Amara

It's early in the morning when I open my eyes.

No sound.

I guess everyone is sleeping.

Last night, I received a scolding from Terzo despite telling him I handled the situation just fine. Still, he insisted I should be more careful and use my gun more, similar to what Damiano probably wanted.

I've never understood their obsession with my safety. The mob is the mob, and I knew I might get killed at some point. But both of them should know I won't let myself be killed as long as Marcos is alive.

Last night, Nicolas called Emilio and suggested we rest and enjoy until the ceremony -the initiation ritual -that is in two days. He emphasized that life won't be as easy once we become made men. So, he encouraged us to savor the last two days of freedom.

I thought about my siblings last night. Since joining as a recruit, I hadn't seen them at all. Usually, I would visit them at school weekly, keeping it a secret from their adoptive parents.

After leaving the orphanage with Terzo, I tracked their roots and, as they grew old enough to keep the secret, I revealed myself four years ago when Mattia, my youngest brother, turned 8, and Isabella was 11. Since then, we met weekly. I need to see them soon so they won't worry. They know I got into the mob to avenge our parents.

My ribs still hurt like a bitch, but I can endure the pain until I reach the first pharmacy. Now, if I want to go, I better do it fast and in silence. None of the people in this apartment will like my idea of roaming around, especially after hearing what Damiano said to Emilio on the phone last night. I was surprised to hear him fake it so well, though it was much less than his real reaction.

So, in short, I have to escape unnoticed. I rise from the bed and head to the dressing room, choosing some 'not-too-dark ' clothes—white shirt, denim pants, and my daily leather jacket. I can't live without it since I first took it. Ready to go, I check myself in the mirror; the bruise on my ribs is still dark and hurts when touched, but I can suppress my cries.

I go to the bathroom too, washing my face and brushing my hair with my fingers, giving it a wild but stylish look. I'm ready to go, so I tiptoe to the living room, checking if anyone's there.

No one. Good. All clear …..

I grab my boots which sit near the entrance door , and as I bend down, I wince.

"Where are you going?" a male voice whispers behind me. I turn, and it's Terzo, looking disapprovingly down at me.

"I didn't see you here," I brush off his question, glancing at him, continue to slip my foot into the other boot.

"I was in the kitchen. It's good that I was there. Now, answer my damn question."He seizes my biceps, and I wince as my shoulder joint protests against his sharp pull. If I wanted to turn to him I would have done it alone ….

"I am going to meet Isa and Mat. You can't stop me. If I have to use that gun, I will. I will follow your advice from last night." My eyes bear a dark intensity, and I glare at him as I confront him. I don't falter in my decision.

"How do you know to use your gun only when you don't need to?" He sighs, brushing his hair off his face. His eyes look sleepless.

"Don't let them know. Find an excuse." I drop my glare, my eyes begging him to cover my back this time too. He always weakens at this, and as always, smiles shortly.

"Just come back fast. If that bastard finds out I let you go, we both die." I understand he is talking about Damiano.

I hope I won't be crossing paths with him today. I mean, I pray I won't. That's the worst-case after all.

I vanishes, leaving Terzo to come up with an excuse for my sudden disappearance. Until 2:30 PM, I will not be back, even if they shoot me. I know the school ends around 1 PM. I'll have one hour to talk to them and the remaining time to make my way back.

Splendid .

The school isn't far away from the apartment, just a half-hour drive with the motorcycle. The clock in my dashboard shows 7 sharp. I will have to find a pharmacy, which is exactly what I do since I started the engine. My ribs hurt from the position I take, and my shoulder aches when I turn to take curbs.

I spot a pharmacy finally! I park quickly and try to walk as normally as I can. My ankle is sprained a little, but I can fake it. Fortunately, it's not swollen or worse. I felt it crack when I hit Stefan's knee.

A pretty lady hands me some painkillers. I told her to give me the strongest. She seemed suspicious, as if I would use them to drug myself. Well, she wasn't mistaken; I plan to take a few of them to numb my pain as long as possible.

After buying a bottle of water, I gulp down three pills and drink a mouthful of water. I feel them a little stuck in my throat, so I take another mouthful of water. Now that I've solved this, let's go and meet my angels.

Half an hour until I found the pharmacy and another half-hour until I see the school in my sight. It's around 8, and I feel like eating something.

Last night, I couldn't eat more than a handful of chips that Niko passed to me. I ate more because I knew she was really generous. Her chips are hers alone. No one touches them. Else… Let's just say you don't want to deal with a crazy monkey who happens to be good with knives too.

I wasn't feeling hungry, maybe because that doctor put me an infusion, or maybe because I just wanted to lie down in a corner like a wounded dog until I heal back.

However, now I feel like eating, my stomach growling from a few minutes ago. I eat some pastry and hang out in the park near the school.

I essentially unwind as if I were lying in bed. The only difference is that I am outdoors, seated on a bench, basking in the rays of the late summer sun. I enjoy the gentle breeze playing with strands of my hair. I genuinely feel at ease. Nothing can compare to the solitude and freedom of the forest. Even though I'm in a park surrounded by other people, I attempt to ignore them by closing my eyes. It's still perfect.

After I hear the bell, I feel excited, and the pain that is numb makes me forget that I shouldn't run. But I run towards the entrance and wait for the angels to come.

Within seconds, as several groups of teens spill out of the school building, I spot Isabella. I smile, but notice she's engaged in conversation with a boy. Before she notices me, Mattia rushes into my arms. Hugging him is comforting, even with the numbing pain I endure as he embraces my torso with enthusiasm.

He usually waits in the vicinity of the high school to go home with Isabella. I don't even know from where he appeared, but I am happy he saw me first.

"Mat…" My lips kiss his forehead, and he smiles ear to ear.For a brief moment, I observe him as I keep him at arm's length.

"I missed you, Amy." He hugs me again, and I bury my face in his inky hair. He is already up to my chest. I might be wrong, but he might have gotten taller. Kids grow so fast! You never know.

I glance at Isa, and she catches sight of me. In a rush, she likely conveys to the boy that she has to leave. The boy, whose name I'm curious to discover, hugs her, and she reciprocates warmly. An urge to pry him away from her grips me. I just need to discover his name.

She rushes and embraces me. Our similar height makes it convenient to nestle my face between her neck and shoulder, where a few strands of hair cascade down her chest. The resemblance to Mom becomes increasingly evident—the hair, the eyes, and her kind-hearted nature.

"Amy, I thought something happened to you ! You don't know how happy I am that you're okay… and alive." She whispers the last words, and I respond with a giggle.

"I am happy too." I distance myself from her so I can get a better sight of her, and she has a bright smile. How she deserves to have.

"Who was the guy?" I frown in a blink, looking suspicious at her.

"Amy, she is just a good friend of mine. His name is Rafaele. He is a few years older than me." She blushes slightly, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Just that?"

She turns to look at the boy who is sitting with his back to us. He seems to be talking to a guy sitting on the front of the car. He looks fit, and the black clothes make me question whether he was affiliated with the mafia or not. But let's just be hopeful it's just a preference of clothing.

The car reminds me of Damiano's. A jet black BMW—not many people can afford it if they are not from mob or high class. It looks so alike to his. But maybe I'm just exaggerating.

Just when I want to take back my eyes from Rafaele's back, he moves, leaving me to lock eyes with the man who was hidden behind him. Same green eyes, hair brushed back in a messy way, and black attire… I am too familiar with this man to not recognize him.

It's Damiano in bones and flesh. He looks at me with anger, and I can decipher why. I should be resting. But here am I. Kilometers from the apartment where I was supposed to be guarded to health by nine people.

He gets in the car furious, and I watch his back. I can't lie; he looks pretty hot when he's angry, especially when it's because I made him feel that. I have a sentiment of pride but anxiety at the same time. I know he won't let it slide. But also, I might as well enjoy the ride. What I have done, I have done.

Isa looks at me with a frown. "Come on, don't look at him like that. I really like him."I feel like choking Rafaele. How dare he put his eyes on Isa, an innocent lamb? All I know is that he will not come unscathed in the future if he drags her to him more then this .

"Isa, forget about him. He's not good for you. He might be from the mob ." I look into her sad eyes; my words take effect, and she doesn't even comment. She knows how much I hate the mob despite acting like one.

My eyes glance at the car that passes us, and Damiano's eyes are sending me signals that this time he will not forget my lack of protection. I look away …

Mattia seems to be lost in looking through the bag I bought. Some biscuits and sweets I planned to eat with them in the park. But by how things are, Isa will surely not enjoy our time together.

"You know what? If he hurts you in any way, just let me know. No more than friends." I smirk and arch my eyebrows with the assuring words I say. She smiles and jumps in a hug, I let out a silent gasp. Well, it's better than seeing her sad.

I will enjoy our time, while in my head, I know what's awaiting for me.

Hell or dark paradise… Same thing.