19 Going Home

[Music Recommendation: "The Truth Untold" by BTS - instrumental only version by Smyang Piano (LoFi Edit]

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[The following day… Saturday]

"Ahm… Agent Helios," I called him while my eyes stared at his car.

Once again, we were in the parking lot, on our way to visit my mom like how we agreed the other day.

"Can we use my car today?" I asked him hesitantly.

"Hm? Why?"

"It's just that… I don't know—your car in our neighborhood will probably raise a lot of gossips, and… basically, it's gonna be a bother."

"Because it's a luxury car? Yours is too, right?"

"Yes, though its an old model—but they're already familiar with mine, so…."

"… So?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I don't get what you mean."

"What I mean is—ugh. Okay, let me explain it so you, super-rich guy, would understand the woes of a normal person like me and my mom," I replied, pressing on my temples.

I inhaled deeply before starting.

"We live in a normal neighborhood, and people there tend to gossip—mostly wives who have nothing better to do or just random people. When they see another luxury car coming to our house—which is a humble one and not a mansion, just so you know—they're gonna ask how in the world do I get to have such cars? Am I doing something illegal? Like maybe… selling my body? Those kinds of questions will lead from one thing to another until it reaches my mother's ears, and of course, she wouldn't sit still and end up arguing with them."

I explained all that in one breath.

"Yeah, that kind of thing. And that's just one of the possible things that might happen. There are lots, and you wouldn't want to know."

His face gave off an "I-don't-give-a-damn" look.

"If that's the kind of place you live in, why don't you just transfer? It's not like you can't afford to buy a house somewhere else, right?"

Ahh… that question. My mother asked me that a lot of times, too.

"Ye-Ji'ya, why don't we transfer somewhere else, hm? Maybe that way you can forget—"

And I would always answer her…

"No, I can't," I replied to Agent Helios. "It's the only place where I was able to spend the most time with my father. Let's just say… it's a very important place."

I tried to laugh it off when I answered him… but my heart couldn't be fooled. It's stinging again as if hundreds of knives were stabbing it.

Yes, that house… that address… that place… had become the remaining link I had with my father. Whenever I'm there, I remember him and all the fun times we had when I was a child. Though nowadays, the memories come along with the nightmares.

Our house was just a small room before. The whole building where it was located used to be a low-rise apartment until I managed to buy it all and renovate it to the pretty decent house it is now. But there was one room I never touched—that one room where we used to live together, afraid that… just in case my father's spirit was still there, that he would go away or disappear. Because of that silly thinking of mine, I couldn't bring myself to transfer places. And also, because of that, I still always come back home every weekend, missing my father.

Maybe I'm selfish, and I admit that. My mother probably suggested that to me before because she, too, couldn't forget about my father. But I'm so stubborn and didn't want to go. Maybe that's hurting her more, especially on days when I'm not at home. But still, I just couldn't—anything but that.

"I see," he replied in a gentle tone.

He really could be quite sensitive sometimes, huh? That's… nice of him.

"Your mother… does she not have any friends from your neighborhood?"

"Hm? Well, not that I know of. Why?"

How could she have friends there when most people knew my father as a criminal, thus branding us "the criminal family" even after years had already passed by. Now that I think about it, I'm really being cruel to my mother, huh? Should I consider moving out? Or at least buy a separate house for her to stay instead of that place?

Agent Helios turned silent for a moment, then replied, "… Nothing. Let's go."

After listening to everything I just said, he still insisted on using his car—WAAAA! This damn guy! I thought he was being sensitive earlier, but that only lasted for a few seconds! I should have driven separately and asked him to meet me at home. This jerk!

"Oh, right," he said. "Should I let you drive?"

Huh? Drive? His car? Seriously?!

"You don't want to?"

"I want to! I'll drive!" I replied immediately and nodded my head enthusiastically.

Okay, I take back what I said earlier. You're only a half jerk since you're letting me drive.

'Oh my goodness! I can't believe I can finally drive the fastest car in the world! I'm so happy!'

We changed seats after that, and my grin stayed on my face the whole ride.

"Woah! This is so great! This car is the best!"

"The steering is so smooth, and the way it drifts… Woah!"

"The speed! Ahhh… it's really amazing."

"I love this car! Where can I buy it? I'll make sure to save up and buy this, too."

I kept rambling on and on as I drove towards my home. Agent Helios remained silent and just rolled his eyes from time to time or told me to shut up.

"Agent Helios, if you ever get tired of this car, why don't you sell it to me for half the price? It's second-hand, so half the price isn't so bad, right?"

"Ha-ha. You're making me laugh. Cars like these don't depreciate in value. I can auction it and earn a lot more."

"Oh, come on! You're already filthy rich!"

"You may as well just ask me to give it to you."

"That's right! Why don't you just give it to me? I accept car donations."

"Ha-ha-ha! How shameless of you. And what do I get in return?"

"Eh? Are you not giving it to me out of the kindness of your heart?"

"Too bad, I don't have that."

"Tsk. How stingy."

And just like that, our silly conversation went on.