Chapter 2: A Different Girl

~Study~

I don't know how long it's been since I've cried like that. My eyes feel heavy. It feels as though my eyelids have bricks attached to them keeping. I start to see a wisp of a glow arise. I slowly opened my eyes to see my sister and Joseph sleeping upright on the sofa across from me. The fire is softly burning, creating a soft glow in the room. I try to sit up. Okay, now I need to escape. I quickly stand up. The room starts to spin and I lose my balance. I feel two arms catch and steady me before I fall.

"Please be careful Miss Twells. We wouldn't want you to get a serious injury now."

This voice, gentle but firm.

"Sorry to have made you worry Lord Roesler, but I will be fine. There's no need to hold me steady."

He lets go but I can still feel his closeness. I grab the sofa arm, take a seat and look up to the man standing over me. His face looks so stern but his eyes have a hint gentleness to them.

"Would you like me to get help to assist you?"

He turns to walk away.

"No, there's no need for that. I just need a moment to gather myself."

"Alright."

He goes to a chair that has been moved right next to the sofa I was sleeping on.

"How long have you been waiting?"

He looks to Sofia and Joseph, "Not as long as they have. I've been here for about an hour or so."

I don't look towards the two lovers, instead I slowly stand and gain my balance to walk towards the portrait of my father. The fire is creating shadows that dance across his canvass. It's making his handsome face become distorted. I dislike it.

"I was never told how my father died. When I was young everyone told me that people die because God needs them in heaven. I never believed in this. A few years ago, I finally worked up enough courage to ask my mother how Father died. She looked at me with utter disgust and sadness. She told me it was an accident, but I couldn't bring myself to believe her. I feel as though everyone has been keeping the truth hidden from me."

I turned around to find Roesler standing a few feet behind me looking up at father. He looks down to me.

"If you choose me as your bride, you should know that I do not trust you nor anyone here. I am not a ditzy child like my mother and sister will claim. I will not lie to you unless I am ordered to. If you want a wife then I will play the role of your wife. If you want a doll, then I will be a doll. I will follow orders if they are in my power to do so. All I ask is that you be truthful with me."

A smile drifts across his face, "Well, it seems the formalities of our situation have passed. During my visit, I have noticed that you and your sister are complete opposites. She gives the orders while others take them."

"I'm surprised you figured out her ruse so quickly," I say with a mocking smile.

"If I tell your mother I want you as my bride, will you be willing to do anything for me."

"The reason for a marriage is so that my family will be taken care of. If you can abide by that then I will be indebted to you."

"That doesn't seem like an unfair deal. I hope you don't back out of your promise my dear. Let us make this deal official."

He holds out his hand to me. The fire glistens in his eyes, he reminds me of the devil.

"To hell and back I will follow you. If or until you break your promise," I take his hand, "I will take you there myself."

We shake and seal our private contract together.

I hear a small gasp to my right.

"Seems like we have an audience." I tell Roesler as I see Sofia quickly shut her eyes.

"Hmm yes, I thought I heard some movement."

He turns and walks to the sofa I was on earlier.

I stay where I am, "We know you're awake. There's no need to pretend anymore."

Sofia sits up first, then Joseph follows. His eyes are filled with hurt as he looks to me.

Sofia is the first to break the silence.

In a dramatic voice she speaks to me, "I can't believe you were like this Clarissa. I thought better of you."

She looks away as if it pains her to see me.

"My dear, there's no need for that charade right now, we all know your true nature."

Her head snaps back in Roesler's direction, her face twisted with hate.

"I have no clue what you and my sister mean by that."

Movement snaps me back to the quiet person in the room. Joseph starts to slowly walk towards me. His beautiful gaze is stabbing me with millions of daggers. He reaches me with only a few strides.

"Thank you for comforting me earlier Joseph, I really appreciate it." I look away.

I can feel his hand holding my arm, this warmth is too much to bear.

I'm quickly pulled into a hug and he whispers into my ear, "You don't have to do this. You don't have to leave."

My heart can't handle this, I push him away and the feeling of his warmth.

I gently hold his face, my eyes threatening to overflow, "It's the only way to help keep you happy."

I turn away and stand next to the couch Roesler is sitting on.

"Well then, now that that's all settled… Let us go speak with your mother." He smiled and stood up. His movements were swift and precise. I began to follow him out into the hall.

"No," I hear a soft whisper, then it begins to grow. "no, No, NO NOO NOOO!!" Sofia is now yelling at the top of her lungs.

Roesler and I turn back startled by her sudden outburst. She points a furious finger in my direction and stomps towards me.

"You are NOT supposed to get your way. It has always been and always WILL be my way! Not yours! You're not supposed to be willing to go!!"

"Sofia?" A soft confused voice breaks the tension.

Joseph, oh my sweet Joseph. His image of Sofia has just been shattered. A big lie.

"Shut up Joseph, this has nothing to do with you." She turns around with a finger waving at him. "You have no idea what is happening, you're just a dumb handyman so stay out it!"

My eyes go wide with shock for the sudden outburst towards the one she is supposed to be in love with. Apparently Joseph feels the same because he has an expression of shock and betrayal written on his face.

He snaps out of it, "I may just be a 'dumb handyman' to you, but I've been Clarissa's best friend since childhood."

"Tch. If you weren't so dumb you would've known that Clarissa has liked you since we were kids."

Another look of sadness and shock towards my direction. Was it really necessary to say that?

"It's not true, right Clarissa?" The pleading look in his eyes is too much, I look to my feet in silence. Ashamed of myself for never being able to tell him.

"Clarissa?"

I look towards him slowly. Tears have formed in the corners of my eyes. I hope he can't see them from where he stands.

He runs his hand through his hair and starts to slowly pace the room.

"Fuck man. It all makes sense now."

The room goes silent as Joseph is pacing and Sofia is trying to get her act together. I'm just standing here watching them, trying to make sense of all that has happened during this short amount of time.

A boisterous voice breaks the silence. "Well then, it seems like the cat is way out of the bag now. But it does not change anything for me. As much as I would love to watch you lovers quarrel, I must speak to Madam Twells of our lovely engagement plans." He places a hand on my shoulder.

The shocked teens look towards the hand on my shoulder. I force myself to put on my best polite smile. It doesn't have much effect on Sofia, as she starts to shoot daggers from her eyes, and Joseph looks like he's been punched in the gut.

"You can't go through with this Clarissa. You can't marry someone you don't love. Marriage is a connection of two souls becoming one."

My smile shifts into a sad smile. "I am doing it for love though," I look up to him through tears and a smile, "for the love of my family. Even if they don't love me, I will sacrifice myself for them."

With that, I turn and leave the Study. Forcing myself to quicken my pace and not look back towards my sister and my unrequited love interest.

I hear Lord Roesler say his farewell to them.

"It has been a pleasure, have a wonderful evening Miss Twells, Joseph."

And with that the door is closed.

~The Next Morning: Girl's Bedroom~

My head hurts and my eyes are slightly puffy from me crying so much yesterday. I just want to stay in bed and never leave it's comfort.

A knock at the door, "Miss Twells?" It's Robert. He enters the room.

"Your mother is calling you to the study."

"Am I required to go?"

"Yes, madam. Your mother said you must come down even if she has to drag you down herself."

"Fine, I'll be down in a minute. Thank you Robert."

Robert nods and gently closes the door behind him.

I look around the room for my horrid sister. She's not here and her bed is already made. She must be out with Joseph trying to explain what happened last night. I don't even know what time it is. It must be around noon because the sun is shining above my window.

I quickly get up, I have to look at least a little presentable if Roesler is there. I quickly make my bed then change into a comfortable pale blue dress with a scoop neckline, butterfly sleeves and asymmetrical hem skirt with a hem ruffle. I brush my hair and decide to let it stay down with it's natural curl. I briskly walk and stumble my way down the stairs. It's already been a while since my mothers message was given. She does not have much patience when it comes to me.

I get down to the study, but no one is here. I start to look for Robert or any signs of life when I heard laughter. It's mother's laughter. I quicken my pace towards her voice. She's out in the garden, which is odd. She usually goes to the garden if she wants to be alone. I'm guessing that is not the case today.