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With this Hand, I shall Crush the Heavens

[ 我用这只手抓住天堂的阴茎 ] These hands with which I intend to grasp! Daring to tear down heavens will! Nothing can stop my ascent!

VenerableAutist · Fantasy
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14 Chs

Chapter 14 - Without a doubt, this plan is foolproof

The crowd began hooting and hollering! A bead of sweat formed on Sean Wu's forehead. He didn't want anything to do with these two weirdos. One was in a dress and the other was holding onto street lamp!

[I have to slip into the crowd and get away, somehow.]

Sean tensed his body, he was ready to make a quick break for it! Huángjīn Gāo Wán, the one holding onto the pole and chain narrowed his eyes. It was a two versus one, would he be able to come out unscathed? Wēnhé Huáng Zì, on the other hand, smirked. That arrogant prick, Huángjīn Gāo Wán, was getting into a stance, looks like he's ready for a fight! I will not hold back, then!

"Who gave you permission to fight in my district?!"

Sean looked up. A flying foot hit him square in the face, causing him to topple over and hit the ground. Wēnhé Huáng Zì and Huángjīn Gāo Wán both took a step back. The one standing before them was not someone to be trifled with.

"Does the name, Proctor Ming Xiwei not mean anything to you apes? No fighting in the residential area!!" The voice continued. Lying on the ground, Sean looked up to see a woman with red-hair tied in a ponytail. She had on a white cloak with a golden crest woven on the back. She was a jade beauty with soft jade skin, her twin peaks were like jade hills, her eyes were a beautiful jade green, her teeth were like jade, the hair on her left eyebrow was like jade, the fourth cell located on the midriff nearby column three dash four on the z-axis was like jade, the DNA strand twisting and coiling in her person was like jade, the jade-descriptors that encompassed her entire being was like jade, the jade rocks sitting some hundred miles away not yet mined by humans were like jade, the fucking trees off in the far distance were jade-colored. Need I say more? The woman continued, "Both you clowns come with me! And you, let this be a warning! Don't let me catch you causing trouble again!"

Proctor Ming directed that last sentence at Sean Wu. She grabbed both Huángjīn Gāo Wán and Wēnhé Huáng Zì by the collar and jumped leapt into the sky, leaving behind a crater. Sean didn't know what to say.

[Why me?! I didn't even do anything!]

下一章

….

An incense time later, a stoic Sean Wu was sitting in the very same office where he had been earlier that afternoon. The male clerk sitting in front of him raised an eyebrow.

"You'd like to request a name change?"

"Yes, I misspoke during our first meeting."

"I see. What would you like to correct your name to?"

"Sean Wu."

"And you said earlier you misspoke and said your name was Shi Huáng Zì, correct?"

"Yes."

The clerk at the counter blinked. No fucking way this guy misspoke! What part of Sean Wu sounds like Shi Huáng Zì?! The clerk didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. This guy was shameless! How did this guy still have a straight face? Still, the clerk didn't want anything more to do with Sean Wu. He readily approved the change without any issue..

"Thank you for your help. I'll be going now."

"Yeah, don't come back."

….

Sean stood outside the information bureau. With the sun setting, the temperature also rapidly dropped. Sean needed to find a place to stay for the night so he wouldn't wake up the next morning cosplaying as a popsicle.

"A room costs 15 contribution points a night, a meal costs 2 contribution points. I already ate lunch, so if I were to rent a room and eat a meal, that would leave me with… negative 17 points." Sean looked at his fingers. Regardless of how much math he did, he still only had zero contribution points. He wouldn't have been able to afford anything in the first place. It was a fruitless endeavor.

It seemed he would not be able to stay at a nice inn tonight. Sean had to think outside the box this time. The youth rubbed his chin, outside the residential area was a vast wilderness spanning hundreds of thousands of miles. This vast wilderness was still within sect grounds, however it was not under the jurisdiction of the resident proctor. Therefore, any difficulties Sean encountered out there, he would have to deal with himself.

Still, from the guide he had read, Sean knew there a mountain range only two kilometers away. This mountain range contained a great number of undiscovered caves and hidden enclosures that many cultivators frequented. If he arrived there before nightfall, he would be able to take shelter there until morning. Then, when the next day came, he would visit the job board at the center of the residential area plaza and take up some work.

"A foolproof plan." Sean smirked. Everything came together perfectly.

下一章

Proctor Ming was not in a good mood. Two months ago when elder Féi Zào Pào offered her the position of head proctor in the residential area, she was ecstatic. The work was supposed to be easy. Surely, cultivators were intelligent enough to act like civilized people, right? That was the thought that passed through her head when she accepted the job. There were about two hundred thousand cultivators living in the residential area at all times, and only one proctor. Surely the sect had taken this into account, right? All she had to do was make sure the exam proceeded without an issue and leave the residents to their own devices, right?

Wrong. The amount of trouble she had to go through every day dealing with these arrogant young masters was ridiculous! You'd think some wuxia-main character would have showed up already and wiped out the lot of them for always talking trash?! You'd think these two grown men wouldn't start an all-out war with one another because some fucking idiot took the wrong seat at a restaurant! Yet here she was again, stuck in an office filling out paperwork because a group of three had decided to start a brawl in the middle of a busy street over some family honor and revenge.

Proctor Ming furrowed her brow, and now there was a distress call coming from the 'neutral zone'. "Tch." Proctor Ming smacked her lips. What kind of moron leaves the safety of the residential area at dusk? That was when majority of demonic beasts woke up and started roaming. "Hey, you two better behave. If I get back and I see any blood, I will beat the two of you senseless!"

Proctor Ming stepped outside her office and donned her cloak. "There had better be a good reason for this."