23 Struggle (1/2)

Silence befell the parking house as Karen turned the key around and the engine died.

This early in the morning stood no other vehicles on the floor she parked at, which gave the place an almost eerie vibe.

An emptiness she felt reflected in her thoughts.

She leaned back into the driver's seat, her teary eyes falling on the rearview mirror.

There were still the files in the trunk.

Maybe she should have just put them in her old place, together with all the clothes she dumped there.

Not like she was sure she still wanted the job...

Reminded of the topic, she felt for her phone, eager to know if Stephanie had already given her an update, only to notice its absence.

She must have forgotten it.

Both of Karen's hands gripped the steering wheel before she dropped her head on it.

"Why? Why any of this?"

Her words felt more like a plea than a question sent to the universe itself.

A place that had granted her all the problems at once.

But why?

What had she done to deserve this?

Karen's fingers clutched tighter to the leather wheel to stop them from shaking.

Why did she even come to work?

She couldn't bear to see him here either, or anyone, for that matter.

Yet she couldn't escape it...

Not the memories, the picture, or screams.

Not the image of the man she had left behind.

The contradiction between them.

And neither the chaos in her mind.

Karen's eyes darted to the clock of the car.

It was still half an hour before she could go to work.

An eternity left by herself...

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A sudden knock against the window of her car pulled Karen back into reality.

Disoriented after falling asleep, her head rose with an erratic motion, only to meet Warren on eye-level as he bowed beside the vehicle.

His hand continued to tap against the glass while he gestured her to lower the window.

An indifferent expression on his face.

As surprised as she was, Karren still followed the plea.

"Warren? What the fuck are you doing here?"

His wild brows dropped in response, a dead stare in his eyes.

"I could ask you the same, Miller. That's not your car."

He was right.

Distracted only for a moment, she had almost forgotten why she was here.

Now that she thought about it, her attention turned away from Warren, back to the nightmare of her life.

Karen's hands cramped around the steering wheel, her head tilted forward, staring to the ground.

"I'd rather not…"

Before she could finish her sentence, snapped Warren his fingers in front of her face.

"Don't bother me with details. I had enough of those already."

Still somewhat dizzy from her brief nap, Karen twitched back upright.

Warren had opened the driver's door in the meantime and leaned against the car.

She tried to stutter a question, confused by the sudden turn of events.

"Wait what? How?"

Only for him to roll his eyes.

"Who did you think Sebastian would ask for a ride?"

The mention alone made her shift around in search of him, her unfocused eyes darting through the windows without finding rest.

But the parking garage was still eerily empty.

To think about him was painful. The look in his eyes, while in the dream or back in the hallway, she couldn't see him now.

"Where is he? What are you two doing here?"

Her alerted reaction seemed to annoy Warren, who gnashed his teeth in response.

"I am here to help you. Sebastian… I couldn't care less, not after he chewed my ears off."

Relieved for the moment, Karen fell back into her seat, her fingers tracing the now warm leather of the steering wheel, in search of a solution.

"Help? Why? What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be like… asleep? Or at School?"

Still looking down at her, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Not until my classes start and yes, I am here to help you, or… maybe rather myself..."

Warren scratched the thick beard that covered most of his face as he mumbled the last words.

"Not like I had anything better to do. Every moment away from home is a gift."

The mention just reminded her of the dust filled house that waited for her, empty and cold, since she had forgotten to turn the heater on as she left.

Not like that was his problem.

"What do you mean by help? I'm fine. Really. Just prepare your lessons, you're only wasting time here…"

She half expected him to leave, already feeling the dread at the edge of her mind return.

But like each moment she seemed to drift away, so did Warren this time as well, interrupt her train of thoughts by slapping the chassis.

"I can see that…"

The loud noise echoed on the empty floor, but it surely worked to get her attention once more.

She could barely hide the twitch or the angry look she threw him.

In a rather unexpected reaction, raised Warren his hands in defense while continuing.

"Look, I don't care what's wrong, but it's obvious that you're not fine."

That he dismissed the reason for her predicament only added to her confusion, yet he didn't stop there.

"And you know as well as I that I'm not here to listen"

Now she knew why he had opened the door, and the way he stood in it made it impossible to slam it in front of him.

"Why then? Just leave me alone…"

Her voice felt bitter as she stared at him through squinted eyes.

For a moment, she thought of simply driving away.

That was until she saw her keys had disappeared from the ignition, instead dangling from Warren's fingers.

They slipped into his pants when he saw the surprise on her face.

"Because being alone is the worst you could do right now."

It felt almost like back during her training.

As absent-minded as she was, he had outplayed her completely, just like he had always done with any of the recruits.

To think she still fell for it…

Karen let go of the steering wheel, her knuckles still white from the intense grip.

"What should I do then?"

Her eyes on the steering wheel, and her back hunched, she waited for an answer.

"Preferably, talk with someone."

Warren stopped scratching his face as soon as she turned around to look at him.

"I didn't mean with me."

His brows furrowed further when she opened her mouth, only to close it again.

The knot in her throat grew when she broke eye contact.

"Obviously"

She could hear Warren growl in frustration before he pushed himself away from the car.

"And then you should also not lock yourself up in a car, alone with your thoughts the whole day. Keep yourself occupied, busy."

A piece of advice that was easier said than done.

Wherever she tried to aim her thoughts at, the entire ordeal kept lingering over her like a dark cloud, ready to drop more worries on her head.

Or always the same…

"But what am I supposed to do, then?"

Almost hidden by Warren's beard glowed a rare and mischievous smile as he answered.

"To be frank, I know the perfect activity for you."

In one fluid motion picked he a file from behind his back and threw it into her lap.

Karen opened the cover, recognizing Jacob and his friends immediately.

"Here. Read the files, work out a training program and meet me after school in the gym. Should occupy you plenty, to deal with those."

A painful smile flashed on her face, unable to tell if she could even take any work related task at the moment.

"The trainer job… I don't even know if Stephanie will allow me to begin with that today…"

Her eyes darted to Warren, who just replied the look.

"Why wouldn't she?"

She swallowed her answer, knowing well that he didn't want to hear the story. He never liked excuses, but what else could she give?

Karen closed the file, running with the tip of her finger over the carton.

"Because of everything that happened… Diego put me probably already out of commission."

Warren dismissed the notion with an audible snort.

"Why that? Because of your little mishap during interrogation yesterday?"

Both of her ears stood up at the mention.

"Wait, you know of that?"

His shoes scrubbed against the hard asphalt while he ground his teeth.

"I thought I already told you! Sebastian chewed my ears off. Why else would I even show up here to help you, except for an actual trauma that made you run away in the middle of the night…"

The act made her speechless for a moment, before a weight fell from her shoulders.

She couldn't help but smile.

"I… thank you… I guess?"

Warren had almost turned his back to her, his pride still having the better of him.

Yet Karen knew he cared.

The moment ended as suddenly as it came, when he threw her the keys.

"Don't mention it. Training isn't ever really done, even when your students look like adults."