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When Finding "Me" Turns into Finding "You"

Aoi, a male college student who is struggling to find his own identity after succumbing to the pressure of people's expectations, was rejected by his long term crush that broke his heart. But little did he know that after this rejection, things would stir up in his life even more as he met the wonderful and mysterious girl named Yukino.

Ritsuuu · Realistic
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72 Chs

Chapter 6: Lost Passion

Today might be one of those days that I don't want to wake up. If you ask me why, that is because today is our midterm exams. Ugh! I really hate this! Well, I'm to blame since I didn't spare some time for studying. I don't care anymore, in my learning I trust. But I haven't learned much so this might be the end of me.

On my way to university, I bumped into Shin. I guess it's a wrong decision for me to not use my motorbike, I have to save up money. There's a shoe that I would really like to buy so I'll be riding the train for quite some time. 

I guess she's still mad, we're side by side inside the train but she's not even looking at me. She's purposely avoiding making eye contact. 

"Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday. I overreacted a bit"

"A bit?! Well, as long as you understand. I'm sorry as well. I'm just trying to cheer you up"

"Just consult me next time, okay?" 

We had a fist bump after to commemorate that we had made up. We made it a tradition that everytime we fight, we should make up with each other and have a fist bump as a sign of peace between us.

"So? I heard you took Yukino home yesterday?" 

"Yeah, I felt bad that she got dragged into our scuffle." 

"But I also heard that she went home past midnight from her uncle" Shin looked suspicious while giving me a side eye. 

"What?" 

"Nothing, I just think it's unusual for you to hang around with a girl other than me" 

"She's cool so I don't mind hanging out with her. Nothing more, nothing less, so don't worry" 

We arrived at the university and we parted ways, and that's when I realized that I'm doomed. There's only about 30 minutes left before the exams. Is there any way I can cram a bit of knowledge in my brain in this short amount of time? I tried really hard for 30 minutes but it's impossible. I will just accept the fact that I will fail. I know that this too shall pass.

The papers were handed out to us and I'm really glad that I'm not the only one with a devastated face. I looked at Hina and I know from her looks that this exam is a piece of cake to her. She's a genius, and on the contrary, I'm a plebian. But c'mon! This sure is hard. I'll be happy if I get at least 20 percent of these questions right. 

An hour passed quickly and I looked around. Most of the class wore a devastated face just like I expected. Well at least, I didn't think much about it. I guess acceptance is key. O c'mon, I need to get rid of this mindset if I want to pass college. 

We have three exams for today, but in between every exam is a 30 minute break. So I went to the cafeteria to grab some bread and coffee. I sat on a table alone for about five minutes until a certain someone approached me. 

"Yo, you're Aoi right? The one Hina rejected?" 

"Are you picking up a fight?" I answered while wearing the eyes of someone about to kill.

"Yo, chill out man, I'm just here to talk to you a bit. My name's Haruto by the way" 

He sat down right in front of me. I'm so confused since he's smiling at me with sparkling eyes. 

"I finally found you!" 

"Huh?" 

Found me? What does he mean? I don't even know who this guy is. 

"Back in middle school, you joined a writing competition and your story was crowned first place but you didn't show up at the awarding ceremony. I read your work and you really are a good writer."

Ah, I remember now, this guy was there. He was the runner up. I wasn't able to attend because of my parent's divorce. 

"I remember now. So? Why exactly are you looking for me?" 

"Join my writing club!" 

"I politely decline"

"Why? You're such a good writer!"

"Because I don't want to write. Now if you'll excuse me. I have two more exams to take." 

"Anyway, if you change your mind, visit us!"

"I won't"

What a weird kid. 

I gave up writing after starting high school. Why? Because I lost my dedication after being hung up on working hard for soccer just to meet the expectations of those who believe in me and to be able to stand at the top of the social status in our school. All of these got into my head and I neglected writing. When all that soccer thing ended, I tried writing again but I can't anymore. My stories don't resonate with the readers the way it did in the past. It can't even resonate with me. Maybe it's because I decided that I don't deserve to write anymore. I tossed it out of my life once so maybe this is payback. 

The exams ended and I was so exhausted so I sat at the benches on the campus' field to rest. 

"You look like a slob" Said Shin while Yukino is standing behind her smiling and waving at me.

"Yeah, I'm sure I failed all of it. Badly" I answered.

"Come, Yukino said she's going to treat us to something delicious"

"Really?" 

"Yes, since you look like your world's about to end Aoi" Said Yukino

"Where's your motorbike by the way?" Asked Shin.

"I'm saving up for a new shoes"

"Ah, that explains it"

"You two really are close"

"No we're not" Shin and I shouted in unison.