Meeting Carla

"As I've told you multiple times already, the decision was not mine to make, the agency decided to have me be the personal handler for the new villain, sorry Blorg, but my hands are tied, there's nothing I can do," I said with a sigh while looking straight at Blorg's face as the latter continued talking nonsense.

"No, I will not accept it, you are my handler, I don't want anyone else, so you have to come back!" Blorg's green face continued contorting into ways I didn't know was possible. His double chin, as well as his razor-sharp jawline, made for quite a contrast while his blood-red eyes made him look very creepy, but also cartoony.

Blorg was about 1.6 meters tall, he was hunched and even though one might think he was nothing special, he was actually quite muscular and decently strong. His physical appearance was able to trick many, and that was one of the reasons he was able to always escape from heroes.

"Sorry Blorg, but unless you somehow manage to rank up and become a higher-ranked villain, I doubt the agency will allow me to handle you together with my new client."

"Who is he, tell me that bastard's name, I'll rip him apart and you'll be free to be my handler again!"

"Sorry, handler-client confidentiality, I can't give you any information Blorg, you should already know this."

"It's there to protect the villains from any kind of malicious intent, like the one you are showing right now, I can't let you hurt my client, it would make it difficult for me to continue working man," I told Blorg, but my thoughts were wildly different.

Rip him apart?

Hurt him?

Blorg would get destroyed in an instant if he was to face Nacht, it wouldn't be a fight, it wouldn't even be a one-sided slaughter, it would be a normal morning for Nacht who would probably only need to lift one finger to kill Blorg before continuing his day.

The only reason Nacht wasn't ranked higher right now was because his ability had just been activated, and he still had ways to go when it came to controlling and utilizing its power.

"Damn it, I don't want another handler, talking with idiots all the time is annoying, you're the only one who gets me, man, you're the only handler I actually enjoyed talking with!" Blorg started shouting and banging on his desk, I feigned ignorance and regret, making it truly seem like I was sorry that I couldn't continue working with him.

Why does he even like me so much?

It wasn't like I did anything different compared to the others, I just never showed my annoyance at him, nor did I ever yell in frustration, but I have to admit, a couple of more weeks with him, and I'm sure that would have happened as well.

"Sorry Blorg, I wish you the best, hopefully, you'll find a good new handler to help you out, but by company policy, I have to end our call, goodbye."

"Just you wait, I'll get that higher rank, you'll be my handler again brother, so don't worry about a single thing, Blorg has this all figured out!" Blorg said with an evil smile on his face. I returned his smile with a calm smile on my own, but inside, I was only scoffing and chuckling.

As the call ended and the screen went black, I deleted his number, and because we were talking via the company app, my number automatically got deleted from his side as well, making it impossible for him to call me again.

"Finally, I'm free!" I shouted out in excitement before getting up from my chair. It was almost evening, so I was free to go. Handlers didn't need to show up every day to work, hell, the higher ranked you were, the less time you needed to spend in the agency as you would be allowed to work from home, or any other place you preferred.

It was mostly the agency wanting to give people a semblance of a normal working environment that we had to come to work, and some even came when they didn't need to as they got used to it. I actually only needed to spend 20 hours a week in the agency.

We all had phones and thanks to the incredible invention of the company's app, even the worst phone could use it, making it impossible for the heroes to break through the impenetrable defense it had and allowing us to have full privacy when working with our clients.

"Oh, you're going home, Carl?

"Ah, yes, I'm going to relax a bit, what about you, everything good I hope?"

"Yeah, yeah, the usual, congratulations on the promotion though, you definitely haven't been slacking off, already getting promoted to a grade D handler," Jonathan said as he placed his hand on my shoulder and nodded vigorously at me.

"Good job, good job man, I'm happy for you."

"Um, yeah, thanks, John." I said with a smile before turning to the side. Jonathan seemingly had to go somewhere in the agency first before leaving, which saved me the effort of acting as if I care about him and his stories.

He's a good guy, but he loves talking, and me, well, I prefer being left alone, unfortunately, I kind of have to act like I don't. I don't generally get along well with other people, which is why I had never before had great success in other companies, even while being at the top when it came to my performance.

I made my way to the elevator and clicked on the button, only to see a woman suddenly walking hurriedly toward the elevator.

"Wait, Carl, please wait for me."

Damn it, why did it have to be Carla out of all the people?!

She's a nice lady, I guess.

But she likes making it a job about how our names are almost the same, she also loves teasing people, and I'm not about to lose this job for an office fling, even though the agency doesn't forbid it.

"Hi there Carla, rough day?"

"You have no idea, honey," Carla said as she ran her hand through her long blonde hair before smiling at me.

"I hear somebody got a promotion, congratulations handsome, where are we going to celebrate?" Carla said as she seductively took a step toward me before standing mere inches away from me.

"Carla, you know I don't like mixing business and pleasure, I will probably bring a cake to the office tomorrow to celebrate."

"A cake, you know I don't eat that, this body isn't sustained by eating such food, you know?" Carla said as she made a little spin, which I do admit, made me chuckle, as well as made some thoughts enter my mind.

Hey, I'm an introverted psycho, at least that's what my psychologist told me, not a dead man, ok?

I got urges as well, I'm just better at controlling them than most.

"Have a wonderful evening Carla, I'm afraid I have matters to attend to tonight," I told Carla with as gentle of a smile as I could make before taking my leave.

"I'll make you drink with me one day or the other Carl, you can bet on that, kisses," Carla said before simultaneously saying the word kiss and sending me a kiss, yeah, she's a bit weird, but she's a nice person I guess, just a bit difficult to be dealt with from time to time.

I got in my car and started driving, all kinds of thoughts swirling around in my head. Just what the hell is this 'system', and why did Nicht give it to me?

[ I already explained it all, Jesus, you're dense as hell! ]

The unfamiliar, as well as annoying voice of the system said. The voice was high-pitched, belonging to a girl, but a bit distorted and robotic.

[ Hey, there's nothing wrong with my voice, and stop thinking so much about everything, it's like you're narrating your life to someone, it's annoying. ]

Well, you're annoying too, especially the part when you start reading my mind, would you mind stopping that?

[ Nope, not gonna happen. ]

Well, my narration won't stop either, they want to hear it, so I will give it to them.

[ Weirdo, like it wasn't enough that I was given to a normal human that has almost no special attributes, but it had to a psycho as well. ]

A functional one, don't forget that.

[ Blah Blah Blah ]

You're like a little child.

[ I don't care, now hurry up, the rewards are waiting for you, the faster you take them, the faster we can continue with the entire process. ]

The entire process, the process of what exactly?

[ Oh god, you still don't get anything. ]

If it had a body, I'm certain the system would be face-palming right now.

[ The process of making you the best villain handler of the universe dummy, that's what! ]