1 Chapter 1

At first, I thought the reason why father suddenly changed was because he can't move on from the death of my mother. I was three years old when the incident happened.

Mother was on her way to a friend's mansion when they were ambushed by bandits and forced off a cliff, resulting in their inevitable death.

At the age of three, I lost my mother, who adored me, and my father. I recall constantly being in between their beds, holding them as I slept peacefully in their warmth.

At the age of five, I started to learn how to read and write, no one tutored me beside our butler, since father doesn't care about me anymore. He always ignored me whenever we passed by one another, yet I still cared for him, even if it left me scarred.

"Father! I brought you tea! I brewed it myself with the help of our maid!" The 7 year old me exclaimed as soon as I entered his office. As usual, he was preoccupied with his paperworks and completely ignored his only daughter.

I approached him holding the cup of tea when he suddenly pushed my hand away, causing the tea to spill all over my hand and my dress. The cup fell on the floor causing it to shatter. The tea was smoking hot causing my arms to be burned.

"Didn't I tell you not to bother me?!" He yelled.

For a second, I thought I saw a glimpse of worry, but I guess I was mistaken. If he was concerned, he would have taken care of me as soon as the tea spilled on me and not yelled at me for being a burden to him.

My hands were trembling as my hand started to hurt. I tried my best suppressing my tears.

I picked up the shattered pieces of the cup with my bare hands, still trembling. He continued to peruse his papers while completely ignoring me.

"I'll be back to wipe the floor, and please accept my apologies for invading your office." I wasn't looking at him, but rather at my trembling hands. I dashed out of his office and into the kitchen, where a few servants awaited me.

"Young lady? What happened?!" The chef approached me and snatched the shattered fragments of the tea cup from my grasp. My eyes burned as the chef stared at me with concern in his eyes.

At that point, I couldn't hold back my feelings and burst into sobs in front of them. My maid, Lucy hugged me as she caressed my back, comforting me.

"Shh... It's alright. Everyone makes a mistake, my lady, it's unavoidable." Lucy smiled at me as she patted my hair. She also wiped my tears as they streamed down my cheeks, "Your hands are hot, my lady, did the tea spill on you?"

I nodded, it hurts so much. It does.

"Ava, could you go get some ointments and bandages?" The butler requested as soon as he approached me, "Does it hurt a lot, my lady?"

I nodded as I closed my eyes while they carefully examined my hand for burns.

"I have to go back and wipe the floor, father will get mad at me if I don't," I repeatedly wiped my tears, but it just kept on falling as I felt the burn in my hands.

It hurts a lot.

"I'll clean it up for you, my lady, so please stay here and get treated," The butler said and walked away. Perhaps he's heading to father's office to wipe the spilt tea I caused.

Every time my father scolded me, I always asked myself,

What did I do wrong for father to get mad at me this much? Am I the reason my mother died? Or it just happened that Father lost his fondness for me?

I'm not sure. I don't know.

Every night, despite having thick blankets that cuddle me at night, I feel cold. That was never the case when mother was still alive. I remember them kissing me goodnight 'til I fell asleep...

And I remember smiling every night every time that happens...

It's been a long time since I've felt the warmth of a parent. The comfort I craved had vanished... for good. I'm not sure if I'll ever experience that again, but I doubt it.

Even a hug could do, but there's none.

It's hard to do even the simplest things in front of father,

I remember that day when I fell down and a sharp rock grazed my wrist and my knees. It caused a scar in my wrist and has made my knees suffer ever since, but I didn't tell them I had injured my knees as well.

It bled, yet the discomfort remained even after it healed. It was never determined whether there were any broken bones or if it was dislocated. And that pain from my knees, I can still feel it now.

I remember I cried that time, I cried so much that father left me stumbled on the dirt. But what I remember most was what he said to me before he left,

"Stop weeping! It's irritating just hearing your voice!"

And ever since then, I have never cried in front of my father. It was hard suppressing tears. I felt like I was drowning every time I felt like sobbing, gasping for air whenever I tried hard not to cry. It was difficult for me as a toddler.

My father's rage frightened me, yet I still care for him because of what my mother told me before she left.

The sun had not set yet. My father was carrying me in his arms as I waved my hands goodbye, crying, while father rubbed my back, attempting to stop me from crying.

"hahaha... I'll be back soon, my princess. Promise me you'll take care of your stubborn father, okay?" She brushed my shoulder length hair before wiping my tears away.

I nodded and watched her walk away from me.

That same night, we learned of my mother's death. Father locked himself in their room, breaking all the furniture inside. I cried as I heard every loud shattering noise inside. Even his screams were heard from the outside.

It was frightening.

But during those times, I had no idea what's happening as I was merely a three year old kid.

When I turned eight years old, I was celebrating my own birthday with the servants. My father didn't come out of his office, as usual. I was used to it, but I still want to hear him wish me a happy birthday.

I don't even receive gifts from my father anymore. But it's fine, I don't need any gift, but still, I want to see father being nice to me, even for the last time. Even if it's forced.

Despite everything that has transpired in my family, I am thankful that the servants care about me.

A few days later, I departed early in the morning without informing the maids or the butler. I sneaked outside the mansion and planned on visiting my mother's grave.

Well, I sneaked out, but I still left a note on top of my pillow that said, "I'll be back at dinner."

That day, I intended to spend the entire day talking with my mother, telling her everything I had learned and what had happened on my birthday.

I remember, whenever I visited my mother's grave, never did I say something negative about my father. I used to lie in front of my mother, not knowing she was watching us from the above.

As I approached the grave of my mother, a group of bad guys appeared right in front of me, smiling wickedly. I was so scared that the first thing that came to my mind was "run", not knowing I was surrounded by them.

A sack was put over my head and it tightened on my neck as I was dragged from somewhere. I was crying inside as they bound both my hands and feet. And the only thing in my mind was "Father, help me."

I kept repeating those words in my head, even though I know my father will not come to my rescue.

And that day was the last time I set foot on our country, Avalon.