17 Chapter 17// Beach Episode Part 1

"Since Aki has been healed and all.....it's time for vacation!" Makarov cheered along with hyper guild members.

"Hell yeah!!!", Natsu put his arm on Aki's shoulder and smiled, "Isn't that great, Aki?"

Aki sweatdropped and sid-eyed the mountain heaps of paperwork, "Ha..haha...it sure is."

Suddenly, Aki's line of sight was covered by a big bosom. Aki looked up and his heterochromia eyes made eye contact with Lucy's.

Lucy averted her eyes and squeezed the corner of her skirt. Only a small voice came out of a blushing girl, "You..you'll come together with us, right?"

'Oh dear me'

'Tch blondie'

'...'

Aki can feel Natsu's hand tightening around his shoulder. Aki glanced at Natus and then at Lucy. Realization hit Aki's eyes in just a few seconds. He decided it was better for him to keep his mouth shut in this situation and feign innocence.

Luckily, Grey without meaning to or meaning to, indirectly shrugged off Natsu's form that was bear-hugging him from the side.

Soon, the two were engaged in the childish squabble for the nth time.

"So...", Lucy trailed off. Everyone present in the hall looked simultaneously together at Aki.

Aki opened his mouth. Thousands of reasonable reasons came across Aki's mind in this spilt second. Just as he was intending to speak, a firm female voice traveled across the hall.

"Of course he is! It is fairy tail members bonding time! Aki is ours! I..I mean he is one of the fairy tail's members! It is obvious he would be there!"

Aki wisely closed his mouth.

'Alright then.'

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Aki was in the changing room. In front of him was a mirror attached to the wall.

He can clearly see his whole form and imperfections across his body.

Right now, he was torn between whether to match his sky-blue swimming trunk with a matching shirt or decide to hell with all and not wear any shirt at all.

Come to think of it, he has never gone on vacation with any of his guild members these past two years. It is rare that he personally took a vacation, most of the time, it was forced upon him, and even if he does, it was always only him and him alone.

He never felt lonely though.

He looked down and traced the bumpy scars over his heart as if gently consoling them. With the scars he woke up from when he just transmigrated and the wounds the Phantom guild master induced and the various injuries he got from past missions...he looked extremely hideous to say the least.

After all, the wounds and injuries may heal but the scars remain to tell tales.

He felt extremely disgusted with himself. He wondered will others feel that way too if they saw this abomination? He absentmindedly wondered. What makes them like him in the first place? Is it his face? No way it is his personality. It is boring as hell.

It might be good for them if they back out when they saw his scars. After all, he was not the innocent little white flower that need protection under a glass cage.

The scars remain to tell tales.

He was no longer innocent.

He should chip away their affection little by little before it is too late. Because it might be difficult for them to cope when they love him too much if..no when he finally departed from this world.

These days, it is increasingly becoming more and more difficult to keep on breathing, keep on living, keep on survivng.

There's no drive, no purpose to keep on struggling with so-called life.

A whisper in the air told him he doesn't deserve to live. He agreed with that voice.

The only thing that stopped him from giving everything up right now and then was... the people he call friends.

He was afraid they would be sad because of him, wasted their tears because of the likes of him. He doesn't deserve such noble sentiments.

Before he leaves, he should make them hate him, loathe him, despise him. So when he finally passed away, they can look at his corpse and speak at it with relish;

"Good riddance."

Aki felt out of breath. It's like he was drowning in the sea with chains trapping him.

"C.cough..cough.."

Aki bent down and cover his mouth with one hand and the other hand propped at himself with the support of the mirror.

After considerable seconds passed, Aki looked in front and glanced at himself in the mirror.

Pathetic.

He traced his pale complexion across the mirror. Streaks of red blood covered half of his face.

Finally, he laughed and laughed and laughed...and cried. Tears strimmed down from his duo-colored eyes.

He huddled in the corner and buried his head deep under his arms. After seconds and minutes passed, with only him and his shadow accompanying him inside the enclosed space, he whispered to the wind;

"..help me.."

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