Weak

Synopsis:

Because, above all they said, Bakugou Katsuki was weak like any other.

...

..

.

"I should be strong

But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? "

Weak - AJR

The brightness of the cell phone screen - which, even at the very least, continued to fulfill its role of being irritating and inconvenient - blinded my eyes. I hung up and turned on the screen just to check my fate again. The day didn't change, it was really today. Five-thirty in the morning - it may even be in the morning, but I want it to be dawn and only my opinion matters - on the twentieth of April.

Damn my birthday.

I hung up the phone again, sighed irritably and ruffled my hair. It's not like I hated having a birthday - I got presents and had extra attention, who hates that? Apart from the attention, I even like gifts and extra flattery - but there were certain things that I didn't like to remember. Except, of course, the drug in my mind always drives me to do it right when I want to forget.

I am referring to my dear and beloved fourth birthday. I was just a tantrum brat who dreamed of being like All Might - maybe I still dream about it. I was with the kindergarten class when I felt strange things happening in me. It felt like my blood was boiling and that something wanted to break free through the pores of my skin. I, a miserable brat, just wanted to understand what was going on; then, that happened.

An explosion. Not exactly one, but several explosive sparks came out of my hand and lit up my eyes. It was the awakening of my quirk, my individuality, the result of the combination of glycerin - of my old woman - and the oxidative sweat - of my old man - the Explosion. I listened to the children, as brats as I, congratulating myself and envying my ability. Our caregivers only lacked reverence in front of me because of my powerful individuality. Amid so much praise, I could only conclude one thing:

"I finally understand ... I'm amazing and nobody and is more than me!"

Nobody contested me; on the contrary, they approved. I got home and it was the biggest party I had seen in my entire life - not that a four-year-old kid saw much. I thought it would just be happiness ahead, but the challenge came when I went to sleep. Like any child, sleeping late was one of my habits, especially after my old mother / mother released the TV schedule so I could spend more time watching the animated series from All Might. However, that day, I was unable to sleep.

How would someone sleep with the feeling of multiple explosions going on in their head? It felt like they had activated dozens of dynamites in the axons of my neurons and activated them simultaneously. It was a drug; no, torture. I screamed, I waited, I punched my head in an attempt to stop it, but it was no use. I was considering throwing myself out of the bedroom window when my parents came over and hugged me to try to calm me down. My breathing was regulated, but the fucking pain wouldn't go away. What did I have to do to sleep in peace?

After that, I was stressed, very stressed. I couldn't sleep late anymore, because I knew that the pain would come in the middle of the night - in addition to being unhappy, my migraines had an excellent and enviable schedule and organization to fuck with my head. If that were not enough, the dear doctor said that the greater my neural agitation - it reads: the greater your fucking anger - the greater the headache. Look, how wonderful! Soon I, the person who is least stressed in the world. Ah, it was amazing how every detail around me started to irritate me more and more. Why were colorful things so annoying? It seemed that they were constantly mocking me and my suffering.

I hated everything that had color. All.

And if there was anything more colorful than Midoriya Izuku, I really don't know. I didn't hate him because he was weak, a leading zero or because he was a quirkless drug, no. I never cared about that, it was a waste of time. But, if there was one thing that irritated me, it was that look. That damn look.

"You always kept looking 'at me like you were superior, with that fucking look ... even though you're never more than a shit that never had anything!"

The colors always underestimated me, always! In all the moments of my childhood, which I remember, Izuku was always there. He ran after me, flattering me and saying how amazing I was. Even though I knew he wasn't lying - after all, I'm incredible - it always seemed to me that those words were false. I knew the truth from the start, and maybe that's why being a Quirkless had made me a little more relieved.

He managed to be kind and nice to everyone, always going with that annoying smile and full of kindness, winning people around with the damn charisma and warmth. Ah, I hated that kind and superior look. That look that looked so much like's All Might. The look of a true hero, that's what that shitty Deku always had.

Because, deep down, I knew that nerd would become a better hero than me. Whenever I fell, he was there, holding out his hand to me with that damned superior look. It seemed to say: come, I know you need my help. But I didn't need any help! Why didn't he understand? Why, no matter how son of a bitch I was, he always came back? Why did he always come back to show that he was stronger than me and belittle myself with that heroic look?

"It's like all this time you're underestimating me with contempt and really trying to get over me because I knew I could do it! It's that kind of attitude that I can't stand!"

I couldn't let that nerd and the extras in my room shake me. I had to show everyone how much I was superior, how amazing I was and how strong I would be. After all, I had to become the best, like All Might. Regardless of adversity and the powers of my enemies, I should rise above all and win. Even because All Might always wins.

"'You see? All Might is incredible and very strong! No matter how strong the villain is, All Might always wins!"

So, I should become the best hero of all, strong, incredible, feared by the villains and who always wins, like the All Might. Of course, I had to be the only student in that shit school to go to Japan's biggest hero school - and, of course, that was where All Might had studied; Did I say I wanted to be like him? - the U.A.

Ah, but of course the porcelain would want to join the U.A. also, isn't it? Of course yes. We were two All Might fanatics, I expected that from him, but I would never allow that. First, a quirkless would not survive a second within the U.A. Second, unlike his son, Inko-san has always been a person angel and I care a little bit about her not to want to see her sad when her son comes home skinned all right - okay, maybe seeing his son skinned would also make me uncomfortable . Third, I would not allow him to be superior to me in that. No, I had to be the one to go to the U.A ,. no matter what I needed to do.

"As a perfectionist that I am, I will be the only student at this poor municipal school to go to the U .. The only one!"

So, if all my hatred was not enough to know that that nerd wanted - again - to make fun of me, I was attacked. Not attacked, taken hostage by a slimy, cursed monster that literally came out of an old bottle. My friends - maybe not so much - ran and left me alone having to face that thing. At that moment, I felt something that I had never felt before.

I was afraid. No matter how many times I attacked him with my explosions, nothing happened; on the contrary, it seemed that the bastard just had more control over my body while I lost my sanity. I was a complete loser. In addition to just debating me, my attacks destroyed everything around me, which gave even more work to professional heroes whose quirks were not appropriate for that individuality.

I couldn't do anything.

When I thought that everything was lost, when I no longer felt the blood circulating through my head and even less able to move my fingers completely, he appeared. Ah, of course he would be - sometimes, it even seems to me that he is the protagonist of this story. There was Midoriya Izuku, a shitty quirkless, overcoming all barriers while proving that he would be a better hero than me.

Sometimes I feel that if that idiot nerd hadn't thrown his battered backpack at the goo monster, I would have been killed at that moment without anyone who could help me. Maybe, it was just a delusion in my head - I don't doubt it, in fact, I don't think I even reasoned properly so I could conclude something. The fact is that even though he didn't have anything special, he managed to do some shit. And I? What did I do?

Anything!

All Might came out and punched that gooey shit away. From then on, I would be known to everyone as the "explosive boy who was kidnapped by the walking slime". Ah, how I hate that fucking nickname!

Ten months later and the admission test for the U.A. In the written test, I rocked, of course - did I already say I'm awesome? - so I just needed to get the minimum grade on the practical test to pass. But I never admitted to just passing, no; my parents always insisted on teaching me that miserable sentence:

"If you want to be something, let it be the best"

I was the best. Seventy-seven points, first place. While I blew up those damn robots, some people who were doing the test fell and got stuck in the debris caused by the explosions. I could stop what I was doing and help them, couldn't I? But if I did, how many robots would escape? How many villains would win while the hero was distracted? So I didn't help nobody. At that moment, I chose to win.

So, I joined the U.A .. I thought it would be like in the old municipal shit school, where the extras would flatter me and follow me everywhere to increase their popularity. Only, in the biggest professional hero formation school, I was just another student wanting to be a hero. Just one more. Nobody said I was incredible; on the contrary, everyone laughed, made fun of me - who the hell invented the nickname biribinha? - and treated me with disregard. What the fuck was that?

However, even with the damn extras filling my patience, a small group caught my eye - even if I didn't want to, it was impossible to avoid; they were too colorful for me to be able to see them. Four idiots - and a household that was not that stupid - saw in me what no one else saw. A horse - he called himself that - red, an alien - is not a slut - pink, a Pikachu - literally -, a masking tape and an aunt with headphones. That's how Bakusquad was born.

Before the birth of my new gang - which, by the way, was much better than the old one - All Might appeared in the U.A. as our teacher and said that we would have a fight test between pairs. I thought it was fucking cool at first, I was finally going to speak the mouth of those extras that made fun of me with my outbursts. But of course, it wouldn't be easy, would it? Not when the fucking world forces me to fight that fucking nerd.

If there was one thing in Izuku that irritated me, in addition to all the rest of the woes that made it up, it was the fact that I never knew what was going through that mind. Why, he was always smart, even too much than he should be. I knew that in strategy, Deku would always be better than me. That was enough, wasn't it? So why didn't he tell me he had a fucking individuality? Did you hide a quirk from me, childhood friend, so that I would think he was not an obstacle for me? So that I would slouch and he could step on me like he always did? Is that what he wanted ?! Make me an idiot !?

"So you really did acquire an individuality after all, didn't you? You were deceiving me this whole time !?"

In that fight test drug, I lost; I lost to a useless nerd who was supposed to be a quirkless - and a cookie face who always hung out with him. I was whole, standing, but I was the loser. And there was not only that lying Deku, no; there was also a damn half and half that just stepped on the floor and left everyone jaw-dropping with their skills. Everyone was superior to me, with their damned looks that mocked my defeat. Why was it like that?

Why was I the only loser?

After all that shit, they invaded the U.A. - how did they break into the best school of heroes? If you know, tell me the answer, I also wanted to know. We were all separated by a space-time individuality and I ended up stopping in the wreckage of the USJ with the red horse - aka Kirishima shit hair. That worthless guy didn't know how to do anything with his individuality, I had to teach him how to put together the stupidest strategy. It was cool to realize that he admired my intelligence and superiority - at least someone in that place recognized it - but that spiky hair totally lost its points with me when he said I was stressed.

Do I look stressed? (Do not answer).

"It's just that you seemed to be very…, you know? Shine, shine, shineee!"

Time passed and my patience with that bunch of extras just ran out. I was about to blow that room into the air when the news came that the Sports Festival was approaching. Ah, that was the perfect excuse for me to show my skills not only to those damn extras but also to Japan's greatest professional heroes. Certainly, I would have several requests from people begging to have me in their agencies. After all, who wouldn't want to have me as their sidequick?

"I swear I'll be number one. Be good steps to get me to the top."

And the damn festival happened. It was supposed to be cool, I would beat everyone, I would come first and thousands of orders would rain on my table. At least I thought it would be like that.

The shit started in the first stage. It should be easy to go through a race while destroying robots, flying over losers - and wobbly ropes - and passing explosive mines, right? So why was that fifty-fifty shit so irritating that it wouldn't let me win? Why did I feel like I was falling behind? Why - and how - did that Deku pass us by as if it were the easiest thing in the world?

Why were they making fun of me again?

And the second phase, then? Cavalry, more stupid thing. I assembled the team with the best possible strategy to defeat that Deku and the half and half. I only thought about the ten million bandana; I just thought of being the best; I just thought of winning. If it was All Might there, competing, he would be first, wouldn't he?

So, sixteen of us went on to the X1 fights. I fought all kinds of people, but if there was one thing they all had in common, it was the mocking look. First, it was the moon face that never gave up, the stupid little strategy that reminded me of Deku - which was obvious, sure that he was the one who taught her everything; they were friends - and they still wanted me to take it easy. How to fucking take it easy? Would you take it easy on a villain? The goddamned woman just looked like an angel, and maybe, just maybe, she gave me more trouble than I would have liked.

Second, it was the shit hair. I already knew their antics and the whole thing behind that Harden - besides that being a complete head of wind helped me a little. He also had the annoying look of wanting to be superior to me and that he wanted to beat me at any cost. I beat him too, with the right to a beautiful explosion in the tough face. But in spite of the gratuitous mockery, I could not hate him - it was probably a pity for so much brain activity wasted in the accumulation of stupidity.

Third, it was the Jubilee - aka Tokoyami, the revelry of darkness. It wasn't hard to beat him, after all, a shadow doesn't live in the light, right? I would be like that too. It could only be a shadow of what All Might was, but I would overcome it and shine with the light of my victory.

Fourth, the cumulative. That fifty-fifty shit! We were in the final, it was obvious that you would use all your powers to win, right? So why didn't he use the left side against me, but use that shitty Deku? What did Izuku always have that I didn't have? Was it the gentle smile? The colorful air? Spontaneous happiness? The powerful hidden quirk? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT?

"Why don't you use the left side against me? Answer me, half and half! What does that Deku have that I don't have? Don't you recognize my strength? Is that it? FUCK ANSWER ME!"

At the end of the Sports Festival, I came in first. It was what I had promised for those extras and for all citizens of Japan, but why didn't I like it? Why hadn't Todoroki used fire against me? Was it because I wasn't enough? Why did everyone boo at me? Why was I never enough? Why did I feel like shit when I saw that first place medal? Why, even though I won, did I feel like I was the only loser there?

After the tragic Sports Festival, I joined an agency. I thought it would be cool and cool to work with hero number four, Best Jeanist, but in the end it became more of a manners class than an internship. He even cut my fucking hair! And it was still ridiculous. He might be a great hero, but he definitely wasn't a hairdresser.

In fact, it was at this point that Bakusquad really became a squad. We were inseparably strangely fast, but it didn't bother me as much as it should have. Mina, Kaminari, Kirishima and Sero were complete heads of wind, what came in through one ear came out through the other and I was left with the task of trying to put something useful in their heads - in the end, the only one who went to my classes was Kirishima and I never understood why; after all, I'm a great teacher. Jirou, hn, she is quiet, she doesn't give me any trouble and she knows music; is the least irritating of the group.

Everything was happy - too happy - when that happened. The villains who had invaded the USJ appeared exactly in the camp where classes 1-A and 1-B - I hardly mention the extras, I will let them have a prominent line. They had so many damn things to do! So many! But what did they do? They kidnapped me. The same feeling of fear and failure that I had in the attack of the gooey monster had returned. I hate that.

The worst thing is that I was unable to do anything to stop it - again. The attack was so quick and stealthy that I didn't realize it when my body squeezed into a marble. That fucking nerd tried to save me, but I didn't want him to go. I assume to myself that I was worried - if I didn't succeed, what would he do? -; however, above all, I wanted to regain my pride. I needed to win ... just once.

"Don't come, Deku."

The villains trapped me in a chair facing them, forcing me to face their filthy faces. I laugh at the thought that that bastard with hands spread across his body, probably the leader of that league, wanted to lovingly invite me to be part of the wrong side of the thing. I can be stressed, ignorant, self-centered, selfish or whatever, but I'm sure of something: I'm not a villain. I grew up to be a hero who never gives up and who always wins, like the All Might, and that's what I would become. Whatever it takes.

"I can't stand idiots like you who don't go straight to the point. So basically, you're saying: we're going to cause problems, be our partner !. What a fucking joke! I've always admired the deeds All Might s! And no matter what any of you bastards say; nothing will ever change that! "

The heroes came to save me, I knew they would come. That is why I never lost faith in them - not least because, I wanted and would be one in the future. I just wanted to get out of there after blowing up those villains, but they wouldn't even give me an opening. Worst of all was to know that All Might had not defeated the big boss, such as All of One, because I was within the radius of his attack. I was the stone in the way.

That was when those idiots - Deku, Kirishima and Iida - appeared. Normally, I wouldn't take help, but I knew that if I didn't, All Might could lose that fight. I did not want to give more work to my idol, the Symbol of Peace, the greatest example that I have followed throughout my life. So, this time, I accepted the hand that was trying to help me.

Maybe, I really needed help.

Watching All Might had never been so stifling. When my hero's image fell, it was a shock. The real All Might, scrawny and weak, was being shown to everyone in Japan, and why? By my fault. The Peace Symbol was retired that day because of me. We no longer had the hero number for my fucking fault! Why did I just do shit? Why did I always need help? Why was I so weak?

I was brooding over it all night, fighting the headaches and the emptiness I felt. I had gone through everything I went through in the end to be the destroyer of the Peace Symbol. That was what I was. Shit! A complete motherfucker!

Putting the pieces together was not difficult. The power that Izuku mysteriously demonstrated was not his, no; it was All Might! How could that be possible? How could a zero on the left have been recognized by Japan's greatest hero? We admired the same person, I should have been recognized too, right? So, was it my way of admiring that I was wrong? Why was I always wrong? Why, while Deku carried the Peace Symbol inside, did I have to be the bastard who destroyed All Might?

"Why? It was always you who were left behind… why has all this changed now and am I the one who chases you? Shit like you got that power and got stronger. All Might recognized your talent… and even me getting stronger too ... why? why ... why did I have to destroy All Might ?! "

I needed to be sure of everything, sure that that power was not his and that I was stronger than Izuku - I couldn't continue with that damn doubt. So, even though the migraine consumed my head, I called Deku for a night fight. There and now.

And guess what, I was right! That power was not his fucking power, it was All Might's. That is why Deku had risen so much and so quickly in order to pass me, to step on my face as I am sure he always wanted to do. The memories of my past, my childhood, came back with everything with every blow I dealt against that bastard. The words, my feelings, came out unconsciously. I just wanted to dump everything I felt to someone. I didn't want to keep everything for myself anymore. Screaming, punching, crying, that's when I finally felt light.

From the beginning, did I just have to vent?

After the fight, I won; I won the shit that carried the power of my idol. All Might showed up and, instead of lecturing us about the mess, talked to us and opened our minds. That's when I finally understood. A hero like All Might didn't just beat villains, no; he also saved. To fulfill a hero's duty, I had to change. I changed. I chose to win.

Win to save.

The four-day punishment was good for me to reflect on my life, what I was and what I am. Let's face it, I sucked, but what could I do right now? Change my behavior? Ah, fuck it; I am explosive, arrogant and angry, no one can change that about me - migraines that say so. So, I reflected. With small gestures, maybe I could show that I understood All Might's words. I didn't even scream so much - my throat started to hurt - and I didn't even hit my friends' idiots. See, I even mentioned them as friends!

Everyone in that drug room came to occupy an importance in my life that I never thought I would have. From Deku, who has known me since diaper days, to the damn half and half with whom I started to live more after our failure together in the Provisional License test. When the festival happened, I accepted everyone's proposal and went to play as a drummer. From that moment on, I wouldn't kill everyone with my talent, no.

We would kill everyone with our talent.

And now, I'm here; lying in bed at full six o'clock in the morning, reflecting everything that happened. I just wish things had been clear to me from the start. It would be much easier, really. Maybe if I simply vent everything I insisted on keeping inside me, I could have been happier. I wonder what Best Jeanist would think of me now; he would be proud if he were not gone.

I sighed. I just wish he was here so I could finally say what my hero name was. King of Explodo-kills really didn't match someone who won to save, like me. In the end, I wanted his help so he could tell me if the name I had in mind was really the right one. Yes, I am admitting that I need help. Everyone needs it, from the strong to the weak.

Because I knew that, regardless of what they said, I am weak like anyone else. And, damn, how bad is that?

"I'm weak too, you know."

I woke up from my beloved thoughts with the ring of my cell phone. I didn't have to turn on the screen to find out who it was; that song was recognizable from afar. I answered; and shit, I couldn't hide my smile.

- Hi.

- Katsuki, my son, congratulations! - it was my old mother's voice. She is a witch, but, yes, I love her. - Masaru, you old idiot, show up here. It's our son who's having a birthday!

- Hi my son! - ah, my father's soft voice ... - Your mother is missing her hair. - I smiled even more. - She speaks in that angry voice, but you know she loves you, Katsuki.

- Shut up, Masaru! - she screamed all awkwardly. My dad didn't have to say, I knew that witch loved me. - Anyway, we don't want to disturb the morning of the future hero number one, we just stop by to wish you a happy birthday, my ungrateful son. Remember to ask permission to visit your parents at least once!

- Do not arrive soon attacking the boy, Mitsuki ...

- I stopped him! I can say whatever I want!

- Not quite, but ...

How was it possible for me to smile so much just hearing a silly argument between them? I never noticed that I missed my parents so much until I moved to the U.A dorms. I admit that I miss them. No more than that.

- Thank you. - they even stopped fighting. Was it so rare for me to say thank you? - I love you.

- Katsuki ...

- Did he say he loves us, Masaru? - was she crying ?! - Our son said he loves us, help, I think I'm going to pass out. Does this cell record the call? I'll put that as a ringtone right now!

- Less, mother.

- And now he called me mom! What kind of magic do they do in the U.A. Oh dear, did they brainwash Katsuki?

My mom wasn't even dramatic.

We spent five more minutes in that litany of them wanting to know where the real Bakugou Katsuki was - did they even speak that I had been abducted, where have you seen yourself? - until they hung up. I sighed again. The simple conversation with my parents left me so light that I didn't even feel the side pains of nighttime migraines. Today must be the first time that I'm not in a bad mood.

I dressed up and left the room thinking about what I was going to eat at the cafe. I found it strange, it was too quiet. Did those lazy ones still sleep?

I went to the living room and, damn it, what the fuck is this?

- Happy birthday, Bakugou!

They threw a party for me! Not just a simple party, but The Party. It had sweets - and I'm sure it smelled like chocolate and pepper; how they knew I like it… ah, Deku -, snacks, cool balloons and a huge cake that had a statue of me on top. A fucking cake with my face!

If that wasn't the most beautiful cake in the world, I don't know what it is.

- Congratulations, Bakubro! - obviously it was Kirishima. The rest of the squad came close behind, everyone carrying gifts in their hands.

Uh, gifts. Love.

- How did you know today is my fucking birthday?

I even tried to sound angry, but I couldn't.

- Ah, it was intuition - intuition? What a terrible lie, shitty hair.

- We saw the date on the call list - did you? That's why Pikachu is my favorite.

- It does not end the magic of the thing, Kaminari! - don't get involved, alien.

- But hiding Bakugou's things is worse than saying nothing, Mina!

Saw? Even Sero knows ... although this is not good for my image.

- The whole idea was Kirishima and Midoriya. - Jirou took the lead, since she was the most sensible of those idiots. - But we helped with the decoration and Denki and I chose the party playlist.

Aside from being an idiot, choosing music was the only thing that Pikachu knew how to do.

- Thanks - I smiled.

Why are they looking at me with a pan face? Ah, I forgot that Bakugou Katsuki smiling is a rarity.

- BAKUGOU KATSUKI KNOWS TO SMILE!

I did not say?

- It will only happen today, extras, feel flattered. - I approached my cake. It was really beautiful, but it was the size of the nose. - It explodes, doesn't it?

- Who would think of such a thing, Bakugou?

- You, Pikachu de Chernobyl!

- Shit.

The cake exploded five minutes later. It would be beautiful, if it weren't tragic Aizawa-sensei showing up later with brooms to clean up the mess. But despite o, i was happy. Everyone came to congratulate me - everyone, even the little guy who spoke to birds that I always forgot his name and Deku, trembling, but he came - and they filled me with gifts. At that time, I was fine with myself.

I am weak and, like any loser, I had to have support. If my support was those idiotic people in front of me - and my old people, of course; maybe All Might, Aizawa-sensei and Best Jeanist too - so everything was fine. With them, with their help, I didn't seem that weak anymore. We, together, could win.

"Win to save"

"People don't cry because they are weak, but because they have been strong for a long time"

Johnny Depp.