5 [Hangover]

Mary Kim awoke with a groan to one of the worst headaches of her life. A pounding sensation right in the middle of her head, like someone, was playing American football with her noggin. She immediately clutched her forehead in pain, gritting her teeth while doing so in hopes it would somehow ease off the drumming pain inside of her skull. A slight breeze made her shiver as she realised her lack of clothes, her large breasts were on full display and the only thing covering the lower part of her body was a thin, pure white but warm sheet. Mary blinked once, twice, the headache now nothing more than background annoyance as she desperately tried to recall what took place just one night prior.

'Fuuuuuuck, my head feels like Zack just finished using it as a punching bag...' the girl silently cursed, she panicked a little when she couldn't recall much from what happened last night.

Mary remembered that she, Vin and Jack all went out to drink and eat some crap in a cheap bar Vin knew, then they got drunk... uh... gangsters... those disgusting pigs were still being cursed to hell and back by Mary. Outside of those memories, her mind mostly drew blanks. She scratched her head in annoyance as she spied her clothes lying on the ground by the bed's side, so with a sigh, she forced her legs over the edge and onto the cold floor. However, before Mary could so much as lean down she noticed one, very, very, VERY, FUCKING VERY, DID THAT DRIVE IT HOME YET(?!), item on the nightstand that rested next to the bed...

...A pair of red-tinted, circular glasses...

Any action Mary was about to make was stopped, her body pretty much became as still as a statue. Even her breath hitched in her throat as her stomach dropped, her face was stuck in an expression a son's mother would make when she walks in on him masturbating to hardcore furry futa porn. The look of pure, unadulterated fucking HORROR.

'Ohnononononononono.'

And then, as if some high-dimensional being that wrote Mary's every action like she was some sort of a character in a book, a low groan sounded from behind her. Definitely male's by the sound of it. Still taking on the appearance and characteristics of a statue, Mary slowly turned her head back. She nearly spew out her own heart when her fears were proven right. There, in bed, with his chiselled chest on full display and his nude crotch hidden only by a slither of the white sheet was... Jack Ho. No way?! Really?! It's like those glasses weren't enough of a giveaway?! Jack hid his eyes behind his hand, so even if Mary wanted to see them she couldn't, sadge.

'...Well... shit...' if Mary could become any paler she could be mistaken for a blank piece of paper, seeing Jack like that, her childhood friend, pretty much nude... in bed... with her... with their clothes scattered across the floor...

Normally this would have definitely sparked some joy, hell, Mary was certain she'd be in cloud 9 were it not for the fact that she remembered NOTHING. Nada! She was so gone after a few extra rounds of alcohol at Jack's place that her memory was wiped, leaving not a single byte left. If they went all the way and judging by the half-empty box of condoms besides Jack's glasses they did, then that was her first time! And she remembers it not! Cometh the flashback! Restory damaged memory! No matter how hard she tried to remember, Mary got nothing except a small amount of pain in her hips and sore legs. That was it. Of course, the headache was still there but other than that... fucking nothing. This... IS NOT HOW SHE WANTED IT TO GO! Mary wanted her first time to be special! To be amazing, romantic, memorable! AND SHE CAN'T REMEMBER JACK SHIT, pun intended, EVEN IF HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT! The shame coupled with the rising sense of dread broke Mary out of her stupor, that coupled with the slowly waking Jack told her to either prepare for a VERY awkward morning in bed with her... friend? Does he even classify as that anymore? Are they more than friends now? Or... was that just a one night stand? Well, either she would bite the bullet and face the situation or she would run away to live a few hours longer, even if her dignity was already in more pieces than Phosphophyllite's mentality at the end of Houseki no Kuni.

So of course, because Mary Kim is an absolute queen of mean, also referred to as Queen of 2 Seconds during her middle-school years... she fucking dipped the hell out of there. She's not an idiot though and grabbed her clothes before bolting out of the room as quickly and stealthily as she possibly could. The moment she did she nearly fell backwards. There, in the living room lied a half-dead Vin Jin on the sofa. The guy looked like he did Saitama's workout but, only, thousand times more intense, at least he was fully clothed. Mary nearly yelled in fright before covering her exposed privates with her rags as she ran into the bathroom.

'Those... were the most terrifying five minutes of my life,' Mary let out a breath of relief as she was allowed to finally take a break from sudden surprises.

She quickly and quite shakily started to dress, although before she did she paused, "...Bite marks...?"

Yes indeedy! Her breasts were quite literally covered in hickey and, surprisingly, bite marks. They didn't hurt but were quite sore, and very unexpected. Mary blushed as she imagined the ways she received them, there were some even on the insides of her thick thighs! What the hell?! Now she really, really, REALLY wanted to remember what happened! DAMN YOU ALCOHOL! With an annoyed snarl, Mary resumed what she was doing and searched for her undergarments in the mess of clothes she snatched from Jack's room. There was but one problem though...

...Her sports panties were not there...

'...'

And so, Mary Kim let out the loudest scream of fury that was heard across the entire globe...

Suffice to say, both Vin Jin and Jack Ho were startled and while one fell from his spot on the couch the other was surprised so greatly he jumped from the bed and didn't quite stick the landing, nearly breaking his nose in the process.

It took Vin a second to recollect himself before instinctively bolting to the source of the scream and banging his fist against the bathroom door in worry, "HEY, YOU ALIVE IN THERE?!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, THIS MORNING CAN'T GET ANY WORSE!" and fate being the bitch she is decided to be a bitch, how surprising, and prove Mary wrong.

Jack, who realised his lack of glasses and any form of clothes, took a bit more time to get decent to heed Mary's call. Unfortunately, in his blind fumbling and haste, he managed to only put on his red-tinted glasses and didn't quite get a good look at what sort of underwear he was putting on. You can already tell where this is going, can't you? Jack did notice that the underwear he put on was a bit tight around the crotch area but paid it no mind as he bolted out of his room with nothing but his glasses and that particular pair of underwear on.

"What the hell is going on?!" Jack calmed down only a bit when he saw that Vin was just as confused and worried.

"No clue, I... I think I was dreaming of a fucking El Chupacabra making kitchen wings and... uh... heard Mary yell," Jack could only blink in exasperation behind his red-tinted glasses at what Vin just told him before sighing in relief that nothing serious was going on.

Jack brushed his hair back, an action he did when not even sighing could help lift the imaginary weight off his chest, "Bloody hell... I nearly got a heart attack."

Vin leaned his back against the door behind which hid a very panicked Mary while Jack just did his best to calm his nerves, his head actually spun a little bit when he jumped out of the bed and it was not a pleasant feeling.

The silence was there for a few minutes before Vin had enough and broke it, looking at Jack, "Do you remember the hell happened...?"

"Um... not really," Jack gave his honest answer, but in all honesty, he didn't feel like rummaging through his memory when his head felt like it was going to explode.

"Something wiiiiiiiild must have gone down," Jack rose an eyebrow behind his red-tinted sunglasses and beckoned his friend to continue, "Dude, you are stoned as shit if you don't notice that you have a pair of fucking panties on."

Jack blinked, once, twice, thrice, then he looked down and his brain shut down like an old Windows Vista computer when he noticed that the tightness he felt around his crotch was justified. He was, indeed, wearing a pair of black and VERY fucking tight sports panties.

"...Wait..." realisation hit both of the boys just moments later like a speeding bullet shot by the Gun Devil from Chainsaw Man, there was no fucking way Jack had any panties and the only girl that was with them was...

"...Aren't these Mary's?!"

The monke brain dumbasses looked at one another with no small amount of surprise, although to any onlooker it might have been more comical than anything else. Slowly the two monkeys connected the dots, although even that much was proving to be slightly difficult with the painful headache wrecking their brains. A hangover is a bitch, at least they weren't puking though... Would've been a lot worse if they were throwing up whatever the fuck they ate yesterday AND dealing with Mary's morning personality. Granted this was VERY MUCH A FUCKING CRISIS for everyone involved but that's life, am I true or am I true?

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The three musketeers were now sitting on the previously occupied sofa in Jack's living room in awkward silence, neither of them knew how to start and/or keep the conversation going. Everyone's mind was focused on something that happened last night, whether it was the obvious sex Jack and Mary had or the fact that Vin couldn't find his 20% ramen coupon anywhere.

'Dammit, this is so awkward... but... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!' the collective hivemind of three dumbasses thought of the same thing at the same time, because that's what best friends do, they unify into one colony. Join the hivemind~ Wooooo~

Mary was sporting a very noticeable blush, yet no one commented or really paid attention to it as both of the boys were looking forward, frozen in time while their minds raced, 'Aaah~! This is so embarrassing! I want to ask Jack if he remembers anything but it's so awkward!'

Jack's train of thought wasn't much different from Mary's, in fact, he was thinking very much the same thing, 'Shitshitshitshit, my hips are killing me! Cool Extroverted Me, what have you done?!'

And Vin... was being Vin, 'Where in the crying fuck is that coupon?!'

Not being able to take the awkward silence any longer, Mary was the first to speak up, "So... any of you remember anything? Cause my mind is in shambles."

"Nope!"

"Nu-uh!"

The blonde could only deadpan and sweatdrop at the millisecond late response she received from both of the boys before the awkward silence returned with full force. Now... what to do? What to say?! How is this conversation supposed to go?! Neither of the three knew how to begin, Vin was DESPERATELY trying to find his missing coupon with his eyes as a way to distract himself from the crushing reality that his two best friends had a night of wild drunken sex while he was happily dreaming away at his friend's sofa. But a form of salvation came to them in the form of Vin, who had just about enough of the awkward atmosphere and did what any brave man would do!

He ran the fuck away.

"Sorrygottagogotatalentaudition," and faster than an Eminem could sing a five-mile-long verse, Vin Jin bolted out of Jack's apartment, running like his ass was on fire.

Now... it was just Jack and Mary, and as if things couldn't be awkward enough as they were now, the time to head to school was rapidly nearing... But neither of the two had any confidence to so much as stand up, especially not after realising that they would be walking to school together...

So Jack bit the bullet, someone had to so he might as well be a man now than never, "So... crazy night, huh?"

"Y-Yeah..."

'You fucking donkey WHY DID YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT?!' Jack mentally berated himself for attempting to start a conversation in the most awkward way possible and immediately thought of a new approach, although it wasn't one Jack wanted to be proud of, "I'm... uh... sorry."

Mary perked up at that, eyes clearly widening as she turned to look at Jack with surprise, "Why?"

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Jack's face as he chose the most underhanded tactic possible for a man, and that was... guilt-tripping! Yes, that is correct, he was indeed using Mary's own guilt to somehow, in some way, move the conversation forward! He didn't like it, not one bit, but it was the safest and most underhanded approach he could think of. If Mary was mad at him this was the perfect way to say so, and if she was mad at him for saying sorry while having enjoyed last night, then he will just say sorry again! GENIUS!

"Well... er... you know I have this whole split-personality thing when I am drunk, right? I'm sorry if I..." his voice trailed off and it only took Mary a moment before she realised what Jack was apologising for.

"Nononono! It's fine!" the blonde desperately tried to ease off Jack's mind, waving her arms abound in hopes to further drive her point home, "You have nothing to apologise for! We were both... a little tipsy to be honest. And... I don't blame you for what happened."

That was one less problem to tackle, good, this whole situation was slowly unravelling, Jack could only hope though that it would end in his favour, "Then... what happens now? Between us, I mean."

This was the topic both of them were the most afraid of, neither one of them was sure about the way the other person had felt and they were even more unsure and anxious due to the events that transpired last night, the night where both of their virginities were forfeit and yet their remember nothing. That was the most frustrating part for both of them. If they could at least remember the sex they had they would have something to remember if things... didn't work out. But nope! Fate gave both of them a big ol' "FUCK YOU!" and now here they are.

"W-Well... that... depends," Jack PRAYED to Buddha that Mary wasn't going to ask him what he wanted, he'd be so fucked if she does that it's not even funny, "Personally... I... wouldn't mind giving it a shot."

FATAL ERROR - Jack.exe HAS STOPPED WORKING

It was safe to say that Jack's brain did a little trolling and shut down the moment he heard those words. She was... willing to give it a shot? So that must mean that... SHE WANTS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM?! HIM?! Nonononono, impossible! A beautiful, curvy girl like Mary Kim could get just about any man she wanted so why the hell would she go out with him? Granted, they knew each other quite well since middle school but... Jack literally did the Father of The Year tactic and disappeared for a while, granted it was a literal emergency but it still should have dissuaded Mary from being romantically interested in him.

"...Jack...?"

But... she still chose him.

"Jack?"

Huh... well, he must have done something right last night if his and Mary's hips were in pain!

"Jack."

But... oh boy, really? Jack wasn't sure how to contain his excitement. I'll let you in on a little secret, okay? The reason why Jack had even bothered to approach Vin Jin and Mary Kim during his middle school years... wasn't because of Vin or Mary's fighting prowess. No. Well, yes, partially. But, the real reason why he worked up that courage to beat the hell out of them back then was... because he sort of... fell for Mary when she was still a bad bitch.

"Jack!"

Mary Kim used to be a delinquent, that's why they called her The Queen of 2 Seconds. She could end a fight in that short amount of time primarily by throwing someone like a ragdoll. Mary... was an absolute monster at judo. She also had a biker gang, although it looks like she quit her motorbiking hobby. Then... did Jack... really have any reason to refuse her? And why in god's name would he? Have you SEEN Mary?! She's gorgeous! Beautiful even! No right man, especially one that robbed her of her chastity would be in his right mind to refuse her affection!

"JACK!"

He jolted as his mind finally registered the yelling voice of his soon to be girlfriend if nothing went wrong of course. He owlishly blinked at the blonde, and she could tell that he did even when he had those stupid red glasses on, let's call it girl's intuition, eh? Mary couldn't help but grow a little nervous when Jack just turned to her with an unreadable look and didn't say anything. Then what Jack would later call an "act of stupid bravery"... he leaned in.

-MMNH!-

It... was quite easy to tell that the blonde girl was surprised by Jack's sudden action. Hell, Jack himself was surprised! He didn't do it on purpose... at least he didn't think so. It sort of felt like his body moved on its own like an instinct forcefully tugged him forward to plan his lips onto those which he desired the most. To wherever that instinct came from, whatever it was called... he would forever remain thankful to it as a pair of arms wrapped around his neck, forcing the previously gentle kiss to deepen. On that day, three things happened to Jack that he will never forget. 1 - He unknowingly lost his virginity. 2 - He wore his girlfriend's panties. 3 - He was late for class not because he overslept but because he lost track of time and nearly suffocated because of it, we all know how that happened.

...

...

...

"...Her lips tasted like strawberries..."