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Warhammer 40K: I Don’t Want to Be a Tin Can!

This is a translation- Original Author: Night Tales by a Dim Lamp In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. The Emperor walks among men, striving to restore the glory of the Imperium. Yet, the fate of humanity has long been toyed with by the malevolent Chaos Gods. In this tumultuous future, there is naught but endless darkness and warfare. That is, until the appearance of a Deathwatch Marine named Hades. As the threads of destiny intertwine, can this outsider change the tragic fate that awaits countless souls? The gods place their bets. Yet, Hades remains oblivious to all of this. At present, he's weeping like a snotling that's had its toe stepped on. "Emperor's mercy! Why am I in the Warhammer universe?!" "And why in Terra's name am I a Deathwatch Marine?!" "Is it too late to bash my head in and respawn?!" A comedic tale where a nerdy, unserious protagonist finds himself in the grimdark Warhammer world, oscillating between moments of sheer terror and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing.

Read_and_Chill · Book&Literature
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174 Chs

Chapter 159: The Eternal Collector King's Hot Take on the Emperor

Hades leisurely followed Trazyn through the long corridors as they headed to the Eternal Collector King's makeshift armory to loot some weapons.

The earlier conversation had familiarized them. They chatted casually while walking.

"Say, were there others aside from me with similar circumstances?"

"If you mean outsiders, then no, you are not unique. But if referring to individuals with the star god's aura, then yes, only you alone."

Hades considered this:

"Then could I potentially encounter other outsiders?"

Fellow humans from his original world? Speaking of which, they might also hail from differing eras.

"Impossible."

"Outsiders are generally an extremely rare existence. Their manifestations throughout history can be counted on one hand."

"Moreover, upon arrival in this universe, outsiders tend to get eliminated by the warp's denizens and other races' rulers."

"The warp's inhabitants are predisposed to reject your kind."

"While you are truly an anomaly."

Hades shrugged.

"No clue why His Majesty took a shine to me either."

"Few creatures can deduce what that Emperor of yours ponders or undertakes."

Trazyn casually commented before abruptly halting. Adopting a gossipy tone, the Eternal Collector King spoke up:

"I have a speculation concerning your Emperor. Care to hear it?"

This might even make Hades switch sides.

Hades blinked.

"I won't suddenly keel over dead from this right? It's not some forbidden knowledge or something?"

"Oh no, just conjectures. If you meet the Emperor later, you could even help me verify my guesses."

Hades slowly averted his gaze. Could he state he preferred not hearing this?

In his past life as a Warhammer fan, the Emperor's origins, imagery, positioning constantly shifted―from the avenging god Malal summoned by ancient shamans, to the awakened demigod son after the first human murder; from the ruthless and heartless Master of Mankind to the technophobic awkward father with a closet full of shame. As the greatest Gary Stu mixed with Mary Sue in human history, the Emperor never had a fixed image.

Only one fact concerning the Emperor was certain:

He would expend every effort and burn everything to ashes to ensure the human race's continuation.

An extreme humanocentrist. If they could not remain loyal to the race they were born into, what basis would they have to gain a foothold amidst the messy cosmos?

If Hades was a psyker, he would denounce this greatest terrorist of the Milky Way.

But he was human. This bro was harsher to outsiders while even harsher to his own kind. Hades truly had nothing to say to that.

He also lacked the inclination to speculate down conspiracy theories. With the Emperor's configuration, if he sought to become the most luxurious human monarch, he would have done so long ago already.

Yet the Emperor had not.

The current Emperor was solely focused on reclaiming human territory, endlessly launching massive WAAAGHs! into the Milky Way.

Big brother made twenty-one good sons to WAAAGH! with us!

Awesome!

Cough cough, tangented there. My bad, not at all.

So Hades viewed the Emperor as: Big bro, all you say makes sense. Just scam me a bit more lightly, or at least give me a heads up.

Trazyn's cheerful voice sounded out:

"Consider this, Hades. The psykers have their own racial gods, so why do humans lack similar ethnic deities?"

Ah, the divine Emperor theory huh. An old chatterbox topic. Hades did not plan on refuting anything, intending to let Trazyn prattle on fully first.

Someone who resembled a god with abilities also godlike, yet insisted he was not divine—was he truly not a god?

Hades' answer to this was:

Dull.

Him being a god or not, what business was that of Hades'?!

Judging from his sons, Hades felt gods did not sire that sort of offspring.

Seeing Hades acquiesce, Trazyn continued:

"So let us first hypothesize the Emperor functions as the human race's ethnic god."

"Then the second question arises―which aspect of humanity does your Emperor embody?"

Hades was taken aback.

"Isn't he just the human concept itself?"

"No no no."

Trazyn kept talking:

"To attain massive power from the warp, the broad concept of humankind cannot elicit sufficient emotion."

"In other words, the concept lacks purity by being too muddled."

"Consider the mighty gods you know of. All personify concepts able to evoke sentiments."

Hades pondered before hesitantly voicing:

"Then...Revenge?"

The Emperor held jurisdiction over retaliation. An eye for an eye and tit for tat aligned with predominant doctrines.

Trazyn nodded.

"I did consider this possibility too."

"But we could potentially expand our thinking further."

"Your Emperor's rise and activity upon history's stage occurred during the Age of Strife."

During that period, what were you humans doing?"

"W...War."

Hades abruptly realized something. He looked to Trazyn—

"Yes, war, turmoil, death."

"I lean more toward speculation that your Emperor may have attained authority over the concept the human race signifies: War."

Hades blinked. Although poorly timed, wow the Emperor's so valiant and fierce, Horus too is fierce and valiant!

Before Hades finished musing, Trazyn continued:

"This would then explain his Great Crusade."

Motherfu—?!

Hades instantly grasped something:

"I-I know nothing! What are you saying? I don't get your meaning!"

"Don't explain further! I can't comprehend!"

His body reacted ahead of his brain. Hades swiftly clamped his hands over his ears, terrified of hearing some outrageous theory from Trazyn.

"I-I'm warning you! My left brain is from the Emperor. Don't spout anything that shouldn't be said, my brain has automatic detonation protocols!"

The Trazyn walking ahead paused and glanced back at Hades disdainfully while waving a hand dismissively:

"Enough! No such function exists. I checked already."

"You checked already?!"

"You didn't install something like that for me right!?"

"Am I that sort of wicked existence?!"

Trazyn leaned on his cane while jabbing a finger at Hades.

Seeing Trazyn halt, Hades finally lowered his hands.

"Aren't you worried that after telling me this, when I next see the Emperor he'll psychically crush me to death or something?"

"That won't happen."

"For someone like you whose thoughts won't make ripples in the warp, your Emperor likely won't care."

"Don't go tattle this stuff to anyone else. Don't prattle this to me!"

Triple rejection from Hades.

Trazyn helplessly watched Hades.

"I normally have no one to discuss matters like this with. Consider which of my kind cares about things like this."

"That's not justification for trying to harm me!"

"I won't listen, I refuse to listen!"

"Two weapons."

Hades' shrieking instantly ceased.

"I can take anything?"

"Take anything."

"Please continue."

Trazyn felt that if it was still a Necrontyr, its facial muscles would likely be twitching from stress by now.

Cough cough. It coughed twice before continuing:

"So essentially, the wars sparked by the Great Crusade also empower your Emperor."

"Although your Emperor claims to be reclaiming lost territory, war itself is his objective."

No. The Great Crusade's goal was accruing resources for the Webway Project...But if this train of thought continued:

"Might he want...to attain divinity?"

"Not as an ethnic god retaining human qualities, but genuine godhood."

"No."

Hades murmured.

As someone privy to later events, Hades knew the Emperor absolutely did not seek apotheosis. Quite the opposite, he adamantly rejected it.

"Even based on your assumptions, his goal could still be gathering might to confront the Four Chaos Gods of the warp."

"But the Emperor is human."

However, if Trazyn's hypothesis here held true:

In the later stages of the Great Crusade, the Emperor hastily returns to Terra after accumulating sufficient power through wars. He accelerated the Webway Project—resources were ample; another reason was how war's accumulation brought him to the cusp of ascension.

The Webway Project needed the Emperor to wield adequate power for navigating warp interference. But sufficient power was also gradually distorting the Emperor.

He was running out of time. His ascension approached. He had no choice but to keep hastening things― establish a Warmaster, then retreat to Terra.

Then the Great Crusade's inherent purpose changed...

Hades felt his hackles rise.

Perhaps next time, if he truly met the Emperor, he could...ask?

Hmm. Would he actually dare ask this? Still best to consult Malcador for such matters.

Forget it! Hades, this was just some wicked xenos' trap for you. Let it fade away!

Hades blinked and focused his energy and brainpower upon debating Trazyn:

"The Emperor is no god. He is human."

Trazyn clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"And your basis?"

"His sons—or at least those I've seen so far—I feel are unworthy of being labeled gods or demigods."