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Derek was sitting with me on the porch. I leaned into his embrace and I enjoyed the feeling how pack being so close to me. He had an arm around me and he was rubbing my shoulder with his hand. He makes me feel safe. But in a way that's different than Stiles. He doesn't make me feel pressured or push me for more. It's nice. I'm glad we're friends.

"Are you actually doing okay?" Derek asked me. I shrugged, not sure how I wanted to answer him. "Is Stiles being too aggressive?" He asked, instead. I bit my lip. If I lie, he's going to know.

"...I don't think he means to be. He can just be a lot. He knows that I want to take things slowly... He just pushes, sometimes. It almost feels like he has something he has to prove. Or like if I'm so hazy from getting off, I won't question him, and honestly, it's not the worst logic. I am more agreeable after that. I just don't know. I didn't know Stiles before. I'm still getting to know him. I don't have a baseline for him. I like him a lot, but there's something about him that keeps me on edge. I feel bad for feeling so hesitant. Lydia thinks it's nothing, but I've got this feeling in my gut that I can't shake. When I try to talk to him about at least slowing down, he promises he won't push anymore, but it's insincere. I dunno Derek. I'm not asking for you to get involved. I don't need you to fight my battles. I don't even know if there's something to fight. I mean, I want him. I do. Not going slow wouldn't be the end of the world. He makes me feel good, like, it's always about my pleasure. I think it gives him a power rush, you know? I just... this year has been insane. With everything that's happened, losing Jeremy, pulling myself out of the gutter with Expression... I don't trust myself. Maybe I'm being crazy for no reason."

Once everything was out there, I regretted saying anything. I knew that I couldn't take it back. It felt like I just made ripples, when I should've kept my mouth shut. Stiles was angry enough that I was even spending time with Derek and Peter. How is he going to react to this? Maybe I should've gotten involved with him. I don't know anymore.

There's something that draws me to him, but is that enough? Is it wise? I don't know.

"Bonnie, no one has the right to pressure you in a relationship, especially when it comes to being physical. It doesn't matter if it's foreplay or oral or hands. It doesn't matter if it's not sex or if the other person isn't getting off. You're allowed to say no, if you don't want it and the other person should respect that. If that's not happening and Stiles is ignoring you, that's a problem." Derek told me.

I bit my lip harder. Something about hearing him say it, made it feel more real. It made me feel worse. I sighed and ignored the copper tang that filled my mouth. I bit my lip open and I didn't even flinch.

Derek looked down at me and rubbed his thumb over the cut on my mouth. My breath hitched, as he sucked the blood off of his thumb.

He just makes me feel safe. My mind doesn't feel clouded, when I'm with him.

"If he does it again, Peter and I will talk to him. He shouldn't be doing that. If you aren't comfortable around him, you don't have to be. You don't have to keep seeing him, if you don't want that. What you want matters. You matter. You're pack. We have your back, Bonnie. Stiles is pack, too, but he can't just force himself on you and expect us to sit idly by." Derek lamented.

"Yeah, okay," I said, nodding.

"I mean it." He promised.

"I know. Can we go to the Nemeton? It helps me clear my head." I asked.

"Yeah, of course."

Void Stiles' POV

I saw Derek and Bonnie walking to the Nemeton and I seethed. I was using my magic to cloak myself, but I couldn't control the anger that was building inside of me. This wasn't part of the plan. Derek is pack, but he needs to know his place and keep his distance.

Bonnie is mine and I'll be damned if I let him take her from me. I won't let her go.

Derek had an arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him. She looked so relaxed. I could see the black tendrils of pain that he was pulling from her, from here.

That pain should be mine. It's what I feed off of. It keeps me going. It's why she's so intoxicating. It fills her to the brim and she suffocates in it. She was made for me.

Bonnie's POV

The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I had the sinking feeling that someone was watching me. I moved closer to Derek as we sat on the Nemeton. I know that he's right. I probably should let Stiles go. I shouldn't get any more invested. There's just something about him that pulls me in.

Derek pressed his lips to my temple and rubbed my back, as he held me. I exhaled and felt so much tension leave my body.

"Do you want to tell me about him?" He asked.

"About Stiles?" I replied, wishing he meant something else. I don't know what else there is to say. I can't believe that I said as much as I did.

"Hey, relax. It's okay. I can feel your anxiety skyrocketing. Not Stiles, I meant Jeremy, but it's okay if it's too painful for you to talk about." He corrected me. I nodded and closed my eyes. I can still picture him smiling.

"He was my best friend's younger brother. He was a year younger than me, but he was so strong. He suffered a lot during his life and no matter what I went through, he just understood. You know? I-I won't idolize him. He wasn't perfect. What we had wasn't perfect, but I loved him, so much. He was the first guy I was ever serious about. He made me feel important. No one has ever really done that before. I-I found out that he was cheating on me with his ex. She died, so it was complicated. He could see ghosts, after they died. He couldn't let her go. We were broken up for a while, but it was easy to fall back into. I never stopped having feelings for him. He did some shitty things, but he was a good guy.

He was a vampire hunter, towards the end. He was trying to help us kill Silas. He was the oldest vampire... Jeremy died, because Silas killed him. I-I could have brought him back, but the price would have been too great. I couldn't stop it in time, you know? I'm the only witch my friends know. I'm not the most powerful, even with Expression... There is only so much one person can do alone." My voice cracked and I tried to ignore my tears.

"It was easy for them to blame me. It was easy for me to blame myself. I... If I were stronger, then I would have brought him back. I just. I wanted to live, really live. For the first time in my pathetic life, I didn't want to put everyone else first. I didn't think that my friends' lives or Jeremy's life was more important than mine. That's the price for a life. I would have to die to bring Jeremy back. I just wanted to live and they hated me for it. They needed to grieve. I needed that too and I couldn't do it there. I just wish that living didn't hurt so fucking much. Stiles might push me, but he always makes me feel wanted." I hiccupped.

"That doesn't mean that you don't still deserve better. Just because it's a step up, doesn't mean that you should settle for it. You're worth more, Bonnie. You deserve to live and to heal and to be happy." Derek whispered. I just cried. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"You two are awfully cozy." Stiles said, as he came walking over to us. His eyes were raging and for the first time, he made me legitimately scared. My hand found Derek's and I squeezed nervously.

"Fuck off, Stiles. I can't do this with you right now." I told him in a low voice. I swiped at my cheeks and Derek kept a protective hold on me.

"You can't blame a guy for being jealous, when we finds his girlfriend cuddled up to another guy." He replied. There was something about his voice that sent goosebumps down my spine. His eyes flashed and I knew that I wasn't imagining it this time.

"Did you see that too?" I asked Derek.

"Yes," he breathed. I took a deep breath and pulled power from the Nemeton and forest into my core. It filled me up and overwhelmed the fear that I was feeling. I was strong and I wasn't alone. Stiles can't hurt us.

"I'm not your girlfriend. I don't know what we are or what I want. We're leaving. I don't want to see you, right now." I told him. I let the extra power seep into my voice. Stiles took a step back and his expression changed. He looked aroused.

"Fuck, Bonnie, you've never looked as hot as you do now. Do you even know how you look, when you have this much power? I bet you taste even sweeter than you usually do. Won't you let me have a taste?" Stiles purred. His voice had that pull, again. I felt my resolve begin to weaken, but Derek pressed his lips to my ear and said my name. It helped me see through the haze. I could see the power surrounding Stiles now. It was dark and hazy. It was overwhelming and intoxicating, just like him.

"We're done. You can't control me." I shook my head. Derek helped me to my feet and led me away.

"This isn't over." He called from behind us. Who is he? What is he?