles that ultimately overstayed their welcome in the narrative due to asspull mechanics and overuse.
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