Chapter 21 -- That Dad, Claude (4)

"I want you to love this child, Your Majesty."

What word other than "nightmare" could explain it? The person he had so desperately kept buried in his memories appeared in his dreams, whispering without end.

"I hope that you can love the precious child I'm leaving you with in the same way that you have loved me."

Upon hearing the voice that he had missed so dearly, Claude laughed.

What a joke. What daughter? Besides, you're dead. You ignored my pleas to stay at my side. You chose to die. Now you're showing up in my dreams asking me for a favor?

It was what Felix had said as well: that the wench called Athanasia was his child with Diana. After she died, that girl was the only proof that Diana had ever existed.

She was asking him to love and accept that wench as his daughter. That girl, who had survived when the person in his dreams did not? It was even more reason not to love her. How could he possibly do that?

Claude spoke coldly to the woman staring back at him.

I will never love that child. Not once have I ever loved her. And I will continue not to love her. So, if you're that worried about her, you should just watch over her as a ghost.

If he had actually said this, he wondered if the real thing would have made the same sad expression he saw in his dreams. But he was bitter about the fact that she had died and left him alone. Claude could not speak gently to that woman.

And then, unexpectedly...Diana smiled at him. She smiled as though she knew everything in his heart. It would be a lie to say that her expression didn't cause a lump in his throat. But when her figure slowly blurred, nothing mattered to the emperor anymore.

Unconsciously, he reached for the person before his eyes.

Don't go.

The words that flew of his mouth were so urgent, entirely unlike his usual self. This was why Claude hated it, the worthless game of feelings. Those uncontrollable emotions made him feel so powerless that he couldn't stop himself from begging.

But all Diana did was smile gently at him, until she had disappeared. Even after she was gone, he was still reaching out for her in endless longing.

"What was that…?"

When he woke, Claude could not remember his dream. He had the sense that he had dreamed of something, but the breaking of the dawn had banished the memories. All that remained was the tightness in his chest that was making it difficult to breathe.

Claude's headaches continued. Despite the pain, he committed himself to his work. It was as if he wanted to keep his mind occupied. The emperor worked through the night in his office, afraid of the dream that had made him feel so strange. He did not want to set foot in his bedroom.

Naturally, this meant that he was sleeping very little. Felix would nag at Claude to go for a walk and get some fresh air. But, after encountering the girl who was pretending to be his daughter, he had refused to leave the Garnet Palace. He became more and more irritable as time went on. On the day of the banquet, all he could think about was his throbbing head, and wonder to himself when the stupid party would end.

"By the way, Your Majesty, did Princess Athanasia not attend the banquet today? I expected to see the two of you, as captivating as you were during her debutante. Haha!"

While the words were in no way offensive, Claude reacted to the extreme. Something snapped in him. And yet, once again, he was unable to kill the girl. It was ridiculous.

Killing her?

In truth, Claude felt sick any time he threw hateful words to the girl before him. Instead of joy at the sight of her kneeling, as he had ordered, it made him nervous. The emperor felt as though he'd made a huge mistake.

And that was precisely why he was so cruel to her.

"Get that wench out of my sight, immediately."

Claude realized that, for all his bravado, he was not prepared to kill her.

"There is no need to order them. I will leave of my own free will."

No. Killing her wasn't something he could prepare himself for.

"Glory and blessings to Obelia's Sun. Happy birthday from the bottom of my heart, Your Majesty."

It appeared that she had not forgotten what Claude said: not to call him "Dad." But when he noticed this change, it was as if a rock had been dropped on his heart. Silent, he stared breathlessly at the girl's retreating figure.

After the banquet ended, the emperor returned to his office and furiously swept everything off his desk. Claude felt as though he was growing a little crazier every day. He had a neverending sense that he was trying to remember something, but that something would not come to his mind no matter how hard he tried.

Now, he was unable to close his eyes even for a second.