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With this Hand, I shall Crush the Heavens

[ 我用这只手抓住天堂的阴茎 ] These hands with which I intend to grasp! Daring to tear down heavens will! Nothing can stop my ascent!

VenerableAutist · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
14 Chs

Chapter 4 - I pay respects to the teachings of Confucius

The giant palm pressing down on Pàng Zi dissipated. It was then an old man dressed in a black garb descended from the sky. His gray beard swayed in the torrential winds. His eyes emitted an intent that seemed to pierce all who would meet his gaze. A single character, 杀 "kill", flashed the moment Sean's eyes came into contact with the elder's being. Sword dao scattered about the air, and it was then Sean realized he had been caught in the elder's net the moment the man descended. Sword dao, with mere intent, wisps of air could be formed into sharp blades. Beads of rain could be sharpened into peerless spears. With such mastery, only an equal amount of sheer concentration and blind faith in one's own abilities would remain unaffected by such domineering presence.

Against this elder's peerless dao, Sean, with sweat pouring down his temples, uttered, "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others, Amitābha."

That's right. Normally, it would be impossible for anyone to match an elder's dao, and it was just that. Sean was beneath just anyone. His faith was shallow, his understanding lacking, and his enlightenment nonexistent. However, that did not mean he was ignorant. Why use his own beliefs when he can simply use another's! During his middle school years, his strict teacher had carefully instilled into him the glorious teachings of the people's republic of China, as well as the wisdom of Confucius!

The elder was taken aback.

[What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others!]

Such simple words, yet they contained such profound wisdom! What kind of life must this youth have had to have uttered words with such sorrow and melancholy?! The passion behind this dao; a lifetime of studying universal laws could not compare! Who is this young man, to have such insight into the nature of the world itself?!

The youth continued, "The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his action, Amitābha."

"Umph-" Blood spurted out of Fǎ Shù's nostrils. Such profound words; how could the mere utterance of such prose shed so much light on the universal dao? Like a child learning to walk, like a dog experiencing the ocean for the first time, the elder could feel within himself raw emotions the likes of which he had not felt in so long. Not since he was but a disciple did he feel such profound truths being uttered by a grandmaster. He remembered his teacher, whom he had long forgotten. The days which a loving hand once held him and guided him along.

Seeing the fruits of his success, Sean feigned a look of disappointment and uttered, "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand, Amitābha."

"AHHHHH!" Elder Fǎ Shù collapsed onto the ground and began convulsing, "a hidden expert, unmatched beneath the heavens. Forgive this lowly one for doubting sir's abilities."

Gained 3 Reputation with the Saint Devil runs a Thousand Marathons Sect. Gained 50 EXP.

The youth let out a sigh of relief. In the sky, he imagined the face of Dr. Martin Luther King looking down from above, giving a thumbs up. No wait, it was supposed to be Confucius. The image in the sky was replaced with that of an elderly Chinese man giving a thumbs up. Nevertheless, Sean was grateful for the ancestor's wisdom in the art of dao. He gave a thumbs up to heavens and turned to face the elder convulsing on the ground.

Meanwhile, Pàng Zi had since recovered from the near-impossible feat of defending against an elder's palm strike. He wiped the blood from his chin and made way towards the two, "Indeed it is, Indeed it does! To think a mortal could best the thousand-blades demon of the battlefield, Fǎ Shù, using only dao intent formed by mere words. It seems I have lived my life a fish in a bowl!"

Sean didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. The fucker was walking towards him while still wearing nothing but a loincloth.

Elder Fǎ Shù had also recovered and was struggling to steady himself.

"This lowly one pays respects to great sir!" Fǎ Shù cupped his hands and bowed to Sean, "please allow this lowly one to know the name and affiliation of his benefactor!"

Sean was taken aback, but still replied, "my name is Sean Wu… from Hong Kong."

"Of course! Sun Tian Wu*, how could I have forgotten Hon Kian sect's most infamous expert?! Everyone assumed you had died in the previous hundred-generations war! No wonder I could not feel a shred of internal energy from sir's body. The rumors are true then, the Sword Saint really crippled your cultivation base?!"

Sean was dumbfounded by the old man's ramblings.

The elder continued, "please allow this lowly one to escort the esteemed guest to the Saint Devil walks a Thousand Paths sect. Ah, hold on." Fǎ Shù reached into his sleeve and pulled out what looked to be a compass. "Since we are here, we must visit the Seven Triangulum Star Dew plant. It is my greatest treasure, I have spent a great deal of resources nurturing it. Pàng Zi, you may come, however you must follow my footwork carefully, lest you meet your demise."

This last sentence had Sean shook. One false step would amount to death? Just what kind of amazing plant could cause the second elder of a martial sect to take on such a serious tone? The three of them began their journey through the barren wasteland. Sean took great care to copy Fǎ Shù's footwork. At times, the old man would walk with one heel poised upright toward the sky. At other instances, the three would end up crouch-walk in a circle. Eventually, after the third turn of the corner, Sean began to see a figure far off in the distance.

As the three finally arrived, elder Fǎ Shù stepped forward with a beaming expression, arms raised, and shouted, "here we are! Behold, the Seven Triangulum Star Dew plant!"

Sean closed his eyes. He could feel endless yang energy being exerted by the tree. This must be the heavenly root, unmatched beneath the heavens. Sean opened his arms, basking in the soft glow of pure yang essence. After some time, the youth opened his eyes, ready to receive enlightenment.

[….]

Sean blinked.

[Isn't this an avocado tree?]

Sean wanted to cough up blood. That's an avocado hanging from the branch right there!

[You mean to tell me this fucker laid waste to a domain trying to raise an avocado tree?]

"A magnificent sight, is it not?" Pàng Zi stepped his butt naked ass up from behind Sean and stood beside him. The man stared at the tree with a profound understanding. He closed his eyes and nodded, apparently having found some meaning behind looking at the plant.

Sean turned to look at him with an unsightly expression.

[Put on some fucking clothes, you d*mn exhibitionist!]