2 Chapter 1: Is this real life?

feeling a bit lost, I forced myself to get up the bed and go to the bathroom. "this is the last time that I will suffer" I mumbled while dazedly brushing my teeth and continue to wash. my name is K and I'm the eldest in our family. my parents are both dead while trying to save my younger brother from the accident 6 years ago. I can't believe they are willing to sacrifice themselves to save that younger brother of mine.

I'm only 15 at that time and my brother is 13, only 2 years of the gap! and yet here am I living with the stress that they leave behind, my parents own a company that suddenly goes bankrupt so they leave behind a huge amount of debt for me to pay. while my younger brother got all of their wills and now have a successful life yet here I am working with different jobs just to pay their debt.

"Why do I get to suffer like this" I questioned this every time while visiting their graves but all they gave me is silence so I became quite numb every time my questions get unanswered, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to know the truth.

the truth that they have been hiding all these years, I want to know if their "accident" is truly an accident. why do they need to save my younger brother when he is the cause of those depts. he doesn't even learn his lessons when you died its just like nothing to him. oh, how I wish to be my younger brother.

I get these thoughts out of my mind, its impossible to think like that, and I can't do anything but watch as he got everything while I only got problems. I sigh and thought "I don't want to think about that right now, I should go to my job I'm running late". I finished getting dressed and walk towards the door, I suddenly have the urge to look back at my shabby apartment well at least I have a place to stay in, it doesn't really feel like a home to me its more like a deserted island where no one is there to call me "your back". I thought and lastly closing the door and walking down the stairs.

while my mind is having deep thoughts a truck suddenly appears and trying his best to yell "get out the way". while I finally heard his voice its already too late. I only saw many faint figures surrounding me, some of them are on the phone calling 911 "hah why do I feel more relieved than sad that I suddenly got hit by a truck?" I don't know what my surroundings anymore I just want to close my eyes and sleep for a bit. a little sleep won't hurt, right? but what if I won't wake up anymore? what will happen to my parents' debt? while these thoughts run in my mind.

my body cant already takes the impact so I slowly close my eyes but open them after it seems my mind doesn't want me to die yet but my body is already tired. I deeply regret all of my actions. "I don't even get to experience a happy life yet here I am dying from a truck, is this real life?" I questioned again but as usual, no one answered me "well this is better than being locked up with no one beside you right? I no longer need to suffer" I smiled thinking of these thoughts and finally closing my eyes.