Chapter 45

We head up to Skye's residence. I am in tow of the three Alphas but I'm happy to walk behind. Symbolism of power wasn't my concern. Plus, I can observe them. I thought about them a lot while in captivity.

Vastian is on the right, Skye in the middle, Raygar on the left.

The Ryder in my dreams cried for them and loved them like a little bitch. Vastian scared me, made me fear him in a way that made me… soft. Raygar was the one to shove me down that chute – toward Hades. He was so cold. But he was young, like me. Learning. That's all I could give him.

Skye – the biggest confusion for me was… was him entirely. Everything about Skye.

If there was one Alpha that hit the vulnerable core of who I am, it's Skye – because he 'saved' me from that cage when I was delivered. He chose me.

I would not forget that, despite hating him for being involved in my first disastrous mission.

I had learned to hate them, so intensely, so loyal was my hate, but only because I wished they'd have known me better.

Now – only I know me.

When we arrive in Skye's residence – it's strictly formal at first. We enter the private bedroom, and each brother stands by the window in a line as I present before them in the middle of the bedroom. I'm observed like a pet, but that's the last of my concerns.

"What has Jawkin taught you?" Raygar starts, a bored question. Arrogant fuck.

Skye looks on, with a sparkle in his eye – a want for knowledge. But he stays silent.

"…am I really the Luna –?" I drawl the most provocative question first, of course, while simultaneously disregarding Raygar's direct query.

"Yes," Vastian snarls.

"Yours?" I ask, finishing my question, since the eldest decided to interrupt me a little too soon.

Vastian pauses, his eyes narrow but not much.

I glance to Skye – his arms are firmly crossed over his chest.

"You were naïve to believe it; that Wolf Beasts choose Lunas. You lunatic," Raygar mocks me with a gutter insult, depraved and hurt from the loss I represent. The loss of dear Meri.

"Shut up," Vastian hisses under his breath to Raygar, but it's too late.

"The Alpha… chooses," Skye's eyes are focused on mine – and I feel it.

Heat. That, I remember very well.

"…and who is the Alpha of Wolf Dominion?" I whisper.

"Me," Skye answers, his eyes slowly blink, confidently.

"Really?" I question, anyway – aiming to rouse the other two.

"I am," Vastian speaks calmly now too, just mildly irate.

"You have no claim?" I glance to Raygar. His lips just tug up in a snarl, almost a smirk that he tries to hide too late, "You all think you're Alpha – you just share it. Different roles. The leader," I nod to Skye, "The executer," I glance at Raygar, "The Advisor," and lastly Vastian.

"You talk like you think you know," Vastian almost mocks me, "…and do you think you're Luna?"

Shift.

Click.

There is a… very physical change in me. I –

"I'm Ryder?" I whisper out of nowhere, looking at the ground.

My back decreases a little – my spine… curling inward.

Weakness enters me, disregarding my will. I feel strength evaporate.

I gasp for air but there is no problem breathing, rather, something has been… turned off?

"Ryder," Skye lifts his hand, showing me a small remote, "I'm sorry," he murmurs quietly, "It's something that's controllable –" I don't let him finish.

"What is?!" I gasp it and it comes out in a whine almost – a whimper almost. No- no…

No!

Skye flips it back on, and a light on the tiny remote shifts from dull silver to blue.

I feel things inside me shift again, locking into place. Click. A couple of times.

I stand taller – my insane confidence comes back.

My gaze focuses on the remote and I say nothing.

Over and down.

Silence.

Over and down.

My plan is my entire existence right now.

This was the last fucking thing I could take. I knew I'd be betrayed eventually, again, in an inexcusable fashion, and this fucking turn –

"Fresh air," I force out the stoic words as I march stiff, my way past all three to the balcony behind them.

I slam open the door at an early dawn, I step forward to the podium Skye has spoken from many times. An intimidation tactic, looking down at the Canyon from so high above in the greatest Dominion on Genesis.

I feel their sly mockery behind me as I stand there looking out – at everything they have 'ownership' of.

I talk to them before they speak to me. My well-rehearsed speech. I begin, while staring at the edges of a violent sun, rising, "I am on a quest for truth. My truth. I have a feeling in my chest that… one of you loves me. And one," it would be a joke if it was just one for the next accusation, "…one of you has lied to me… and one of you regrets even knowing me. I know Genesis love their Kind. And I am loyal to Wolf Dominion," I follow the sun's fast rise, blazing above the horizon. It was dangerous to be out here much longer, "But tell me. This truth first. If any of you love me… speak," I think of… no.

I just –

Trust no one.

The answer behind me?

Silence.

Trust not.

I turn around – I'm shocked for a moment.

Because only Skye is standing outside with me, and his thick black hair lazily flies in the hot breeze, while he watches me closely. No signs of anger or otherwise.

And just like a man in full control – he completely disregards my words of love. Instead he says, "That remote is not to control you, it's to help disguise you and it's for you to hold," Skye holds it out to me and places it in my hand as I reach for it immediately, "…it's to hide your reformation if you need to… why so dramatic?"

"Hide this?" I think of me, as a soldier, and I spontaneously toss the remote back to him and he catches it, "Hide it now, one more time," I reach for Skye's frozen hand mid air and I turn it off for him, an excuse to touch him.

I just want to feel my first self again for a moment. The dumb human.

As my back slouches briefly again – I get one lusty thought.

Completely. Selfish.

"Disguise or…" I whisper, tasting my fear on my tongue.

"What?" Skye is confused by what I want.

I had to be a scared-brave to ask it, facing his metallic robes rather than his eyes, "Will you fuck me one last time with it… off…" I whisper, too afraid to make it a question.

It was a reoccurring dream.

He got me out of his system.

Now I had to get him out of my system.

It would benefit the new Ryder.

Skye scoffs darkly, and I look up, distraught.

"What?" I ask back, almost a hiss.

Skye leans down, cruel with his blue glint, his cut smiling lip – as I hear the Sunblast roaring over the landscape toward us, so we would have to retreat very soon within. He places his voice by my cheek, "We can handle you exactly as you are today," Skye flips the switch again.

A hard shift this time.

I stand taller immediately to meet him, answering him "I doubt it."

Skye pulls back to meet my drilling stare.

"I doubt we couldn't," Skye is trying not to laugh at me.

My own lip twitches as I move forward – closing our distance.

"I don't want you to handle me," I press my left hand along his ribcage, and he slowly tilts his head, completely enthused and intrigued by this new me, "I want you to regret me. I want you to hate me," I tell him this without my eyes closing, without my throat shutting tight. It's loud. It's clear.

"…mm, but I hate no female," Skye automatically replies and my eyes flash upright. Excuse me? I immediately turn around to get more fresh air, backing off from him again as I look down over the edge, stepping right near death, "Don't jump," Skye snarls as he steps forward with me, ready to stop me. But I'm quick in my reply.

"I never would," I look back at him, "It's just a good height to achieve immediate death… for anyone… of any Kind... remember that," I wasn't meant to tell him that.

Skye relaxes as I step back from the edge with him, and he holds out an arm, "Get inside. You're still my gift."

With silence I walk back in, Skye at my back.

I stop a few steps within the residence as Skye slams the door shut behind me.

"Are you loyal to Wolf Dominion?" Raygar asks as he drinks by the dresser, glaring at me.

Skye, while behind, places his hands under my shoulder armour – and immediately starts clicking it off as the Sunblast rattles and shakes the glass.

"I am only loyal to Wolf Dominion," I state hard and fast, while looking toward Vastian, who is also grabbing a drink by Ray and cracking his neck as if to prepare for something.

Arrogance starts to permeate the air. Especially behind me.

While Skye is undressing me from the back, starting on my breast armour.

I inhale sharp as I try to remain still as his hands glide over the latches, pulling them apart, loosening my protection.

I try to keep my breathing steady.

"Do all of you only ever think about fucking?" I whisper the accusation, glaring at a sly Raygar, then Vastian – and not bothering to turn to Skye. He knows it's for him too.

Skye is only too happy to answer – knowing I am the one who begged for it on the balcony and was pretending to place the blame all on them.

"I only care about teaching a Luna what it means, to be her," Skye drops my last bit of armour from on top, and it rings loud as it hits the Solividian floor. I slowly place my hands over my cold breasts, from their combined stares. Skye remains behind me and his shadow subverts me with the sun, as he grabs the nape of my neck, applying tough pressure. He commands in an infamous death drawl you didn't ignore, "You only fuck us. Submit."