Lillian-Introduction

Well to start off with me I don't know whether to address my issues first or just give insight about me, because I am pretty messed up, my family even admits it. Well I guess to get into it when I was 2 my father and mother split, and my mother got full custody. Then my mother was with who I considered to be my father until I was 6, it was a bad end for them and they had this awful fight I had to witness which traumatized me so now whenever people fight I start crying whether I want to or not and it always reminds me of Corey. My mother since then has brought people in and out of my life for as long as I can remember and to be honest I kind of resent her for that even though its not something she can control. Carter,Kyle,Tim,Nathan they all ended in disaster just like Corey. But I liked Kyle the best and a reason that might be was because he got my great grandpa's blessing and was there for me when when my grandpa passed, it always seemed like he cared for me and even now he still checks up on me. Tim wasn't around very long but I loved his dog he had, Raegal so I was bummed when he left and I couldn't see the dog anymore otherwise I really didn't care that he left because he made no effort with our family. Mom and Nathan only went out for like a month and even once brought me to one of their dates but I don't really remember much of him so I could care less. Carter and mom were together for like a year I think and I really liked his farm and cattle, and he had a roommate so I enjoyed playing with his roommates kids. He also had a daughter but she was a baby when they got together and after they spilt so I couldn't really do much with her. But all in all I just loved his farm and animals but they split because of his drinking problem, my father also had a drinking problem so my mother didn't want another person like my father. Oh yea did I mention what most of these guys had in common? They all got my mom pregnant but she lost the baby each time. She's had I think around 23 miscarriage's. I know her and Corey really tried to have a kid, If I remember correctly her and Kyle did too, I know for sure Carter and her tried because I was also really devastated with that miscarriage. And legit I don't know much about Nathan. But now if we are talking present time her fiancé is Kirby, a loser I consider him and I'll talk more about my problems and him later but they recently welcomed a little girl, my sister to the family and I'm super for my mom and to have my sister, I just wish Kirby wasn't the father. But enough about that, I am currently in therapy, not on any meds even though I probably should be because my anxiety and depression are so bad. But that's enough on me.