Regrets and Hope

Evelyn slept soundly that night, most likely due to the pain medication. She woke up later that morning as she was no longer able to go out for her morning run. She did her morning routine and put on her attire for that day.

She checked in on Phoenix but she was sound asleep in bed. She closed the door just as she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly went to the door and hoped that it wouldn't wake up her new roommate.

It was Jinhai at the door. She let him in and he gave her a kiss on the cheek before entering the house.

Evelyn stepped away to make sure that Phoenix was still sleeping. A quick peek confirmed that she hadn't stirred. Relieved, she went back to the kitchen where Jinhai had laid out breakfast for them. It was healthy and nutritious just as the doctor ordered.

Coffee and Garfield were roaming the apartment. Coffee seemed to develop a protective stance when it came to Evelyn. He had barely left her side, since the shooting two days ago. Evelyn could hardly blame him though. Garfield quietly ate his food without a care in the world.

After they ate Jinhai walked with her downstairs. Driver Chung opened the car door for her.

"Are you coming with me today?" she asked as she turned to him. He shook his head and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Not today," he said. She gave a small pout but quickly smiled at him. "Okay, have a good day at work," she said.

"You too," he responded. He kissed her forehead and she ducked in to get into the car.

Evelyn turned around and held up a hand to wave at Jinhai, who stood in the same spot as Driver Chung drove them away.

Phoenix weighed heavily on Evelyn's mind since yesterday. She reached for her phone and pulled it out of her pocket.

Evelyn: Mei Mei, I need a favor.

Instead of a text she got a call from Chloe.

"Good morning," Evelyn answered the phone. "Good morning, Jie Jie," Chloe replied.

"What's up?" Chloe asked. "What are you doing today?" Evelyn asked.

"Uh, I was going to pick up things for the party tomorrow," Chloe answered. "Are you going with Phoenix?" Evelyn asked.

"I wasn't planning on it, why?" Chloe asked.

"I think it would be good for Phoenix to go out and do things today. Can you take her with you?" Evelyn asked.

"Uh sure, is everything okay?" Chloe asked. "I hope so," Evelyn answered. She knew it wasn't her place to reveal what happened between Phoenix and Zain so Evelyn refrained.

"She's stressed about the whole situation that's happening. I think it will be good for her to go out and do something fun instead of staying home or going to work," Evelyn said.

"Okay, I guess I'll just figure out something else to do in the morning then," Chloe said. Evelyn chuckled into her mind. Her family was full of early risers. Working in the corporate world it required early mornings and late nights.

As a fashion student, Chloe should be a night owl but she took after the rest of her family. Phoenix however liked to stay up late, and didn't wake up early. During her days in university, she didn't wake up until at least noon every day.

"One more thing, please don't tell her I put you up to this," Evelyn made her little sister promise.

They hung up and Driver Chung spoke up. "Is Ms. Xu okay?" Evelyn glanced up.

"She's okay, just a rough night," Evelyn answered. Driver Chung nodded.

Evelyn then texted Jinhai.

Evelyn: Does Zain have a lunch appointment?"

Jinhai: One second.

After a couple of minutes he replied back.

Jinhai: He is in the office all day.

Evelyn: Great, he'll be having lunch with me.

Jinhai: should I be concerned that you're having lunch with my brother instead of me?

Evelyn: it's a completely innocent date ;)

Her phone rang and she smirked.

"Date?" Jinhai asked. Evelyn laughed. If she didn't know any better she would think Jinhai was jealous. "Innocent," she emphasized.

"Uh huh. Are you working late again?" he asked her. "I don't think so," she replied.

"You know how it is. It depends on the day," she said "I do know how it is. Delegate. You need to rest," he said.

"Okay," she said. "I'll see you later," he said.

"Okay," she replied. They hung up and the car pulled into the garage.

Evelyn went about her day. She had the receptionist screen her calls more carefully so that yesterday's incident wouldn't happen again. The last thing she wanted was to here from her good for nothing soon-to-be ex husband.

John adapted fairly well to the new environment and Evelyn couldn't be happier about that. She had worried that he wouldn't because of how long he had spent out of the field.

Evelyn worked hard all morning and occasionally glanced at the clock. She was anxious to speak with Zain. Her mind wandered back to her conversation with Phoenix last night and all the things that she knew about two very close people in her life.

She tried to remember how they were with each other when they were all together. Evelyn remembered when she had introduced them. It was right after that incident with the bully.

Phoenix's parents had been too busy to celebrate her birthday with her so Evelyn made it a point to do something for her. Evelyn had said that tenth birthdays were special. Evelyn's had been a grand affair and she wanted to make sure that Phoenix had a memorable one as well.

Evelyn introduced her to the Li brothers and warned them to be on their best behavior. Zain had warmed up to her right away, but that wasn't out of his character. He was a ray of sunshine compared to his brother's icy personality.

Zain had tugged on her hair and Phoenix had chased him. He let her catch him and then he gave her a present. It was a silly gift. None of them had expected to celebrate a birthday so they had given her random things.

Evelyn had given her a bracelet that she had bought for herself. Jinhai gave her a fancy Li Corp pen. Zain had given her his jacket. He had called it his lucky jacket and that he hoped it would be her good luck charm. It was way too big on Phoenix but she had kept it on and smiled happily.

Evelyn wondered if that was when it had started. But Phoenix had never given any indication that she and Zain shared more than a friend's relationship with one another.

In later years, they seemed the same. Maybe they were used to it. They used to pretend they didn't know each other intimately. Later they pretended like they were still on speaking terms. Evelyn felt her heart clench for Phoenix. She knew how hard it was to lock your feelings for the one you care for.

How much it hurt to pretend that their smile wasn't infectious and their laughter wasn't the only thing that you wanted to hear. It hurts to feign indifference to the one who makes you feel everything. She had done it and she had almost lost Jinhai.

No matter what happened she was grateful that she no longer had to pretend. She knew that Jinhai loved her. Something she had yet to declare to Jinhai. But she knew that they would get there.

There was so much pain between Phoenix and Zain. They needed outside interference if they will ever get their happily ever after together. Phoenix's heart had been crushed and she hid it behind an impenetrable wall. A wall that shouldn't exist.

Soon the time finally showed a decent time for lunch. Evelyn ordered food and one of the bodyguards went to pick it up. She was still being monitored and she couldn't complain. She knew it was safer this way. Driver Chung drove her to Li Corp where Jinhai made sure she was allowed entry without any problems.

Evelyn knocked on Zain's door. After a moment the door buzzed to let her know that he had unlocked it from the inside. She pushed the door open and entered cautiously. She wasn't sure what kind of mood Zain would be in.

Zain was sitting behind his desk as he typed away on his computer. Evelyn didn't know why she was surprised. She thought that now that she knew about it, everything would be different. But she should have known better.

Zain had spent nearly a decade hiding his relationship with Phoenix. Just because Phoenix had finally broken down, didn't mean that Zain did.

Sure enough, when Zain saw who was at his door, he stood up and pasted a bright smile on his face. Evelyn didn't return his enthusiastic greeting but she held up the bag of food.

"Have you eaten yet?" Evelyn asked him. He shook his head and took the bag from her. He set it down on the coffee table and gestured for her to take a seat on the couch. He took the food out and laid it out on the table.

"Braised pork belly, beef chow fun, tea eggs, and winter melon soup?" Zain said. "These are all my favorites!" Zain beamed. Evelyn smiled back.

"Dig in," she said. So he did, They began to eat in amicable silence. Evelyn started with the soup before moving on to the other dishes. When they finished he sat back and laid a hand on his stomach.

"That was delicious!" Zain proclaimed. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," Evelyn said as she began to clean up. She put the empty containers back into the bags and tied it up.

"So what's the occasion," Zain said as he sat up and turned to her.

"I came to talk," Evelyn said. "About what?" Zain asked. "What happened between you and Phoenix?" Evelyn asked. She knew it would be better to be straight forward.

Zain stopped moving as he regarded her. She gave him a sincere stare. If it had been anyone else, Evelyn would have put a bounty on the guy's head. But this was Zain, the first true friend that she had made in her life.

"What did she tell you?" he answered her in a quiet voice. Evelyn took it as a good sign that he didn't deny any involvement.

"I want to hear your version of events," Evelyn replied. "Did you know? Did you know that she loved me?" he asked her.

"No. She never told me," Evelyn said. He took a deep breath. Zain got up and went to stand behind his desk with his back to her. He stared out the window at something unseen.

"I really messed things up, Evelyn," he said to her. "She hates me now." Evelyn bit her lip. She was suddenly unsure if this had been a good idea.

She had never seen Zain act this way. He sounded so serious without a hint of his usual levity. There was shame, guilt, and remorse in his voice. But there was something else, a deep sadness. It was resigned, and absolute.

"You're in love with her," Evelyn stated. He turned back around to face her. She met his eyes across the room. "Yes," it was a simple answer.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. And I didn't mean to drive such a big wedge between us. I panicked," he said. Zain turned back around as he continued. Evelyn moved to stand silently on the other side of his desk.

"We were in High School, we had started to hang out. It was actually after your mother passed away. You didn't want to hang out, and Jinhai was looking after you. So then Phoenix and I started to hang out," he said. Evelyn remembered, she had spent time mourning her mother with her family. No wonder Phoenix never told her.

"We discovered that we had a lot in common. We did them together. It wasn't until my senior year when I really began to see her differently. Or I should say admitted that I did. But I was afraid," Zain kept his back to Evelyn. Evelyn remained silent as she listened to him.

"You know that my family always wanted me to join the business and one day help Jinhai run it," he turned and sat down in his chair. He rested his clasped hands against his lips.

"Yes," Evelyn said softly. She quietly took the seat in front of him. "Well, I wanted to become a culinary chef," he said.

"But you didn't," Evelyn stated. "No, I didn't. I never even told my family that that was what I wanted to do," Zain said.

"It was only with Phoenix that I was able to be myself. I never had to pretend to be anyone or anything else," he glanced down at the table.

"Then one night, we both ended up drunk. And we- we- we had sex," he stuttered. "The next morning I woke up and panicked. I thought she would regret it. That she would hate me," he said. "So you beat her to the punch?" Evelyn asked. There wasn't judgement in her voice.

He nodded. "I realize now how stupid it was. She won't even let me explain," he said.

"I tried, but she's been dodging me for years. We put up a good front in front of everyone but nothing was the same," he said. "She won't talk to me unless we're all hanging out. Even then, its not what it used to be."

It became quiet as Zain sat there with his head on his hands. Evelyn stared sympathetically at the top of his head.

"She still cares about you," Evelyn said softly. "Does she?" he asked cynically.

"You broke her heart, Zain. That doesn't mean she stopped caring about you. She just no longer knows how to face you," Evelyn answered.

"Is that somehow better?" Zain asked. "No," she answered.

"But are you ready to give up on her?" she asked. "Of course not," he answered. He looked at her like that was a stupid question.

"Then don't stop making the effort. She's finally coming to terms with it," Evelyn said. "What do you mean?" Zain asked.

"I think she hasn't processed it all these years. Like she didn't allow herself to really process what happened and move passed it. I don't think she was ready to," Evelyn said. Zain looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language.

Which was funny because they both actually spoke several languages: Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Japenese, English and French. It was the language that they would need in the business world. So they had been forced to learn it.

Evelyn laughed at his reaction. "I mean that she wasn't ready to really think about what happened. Like for me, after I lost my baby, I wasn't ready to talk about it. It made it feel that much more real and permanent. So I didn't talk about it, I moped about, feeling depressed. I felt pain, but it was in an almost dull way. It was like as soon as I said the words, 'I miscarried' I could feel a thousand knives pierce my body," she tried to explain.

"So, you mean she wasn't ready to talk about it because that would hurt more?" Zain asked. "So you mean to say she was avoiding it." Evelyn nodded. It was the best she could do to explain.

"So what should I do?" he asked her. "I think she needs a bit more time. But don't stop being there. Make her feel like she can actually trust you to be there," she answered.

"Is that what it was like for you and Jinhai?" he asked. "It's a little different. We don't have bad blood between us. But we had our own obstacles," she said.

"You seemed to accept him rather quickly," he stated. She gave a wry smile.

"It was always bad timing for us. It may seem too fast or too early, but Jinahi and I belong together. After everything, I don't see a point in waiting. Life is incredibly short," Evelyn said.

"Lucky bastard. I don't know if I'd prefer your story to mine. For five years, he knew you were with Shawn. He lived with the regret of never taking a chance. I had my chance and I wasted it," Zain said. "It's not over. Come over early tomorrow," Evelyn said.

"For what?" he asked. "House warming. You can help set up. After all, I'm kind of disabled," she said as she lifted her left elbow.

"Okay," he said as they stood up. He walked her to the door. Before he opened the door, she turned to give him a quick hug. They didn't say anything but they didn't have to. He squeezed her back and then she turned to leave.

Evelyn went to Jinhai's office and he opened the door for her. Once the door was closed, she attacked him. She wrapped her good arm around him and kissed him soundly.

"Omf," he said. He kissed her back and she only pulled away when they were both out of breath.

"What was that for?" he asked her. "I have to go back, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad we didn't waste any more time," she answered. He smiled down at her and kissed her softly.

"Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you?" he asked. "Not once," she answered with a bright smile of her own.

"Well, I am the luckiest man on Earth," he said. "I'm the lucky one," she answered. She raised up on her tippy-toes. Then she turned and slipped out the door. She made it down to the private garage where Driver Chung was waiting for her.

She felt a little lighter since last night. There was hope for Phoenix and Zain yet!