A night of sex

When the boy with whom I wanted to satisfy my most absurd sexual fantasies left the restaurant, I decided to join Sandra in drinking. After dinner, she ordered more wine, I ordered whiskey neat. And while we were drinking, Sandra was talking about the novel she was writing, something about the colonization of the moon and the first lunatic, that is, the first human being born on the moon. I can't get that boy's kiss out of my mind.

With each dose of whiskey, my horniness increases, contrary to what doctors and other men say. They say that when they're drunk, they end up having sex, with me it's the opposite, the more alcohol runs through my veins, the more I want sex. And I can maintain sex for a long time. I wanted sex, but not with a woman. I wanted to feel the hardness of a man's muscles on my body, the strength of a man's hand squeezing my rounded ass. I wanted to feel the bite that leaves a taste of blood in the mouth of a man kissing me.

Nobody showed up. Already drunk, Sandra and I went home and ordered a car on the app, as we weren't going to drive drunk. The restaurant manager was very kind to leave our car in the restaurant's garage. We get home, I hold on to the wall next to the door. I think I'm going to fall, but I manage to stay upright. Sandra enters the house already taking off her clothes. Look at me and say:

- I noticed you excited. I thought I was going to rip my clothes off in the restaurant. – She approaches me and holds my cock.

- You noticed? – I ask scared and add – what else did you notice!

- That you are the best man in the world and that you are in charge of that company now – he says in an almost incomprehensible way.

I feel relieved, for a moment I thought she had noticed my crush on the handsome, masculine man. I don't know if she doesn't know I'm gay or if she pretends not to know , because it's more convenient for her to act innocent. In a way I feel relieved. It wouldn't be good for my professional career to cheat on my boss's daughter with an unknown man in the restaurant bathroom. At the time of desire, I didn't think about everything that is at stake, I just want to satisfy my desire.

Sandra continued taking off her clothes. I decided to reward her for the night we had. And I also needed to prove to her that the reason for my hard dick in the restaurant was her. Nothing better to do this than making her have the best sex of her life. I still had the smell of the stranger's cock in my hand, I put my hand on my face, what a deceptive smell, it invades me like a drug. Soon, I get excited and take off my clothes too. We are both naked. When she sees me excited, she throws herself on me and rides my body madly.

As she rides me, I put my hand to my nose, the smell of the stranger's cock is almost imperceptible on my hand, but it's still there, I smell it, and I smell it. While my cock pulses inside her. In a few moments, she melts into an intense and prolonged orgasm, a few seconds later, it's my turn to spurt my cum inside her. The drunkenness goes away with our cumming, it was so intense. For her it was an incredible orgasm!

For me, it was a frustrating sex, although the sex was great, praised by Sandra, it wasn't the way I wanted to release my excitement. My desire was to fall apart on the body of the stranger I had met, to feel the smell of testosterone and his firm hands in a crazy night of sex. It wasn't Sandra's fault, I knew it. Which didn't stop me from being sad. I know it was reckless, what I did in the bathroom with a stranger. However, as recklessness is good, it is pleasurable.

I appear satisfied. And Sandra seems very happy to me. It's not that having sex with her is bad. I feel pleasure and most of the time I'm the one looking for her to have sex with. However, the pleasure I feel with her is different. Ask bisexuals, they will know the answer better than me. I'm a bisexual man, because if I didn't have so much at stake, I would live forever in the arms of a beautiful, horny man. I don't miss having sexual relations with women, but with men, I even have abstinence. For me, sex with a man is a necessity. But I'm happy with our sex. At least I pretend.

As I learned to lie, I had also learned to deny my desires and even deny who I was. I take a shower with my wife and lying in bed, we now talk. My thoughts are no longer on the boy I had met at the restaurant. I'm now thinking about my new reality, I'm the boss, I decide what to publish and when to publish. And most importantly, my salary increased very, very much. I will earn almost twice as much as another professional who performs the same role as me.

Sandra's thoughts were about her son, who had possibly been fertilized in that sex. And that's what she, stroking the fur on my chest, starts talking about. If I'm pregnant, ask me to choose a name for the baby, ask me what I prefer:

- Ana or Alice?

- Alice – I respond disinterestedly, but carefully so as not to hurt her. She is very excited.

- But what if you're a man... - he insisted in the conversation - what name do you prefer? I thought about Gustavo.

- Okay, it could be Gustavo. – I didn't want to have a child, but I knew it would be a good pastime for Sandra, a child. Even so, she still hadn't gotten pregnant. It's not that we avoided pregnancy, it's that she never got pregnant. And I would appreciate it!

And we fell asleep with the idea that Sandra could have gotten pregnant during that sex, which could be another illusion. Frustration with my wife's next menstrual period. Even though I'm sure she hadn't gotten pregnant, I prefer to follow my wife's daydreams. Seeing her happy at that moment was more important than anything.

It is possible that Sandra dreamed of being pregnant, so much so that at breakfast she continued with the same topic. But now I had already received a call from my father-in-law, and my first meeting of the day would be with a possible partner for the newspaper. I needed to decide whether or not the newspaper would publish the story. In addition, he would have to fire three of his former colleagues.

Being a boss is not as easy as I had thought. And running a newspaper is no more difficult than managing a marriage. Irritated by the endless subject, I ended up saying that I didn't want to be a father, especially at this moment in my life, with so many changes happening. Such words sounded like an affront to Sandra's never-ending desire to be a mother. And a dense atmosphere settled between us.

Sandra is one of those people who repeats the same subject countless times. Even more so when she feels excited. The reason I got stressed is that even though I understand her desire to be a mother, having a child is not my desire. And there comes a time, no matter how hard I try to hide it, that I end up demonstrating my lack of desire to be a father. That was one of those moments.

I immediately regret reacting this way to Sandra's excitement. Too late. My mood has already changed and in her mind, she starts to think about the reasons that would lead me to not want to have children. I was doing well financially, with the new position I would earn three times more. A lover, she concluded, I could only have one lover. Now, this would be your new observation, I discovered who the lover was who took away my desire to be a father.