Warhammer 40K: I Don’t Want to Be a Tin Can!

This is a translation- Original Author: Night Tales by a Dim Lamp In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. The Emperor walks among men, striving to restore the glory of the Imperium. Yet, the fate of humanity has long been toyed with by the malevolent Chaos Gods. In this tumultuous future, there is naught but endless darkness and warfare. That is, until the appearance of a Deathwatch Marine named Hades. As the threads of destiny intertwine, can this outsider change the tragic fate that awaits countless souls? The gods place their bets. Yet, Hades remains oblivious to all of this. At present, he's weeping like a snotling that's had its toe stepped on. "Emperor's mercy! Why am I in the Warhammer universe?!" "And why in Terra's name am I a Deathwatch Marine?!" "Is it too late to bash my head in and respawn?!" A comedic tale where a nerdy, unserious protagonist finds himself in the grimdark Warhammer world, oscillating between moments of sheer terror and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing.

Read_and_Chill · Book&Literature
Not enough ratings
174 Chs

Chapter 160 Haggling

"This counts as one weapon."

"You're holding two pistols—you tell me that's one?"

"They're a matching pair; why don't they qualify as one?"

"Those are two!"

"One weapon; who has sets of weapons that breakdown into one each after some disassembly?"

In Trazyn's armory, Hades carried a pistol in each hand while hugging a scythe close.

"Just these three, no, just these two."

"Make up your mind if you'll give 'em to me or not."

"Despite your wealth, no need being so petty about things."

Trazyn stared at this shameless creature who still clung tightly to the weapons despite smooth talk.

In Hades' hands were two hefty ornate pistols. One pitch black, heavyset and steady with armor-like plates covering its surface and sleek green lines inlaid on the gun barrel.

Its name was Judgment.

The other entirely bone-white, jagged and sharp with shards of bone stabbing out and crimson lines flowing between them.

Its name was Decapitation.

Trazyn discovered these from a twin human kingdom and quite liked their designs. It had casually improved their firepower with necron technology then.

The black Judgment fired intense particle beams. This mysterious archaeotech pistol from the human Dark Age could penetrate any known armor to an extent. Upon contact, the ammunition generated Warp folds on armor surfaces—one on the front, another on the back, enabling the payload to directly strike enemies despite armor hindrance.

Theoretically this pistol could penetrate any protection. The tradeoffs were extremely short range and lengthy charging times.

Trazyn was confident that on maximum output, aside from titans or equivalent massive constructs, this gun could easily shred most other vehicles.

As for the white Decapitation, it had been embedded with special necron technologies to constantly absorb sparse energy from surrounding space for functionally infinite ammunition without needing charging time.

The blood-red energies it fired could shred enemy shields and flesh while also possessing immense penetration, high temperature burns, plus excellent range.

Hades stared at Trazyn innocently with the death grip still on the weapons.

"It's a matching set so it counts as one weapon."

"You don't use them anyway; they just get displayed."

"Put that scythe down!"

"Don't you already have your black scythe Requiem?! And you still want more from me?!"

Hades blinked. He recalled the scythe Requiem that the Emperor bestowed amplifying his Null Field even projecting it externally. However—

It only specialized against souls. This scythe's physical cutting power was only strong, unlike the outright broken bugginess of necron phase weaponry. In theory the phase swords extracted from necrodermis shells could cut anything.

Save C'tan shards.

Unmoving before the sly creature of flesh and blood's haggling,

Trazyn responded:

"Very well. I will plate your Requiem scythe with a layer of necrodermis. So put that other scythe down!"

That scythe, Blood Reaper, was a dynastic relic. Trazyn was unwilling to let such an item leave its possession! Who knew Hades' sharp eyes would directly spot it from the deepest corner of the armory!

Another intense quarrel erupted with sincere well wishes for each other's races exchanged.

The battle concluded in Hades' defeat.

Hades pouted before Trazyn as he watched the massive mechanisms operate.


Trazyn retrieved the scythe from the device.

The originally fully black Requiem now reflected strange green lights along the curved blade and chainsaw serrations with gorgeous shifts in luster from different angles of Hades' handling.

Hades stared at Requiem. Hmm...It felt more familiar now.

He extended a hand to touch the scythe's edge. The formerly sharp blade instead felt...soft as cotton?

"Ah?! Did you mess it up, Trazyn?! You'll compensate me!"

"Use your brains! Oh right, my apologies, you lack that organ. You contain shards of a star god while necrodermis cannot harm star gods!"

"You provided my brains too so you pawned unreliable goods onto me!"

Trazyn wordlessly watched this shameless human.

Meanwhile Hades kept fiddling with his scythe.

"I don't feel you plated any metal onto this scythe either?"

"I added an atomic layer of necrodermis. Obviously imperceptible by your naked eyes."

"A single atomic layer! How miserly."

"Only premium metals were used on you! Are you aware how scarce this is? Moreover, effectiveness has nothing to do with thickness for this special metal. One layer enables you to shred any physical opponent."

Yet Hades still watched him like staring down a sly merchant.

"Go test it! Trying will prove things!"


Trazyn shooed Hades off toward the training grounds nearby then folded his arms while observing at the side.

Hmph. Witness the might of necron technology firsthand, foolish human!

Hades carried a pistol on each hip with Requiem in hand. He approached an exceptionally thick giant boulder. This was infused with high density alloys based on Trazyn's pointers.

Hades still eyed his Requiem rather skeptically before attempting a casual scythe swing without full effort.

From Hades' experience, that amount of exertion should be completely inadequate for the scythe to even nick this boulder.

However, an exceptionally smooth sensation transmitted along the scythe haft as if slicing tofu.

Requiem effortlessly carved through the boulder, leaving behind an indentation flawlessly matching the scythe's thickness.

Hades even felt the metal on his Requiem seem to resonate faintly with himself.

Holy crap?!

Witnessing this, Hades no longer hesitated. He retreated several steps before charging forth into a leaping strike toward that giant rock while swinging his scythe down!

Sensations of smoothness reminiscent of Dove soap transmitted. Not the slightest obstruction occurred as the scythe easily sliced through the durable alloy boulder.

Suspended in midair, an impulse moved Hades. He directly kicked off the boulder into a graceful backflip. His feet informed him this rock was indeed exceptionally weighty.


The boulder's upper half lost balance from Hades' kick and slowly toppled toward the ground with a deafening crash.

Hades reappraised his Requiem scythe once more—truly not bad!

"Well? How is it?"

Trazyn's voice sounded. Strangely it now lacked any emotional color compared to before.

But Hades knew what response was needed—

"Extremely easy to use!"

"Five star rating. Love from the Death Guard."

Trazyn satisfyingly folded both arms. This brat was utterly oblivious to the magnificence of necron technology!