Chapter 120

" Seriously? You won't even get on? "

I shrugged and held onto the strap of my backpack more tightly, then I told him I was okay. 

" And I'm the childish one?" 

" What's that supposed to mean?"

I arched a brow, then I scoffed and pried my arm away from him before I proceeded to walk around the bike.

" Don't follow me. And go to school tomorrow for fuck's sake! " 

At that point I was just mad at him because I found it hard to be anything else. The anger was the first emotion that I felt and so I basically rolled with it. But in the back of my mind I had actually expected him to go ahead and follow me. He didn't. I didn't hear the sound of the bike either, meaning he had stayed put. That wasn't how I wanted us to end up. There was so much that was still unresolved, I had expected him to try and solve them but he wasn't really doing anything to prove that he was heading in that direction. I missed the days when he'd be the first one to make a move after every occasion. Back when I had still been crossed with him,and it made me wonder whether back then he had just wanted to get me to let go of my grudge. If my anger and attitude towards him truly affected him then he would have been doing more to try and fix things. 

I wasn't even the one in the wrong and it felt like I was putting more effort into fixing things. When I got home, it was to find a freaking suitcase in the living room, I slowly walked over to it and checked to see whether it had anything inside. I held the handle and tried shaking it a bit, which confirmed that the suitcase was indeed full. It was brand new, and I figured my mum was getting ready to leave. I hadn't even had time to think about that lately. 

" Oh, you're finally back. You hungry? "

I turned around and found her carrying this piece of rag in her hand, then she walked over to where I was and started wiping the dust off the suitcase. 

" When are you leaving?" I asked, and instead of replying she simply glanced at me guiltily before she went on with the dusting, then she stopped and stood up straight. I patiently waited, I mean, the suitcase was right there...it was pretty obvious. 

" Tomorrow?" I asked and she shook her head, then she said she'd be going the day after. And she hadn't mentioned anything till that exact moment. I mean, if I had gone straight to bed and not seen her until the following day, she would have probably not even mentioned anything. But I wasn't affected. Not in the way I knew I was supposed to be with her being my mother and the only family I had. All I felt was this great feeling of relief. 

" I'll warm up some food for you, " she offered and I didn't stop her. For the past couple of days I had been intentionally ignoring her, and I had been trying to just continue doing that until she left but I suppose there was no point. The only reason I refused to talk to her was because those talks she wanted made me uncomfortable. I placed my backpack on the couch and sat down, then I waited for her to come back, but she started talking all the way from the kitchen. I suppose she assumed the slight distance between us would help to make things a bit easier, and it did in a way accomplish that. 

" I've been wanting to talk to you, " 

" Yeah, I know. "

I heard her place something in the microwave, then she went on.

" Look Kyle, I'm not trynna force you into hearing me out or anything, but you have to give me a chance here. "

" I've given you plenty of chances. Throughout my entire life you've had countless of them. "

I hated that saying something as simple as the truth made me sound like the bad guy. I wasn't and I damn well knew it. I was just trying to not be hypocritical about the entire thing because what would be the point in lying and acting as if I was happy with her when I actually wasn't. That wasn't the type of person I was. I didn't turn to look at her, but I could just feel her disappointment. Perhaps I'd try and fix things the following day, when it dawned on me that she would actually be leaving, but I doubted it would affect me even then. 

" But go ahead, tell me whatever it is you wanna say, "

I'd listen. It was the least I could do. There would me no comments or reactions from my end but I'd listen. She had had over sixteen years to make things right, there was no way I was going to force myself to alter my feelings simply because her guilt was taking over. 

🌟❄️🌟❄️🌟

AUSTIN'S POV

I don't fucking get him. Not at all! He is definitely exaggerating and he knows it. I mean, I won't deny that I'm also to blame for how he's reacting but we could have tried and solved things in a much better way. And he's claiming that it's all my fault when in real sense he's the one to blame. And if he wants it to be like that then so be it. Kyle had gotten too damn used to having me beg for both his forgiveness and attention. And I already have a load on my plate to deal with so there's no way I'd be able to split my focus into all those different directions. 

But it still hurts like hell. If it were someone else, or something else,I wouldn't have wasted my time thinking about it. But how was I supposed to focus when he wouldn't even talk to me? He claimed I ought to apologize more often, well, I had. I had done so countless times but nothing had changed. He was still ignoring me and I was fed up. I got to school earlier than I was used to. And basically, my day was ruined before it had even began. After the first lesson I was called into the principle's office. Again! Then he very strictly told me that there was no way my behavior was going to be tolerated any longer. That the school had strict policies and I was going against almost all of them. Apparently, no student was allowed to miss more than two academic weeks, which equaled to ten formal school days. He told me that if I dared miss one more, I would be gone for good. And if that wasn't bad enough, he also said that I had to figure out a way to get my grades to at least an average. That was asking for too much, but for once, I didn't even have the motivation or strength to talk back. If I did, I would have probably told him I didn't really care about anything he was telling me. 

Plus his demands were impossible, they actually were. Especially that part about my grades, not even a miracle would be enough to change those. Which meant I had to get comfy with the idea of getting expelled because if that man was serious then it was actually going to happen. And me having to attend school for all the days that remained was a special sort of torture that I did not want to endure. Of course, there was also the possibility that I was being intentionally bitter because Kyle was the only reason I tolerated going to school. And apparently, he no longer wanted anything to do with me. Which meant that I had no motivation to be there. So come to think of it,I didn't even have to force myself to be there by pretending I wanted to be. Perhaps it was finally time for me to be more straightforward with my father. All I had to do was tell him that I was done with school.

He could take the news however he wished. that was entirely on him. The simple fact was that he could get angry and assure me that I'd keep going, but it was just impossible for him to force me. It's not like he could put me in a car or chain me  to a desk. I was used to him getting mad, what was one last disappointment going to do to him? And I said last because I believed it would be. That was the only thing left that he was making me do. If I finally go him to understand that I didn't wanna keep going, then I'd get all the time I wanted to be able to ride my bike and focus more on my racing without having to worry about stupid things that didn't pique my interest at all. I wasn't being intentionally rebellious, I just naturally hated being there. Always had. 

I was still in the office when I got a call....it was him again. The reason I had to miss class the previous day!!