94 Unfeeling

"Well, this is where we split up." Vega said, motioning with her head towards the small city. "Kid, you come with me. Aisha and Sui will go meet up with the other Shinra machina."

.

"What are you two doing in there?" Aisha asked.

"Supplies." Vega sighed. "Information. Might run into some Izec praetor or… ugh. Even a knight from heaven would do."

"Izec?" Aisha's ears perked up.

.

"They're not opposed to mercenary work." Vega shrugged. "They're actually indebted to Gehenna by honor, so I don't have to actually pay them… thank Zaris…"

.

"No, I…" Aisha hesitated. "Ah, nevermind."

"Hm?" Vega raised an eyebrow. "Spit it out."

.

"Can you tell me more about Izec?" Aisha mumbled.

"Uh..." Vega scratched her head. "Sure, but... why?"

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"I knew someone who..." Aisha paused, searching for the right word. "Is loosely related to them."

"Retired knight?" Vega asked, eyes looking up in thought. "Clerk? Merchant?"

"Student." Aisha mumbled.

.

"Hm." Vega said absentmindedly. "That's... interesting. The order of Izec are religious order of knights, that follow Zaris. I don't know how a student would be related to them... Especially since they do most their work in the wastes."

"Do they kill demons?" Aisha whispered.

"That's kind of their whole thing, yeah."

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Aisha gnawed at a fingernail. She knew she shouldn't be surprised that she knew so little about her mistress, but... It seemed like the more and more she sought out to learn, the less and less she actually knew her. Her ears drooped at the thought.

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"That's all I really know." Vega shrugged. "A few years ago, Gehenna helped the order with a disastrous expedition into the wastes. They fucked up, and we bailed them out, so now we get to employ their services."

"Ok." Aisha said quietly.

"Alright." Vega said, frowning at Aisha's dismayed expression for a second, before turning back to the rest of the group. "Everybody else okay?"

"Sounds good!" Sui said cheerfully.

.

"Perfect." Vega placed a hand on her hip. "Remember, if you hear or see any sign of the angel, you come to me IMMEDIATELY. Leave the machina as bait. Its attracted to them, apparently."

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Aisha nodded, and turned away as Sui waved back at Vega's retreating form. The two girls began to make their way into the woods, the large dirt path slowly disappearing from view.

.

"I can't wait to see my sisters." Sui chirped. "It's been such a long time since I've seen them!"

"You know the ones we're going to see?" Aisha asked.

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"Um…" Sui tilted her head to the side. "Maybe. I was here when the first models were deployed here, but who knows if the doctor has sent more machina to this location."

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"How are you going to find them?" Aisha asked, kicking up a few rocks nonchalantly.

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"Oh, they'll find us!" Sui said cheerfully.

"What?"

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Aisha's blood ran cold as she heard the familiar whirring of a machina-engine, distant, but getting closer. Sweat dripped down her forehead as the flashes, the sounds - the pain, the memories started to flood her mind. Her body tensed up.

.

"No, Aisha!" Sui protested, as Aisha started to compress mana in her body. "They-"

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Sui was cut short by the sound of chains rattling and gunfire, as a fleet of bullets erupted from the treeline, blowing through trunks and foliage like paper. Aisha growled as she tried out one of her new skills - focusing her mana through her skin, it began to harden like diamonds, and the bullets began to ricochet off her body.

.

Her eyes suddenly went wide as a pain laced through her body, and while the spell held, Aisha suddenly spit out a large amount of blood. She looked at her trembling hands with incredulity - but it didn't last long, returning her attention to the immediate threat in front of her.

.

The bullets chafed her skin still, and Aisha grimaced as the force began to push her back, as Sui just stood shocked behind her. Her eyes darted through the treeline, until her eyes locked onto where the fire was coming from - and she began to charge towards it, spells ready in hand.

.

Aisha's eyes locked onto a shape in the distance, covered by a thin cloak. Humanoid in shape, but judging by the sinister-looking, glowing red eyes, and the chain gun attached to its arm, it was not human in nature. The eyes locked onto Aisha as she made her way towards the machine, illuminated through the trees like spotlights. It followed her movements closely, but not close enough - Aisha was always slightly off of the machine's shooting trajectory.

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Almost in striking distance of the machine, Aisha drew her sword, fully ready to dismantle the machine, but before she was able to, her body was violently yanked to the side, a piercing pain lancing through her side as something cut into her.

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Losing her footing for a second, Aisha tried to reorient herself, but soon her face was met by what felt like an entire building, and Aisha went flying, skidding across the forest floor until her torso met a tree trunk. Coughing, and clutching her broken nose, she rose to her feet, to see another machina - slimmer and sleeker in design, she caught as the machine retracted a metallic cable. It was like Sui's weapon, but with a much thinner line, and a thinner tip.

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Fist met fist, and Aisha was shocked to feel an alarming amount of resistance, as she was pushed back by the force. The machine was stronger than her! She scrambled to her feet, and her eyes darted side to side rapidly, trying to take stock of the situation.

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She growled, watching as the other machina, bulky and slow, stepped its way over to her, machine gun barrel rotating with a whirring noise. It pointed the gun at Aisha, and its red eyes locked directly onto the girl's head threateningly. The thin machine's eyes were also visible, dimly glowing a soft blue, and it too looked ready to engage.

.

"Stop!" Sui shouted, rushing over. "Stop!"

.

Both machines snapped their heads towards Sui, the sound of whirring servos accompanying the jerky, inhuman moment. Sui froze as the bulky unit's eyes trained onto her, and squeaked as the barrel of the machina's chain gun started to swivel.

.

"Designation S-01!" She shouted frantically. "S-01! It's me! I'm one of the doctor's!"

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The whirring continued for a second, but soon after, the barrel was pointed once more at Aisha, who glared defiantly at the two machina.

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"Don't hurt her!" Sui cried. "She's a friend! A friend!"

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"Unknown designation." The sleek machina hummed robotically. "Target is subject to termination. Criteria: dangerous magical signature. Designation: monster-"

.

"She's not a monster!" Sui cried, running up to the bulky machina, and gripping its cannon with both hands. "She's my friend!"

"Unknown designation." The machina repeated.

.

"S-01." The bulky machina spoke, its voice unrefined and glitchy. "F U R T H E R I N T E R F E R E N C E-"

.

Suddenly, both machines paused, stiffening. The bulky machina's machine gun stopped whirring, and the lights in its eyes dimmed. Aisha and Sui just looked at them, baffled at the sudden movement.

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Aisha looked at Sui. "What-"

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"Subject reclassification. Non-threat." The sleeker machina hummed. "Trust level 03."

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"...What happened?" Aisha whispered.

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"You have been reclassified as a non-threat." It replied mechanically. "You are a: trusted individual."

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"Hmph." Sui pouted. "I would hug you, but you attacked my friend. And me."

.

The machina paused for a second, as if processing Sui's query. "Apologies. S-01. You were not recognized."

"Mmh." Sui grumbled. "Ok, Isarra."

.

"... Designation 'Isarra' recognized."

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"That's it's name?" Aisha asked.

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"This model's serial number is IS-44-44." Isarra said. "Prototype S-01-"

"Tell it to talk like a regular human being!" Aisha complained.

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"Can you turn on MSM mode 2, Isarra?" Sui asked sweetly.

.

Isarra paused again. "...This model does not compute-"

.

"Please?" Sui asked.

.

"...Ok."

"Yay!" Sui cheered, hugging Isarra around the waist. As the two machina embraced, the sound of clanking metal echoed throughout the clearing, making Aisha wince. Sui laughed softly, and then lifted back the hood of Isarra's cloak, revealing a blank-looking face.

.

The face looked similar to what Sui's fake face had once looked like - only Isarra's was definitely not made out of a soft material. Multiple plates constituted large parts of the facade, allowing the machine to change expressions, but at even a slightly close look, Aisha could see the seams in between each plate. It gave the machina a very sleek look, matching its tall, thin frame.

.

"Why are you here, S-01?" Isarra asked. "Doctor Shinra-"

"Call me Sui!" The robotic girl scolded. "I prefer that!"

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"...Sui." Isarra corrected slowly. "Why are you here? Your task was to observe high-ranking adventurers in the capital."

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"I…" Sui hesitated. "Miss Vega told me that… there was a rogue unit."

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This time, the pause before Isarra spoke was even longer.

.

"...You are not supposed to have access to that information." Isarra said.

"Why not?" Sui demanded.

.

"I cannot tell you." The taller model said flatly.

.

"Just because you're a more recent model doesn't mean you get to hide things from me!" Sui said indignantly.

"It's not because I'm a more recent model."

.

"Then why can't I know?" Sui demanded indignantly.

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"Access is denied to your model." Isarra said flatly, to which Sui started to stamp her foot angrily, on the cusp of a full-blown tantrum.

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"I hate you!" The short girl whined. "Why can't I know!?"

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"Your model-"

"Nnnnyyyeh!" Sui cried, slamming a fist onto Isarra's chest. The younger model's eyes trained on the fist, but the rest of the chassis didn't move a single inch.

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"Stop." Isarra said softly. "Any more and you will be classified as a rogue unit. You are to obey the orders of the doctor-"

"Fuck the orders!" Sui yelled. "I want to help! I know she sent me to the capital because I would never be in any danger! Why does she hide things from me!? Why doesn't she think that I can do anything!? WHY AM I DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER MODELS!?"

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Aisha hadn't seen a single iota of emotion show on the tall machine's face, but if machina could look uncomfortable, Aisha was sure that this was the expression. Aisha looked at the other machina, the bulky combat unit, but coincidentally, it decided to look away as Aisha's gaze met it's.

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"Sui, you-"

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Isarra paused again in her sentence, suddenly freezing up. Aisha narrowed her eyes, but it wasn't as if it was the first time that it had happened.

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"There are new directives." Isarra said suddenly. "...I have been directed to support you."

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"New directives?" Sui asked, confusion evident in her voice. "From where?"

"From the doctor."

"Huh!?" Sui guffawed. "How did you get them? When did you get them? Just now?"

.

"This information is-"

"Yeah yeah, I get it!"

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Isarra nodded, and suddenly, walked directly up to Sui, forcing her down to the ground. The girl yelped as she was manhandled, and stripped of her cloak and mask, showing off the steel fibers and cables that made up her frame. She flailed slightly, squealing, but soon her arms and legs were restrained by the large frame of the other unit.

.

"Hey!" Sui squeaked. "What are you- T-this is embarrassing! I'm nakeeedd!"

"You are a machina." Isarra said casually. "You have no genitals to expose."

.

"But I have-" Sui sputtered, as Isarra's hand started to shift, forming into a soldering iron. The other hand reached into her cloak, taking out various mechanical and electrical parts. "What are you-!?"

.

"You are damaged." Isarra said nonchalantly. "I am assisting you. You do not currently possess the capacity to perform a full repair."

"W-well… maybe, but-"

"I would advise not resisting." Isarra chided. "I would fix your… 'friend' as well, but we are not equipped to heal biologics."

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Aisha narrowed her eyes and coughed, grimacing as she saw blood on her glove.

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"You appear to be bleeding internally." Isarra observed, simultaneously looking at Aisha and working on Sui at the same time. "Although the wounds are healing rapidly. Observation: We did not cause these wounds. Conclusion: your wounds are self-inflicted."

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Aisha stiffened. "How could you see that I had internal bleeding?"

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"Models starting at C-09 series are all equipped with magicule-radiation scanners."

"Thanks." Aisha said sarcastically.

"It's technology."

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Aisha grumbled, but couldn't resist looking at her hands, opening and closing them, as if the motion would give her an insight to the strange pain she felt when casting the earth spell. Isarra looked at her carefully, her mechanical, blue eyes scanning Aisha curiously.

.

"This model has a hypothesis."

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"...What."

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"You have casted a spell that was not meant for your body. The mana signatures follow a valid path, but one that is not adapted for your body."

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"So what." Aisha mumbled. "I have to modify them for my pathways? Modifying a spell takes… for all the ones I have?"

"This is simply my analysis of it."

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As the weight of the machina's words sunk in, Aisha balled her hands up into fists in frustration. Deep inside, she knew that the experiences that she had taken were only, at most, of people she had been powerful enough to kill a long time ago. And her spells were even worse than theirs - the machine was right, they were meant for bodies that weren't her's.

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She had thought that… she had learned, had improved - . But she was still incomplete. That was right… she was just stealing spells and experiences from other people. At best, she was just copying some third-rate mage. Compared to Vega, who had developed her own spells, and the machines, whose weapons were built for them…

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She hadn't evolved. This was a downgrade. It was more effective to…

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"No." She snarled, furious expression on her face. "That's a loser's mentality! I just have to… I… evolve…."

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"What." Isarra deadpanned.

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Aisha just stormed off into the forest, leaving the machines to converse among themselves, the soft buzzing of machinery suffusing into the drone of the forest.

.

.

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"It's not good enough." Aisha snarled, as she paced rapidly throughout the forest. "I have to-I have to improve faster. This isn't enough!"

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(Well, unless you want more spells, I can't help you.) Aiyu suggested half-heartedly, her voice echoing inside of her mind.

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"Thanks." Aisha said sarcastically, before shaking her head furiously.

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"It has to be these memories." She mumbled. "They have to be the key. Or else… or else… what the hell was all this for?"

.

(Maybe this isn't the correct approach to improving.)

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"No." Aisha mumbled insanely. "No. No. It is. It IS. I can feel it! I'm so close, I just- I just-"

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(Whatever. I'm sure you'll figure it out.)

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Frustrated beyond belief, Aisha fell to the ground, dropping onto the damp forest floor and wetting the knees of her pants. She shook her head rapidly, trying to figure something out, but all that came up in her head was a jumbled mess of thoughts and memories.

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"FENG!" She roared.

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"You sound like an insane person." Responded an impassive, lazy voice.

"I need help!" Aisha said desperately. "I don't-"

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"Figure it out yourself." Feng said harshly.

.

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"..."

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Aisha just stared dumbfounded at the space where her… the person once stood, but it didn't take long for the frustration and anger to settle back in. She felt like screaming. Nothing was working out - it felt like every time she got close to breaking through, it turned out to just be nothing - she had a soul now, but for what? For spells that were - that were weaker than her physical attributes?

.

It felt like nothing was going the way she wanted to. Her friends weren't helpful. Even - even Celeste, her comfort…

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There was nobody left to hug her, to make things feel better. There was no soothing hand on her head, holding her, loving her.

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Was this feeling… was this how reality felt like? Just frustration and failure?

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Aisha wanted to break down, to curl up into a ball, but she knew that at this point, it wouldn't help. The expectations were on her. There was nobody who would take care of things if she just wanted to give up.

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Aisha-

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"Hey."

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The fey girl whipped her head around, furious expression on her face as she met the voice that dared disturb her brooding.

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Suddenly, her face soured. It was just the stupid kid.

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"What are you doing here?" She asked, mildly annoyed.

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"Vega went drinking." Kayle said quietly. "She told me to go find you guys."

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Aisha squinted, and distinctly, she recognized that she had wandered back onto the main road. The sun shone brightly on top of her, searing her skin, and making her itchy.

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"Ugh." Aisha mumbled. "It's midday."

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"I'm not happy about this either." Kayle shot back, equally annoyed.

"...Whatever."

.

.

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Aisha sat down on a log in the small clearing, playing in the dirt with a long stick. She drew lines and circles, not really drawing anything in particular - but the repetitive motion brought a slight calm to her mind, something to take her mind off of the frustration.

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She was almost glad Kayle was here. The annoyance at the boy also helped quell the heat in her head, albeit replaced with an equally unpleasant emotion. Just looking at the boy made her pissed off. He was like his brother, but with none of the reliable stoicism that the older sibling radiated.

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Kayle was also quiet, but in a more petulant, teenage fashion - he wasn't thinking about anything, he was just… sitting there. Loathing himself.

.

(He should.) Aisha thought to herself. (Stupid kid.)

(Wow, you are thick.)

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Aisha's eye twitched. She could practically feel the eye roll from Aiyu.

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"So what's going on with you." Aisha mumbled halfheartedly.

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"Nothing." Kayle mumbled back, equally as halfheartedly.

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"What's your problem?" Aisha demanded suddenly. "You were so insistent on going with us, but you won't even talk to us, or tell us why, or fucking anything?"

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"It's not your business." Kayle muttered.

"IT IS MY BUSINESS!" Aisha exploded. "You're on MY team! We have to protect you! We have to-"

"Why?" Kayle demanded. "Why do you need to protect me?"

.

"What!? Because-" Aisha sputtered. "You're a kid!"

"I'm not that young." Kayle mumbled. "Old enough to get drafted."

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"You're not supposed to be fighting." Aisha sighed. "You're not supposed to die."

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"So what am I supposed to do?" Kayle demanded. "Everybody keeps telling me what I CAN'T do."

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"Go to school." Aisha mumbled. "Do regular teenage things."

"And then what?"

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"..." Aisha narrowed her eyes, struggling to find words. "...nnnn… whatever hell you want, man."

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"Yeah." Kayle mumbled. "You don't know either."

"So what?" Aisha exclaimed. "Who cares?"

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"Everybody does." Kayle said quietly. "Everybody keeps saying that I have a bright future, or whatever. That I'm supposed to… go to school, and then become… someone great. Amir told me-"

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Kayle choked on his words. "He told me, that everything they did - was for me. So that I could - I could - … Do some -- thing… I don't know."

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Aisha was quiet.

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"But what the hell did he die for?" Kayle choked out, balling his hands up into fists, as he grimaced at the ground. "I don't - I don't…"

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"So what, you're trying to find yourself or something?"

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"No!" Kayle said immediately, clearly upset. "I- I…"

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( "Adventurers have holes in their hearts." )

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Suddenly, Aisha understood. And for a few moments, Aisha's heart opened up to someone else.

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"It's going to be fine." Aisha said softly. "Amir-"

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"No, it's not!" Kayle cried, his voice started to crack. "You were right! I'm just a crybaby - I can't do anything, I'm just weighing you all down! He died- Ely, Amir, mom, dad - they both died for nothing! So I could be a failure!"

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Aisha stood up and walked up to Kayle, with the intention of comforting the boy, but evident by the way she stood next to him awkwardly, she was terrible at it.

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She was more used to being the one comforted.

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Eventually, she settled on sitting next to the kid, putting a hand on his back gingerly, as the boy tried hard to not cry. It was quite the pitiful sight, but the contempt that Aisha felt towards the boy was dissipating. After all, she had been in that exact same…

.

(He's just like me.) She thought quietly. (Except he doesn't have anyone.)

.

The thought was sobering. In a way, Kayle was much stronger than her. It had taken the love of a lot of people for Aisha to even think about improving herself. But the kid had taken his own initiative immediately, to try and make something of himself. Aisha had been content to just cry.

.

"Even he knew I was a loser." Kayle muttered. "He never taught me anything."

"He was trying to protect you." Aisha said softly. "He didn't want this for you."

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"But without this, what do I have?" Kayle said bitterly. "I have nothing but what Amir left me."

"You've got your entire life."

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"Easy for you to say." Kayle said bitterly. "You're a fey. You live forever."

"That's not true." Aisha shook her head. "We don't age, but we die all the same."

"...What can I do?"

..

Aisha wasn't terribly good at communicating, or dealing with people, or being anything but a huge asshole, but even still, she knew she was good at one thing.

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"Maybe you are weak. Or a failure. Or no good." Aisha said quietly, as she scooted next to the boy. "But… I don't think so. You're trying your hardest. And honestly, that already means that you're better than me."

.

Aisha was usually reluctant to touch men, but given Kayle's feminine appearance and mannerisms, hugging the boy was a surprisingly pleasant experience. As Aisha's arms circled around the boy's small shoulders, she felt the boy's breathing relax, and soon, the awkward air between them began to dissipate.

.

Well, until-

"This is weird." Kayle mumbled, although the way he sank into the hug betrayed the loneliness that he felt, and his desire for the intimate contact to continue.

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Aisha felt more pity for the boy. To her, hugs were… hugs were a way of telling someone that they mattered to you. And for Kayle… he probably had never been hugged in a long, long time.

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"That's as close to an apology as you're getting." Aisha mumbled.

"Whatever." Kayle mumbled back.

.

.

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It was almost nightfall when Aisha and Kayle found their way towards Sui and the other machina, the sounds of humming machinery like a beacon in the crowded forest. They seemed to have finished repairs, but on closer inspection, they were just… standing there. Eerily still.

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"What's going on?" Kayle asked.

"...I don't know."

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Aisha moved a few steps closer, and suddenly, all three machina's heads snapped towards her, startling her as they once more became animated.

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"Friend!" Sui called cheerfully. "You're back."

"Ack!" Aisha jumped. "What the hell was that?"

"What do you mean?" Sui asked.

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"You were just… standing there." Aisha said, furrowing her brows in a concerned manner. "Without… moving."

"Oh, that's just standby mode." Sui said, waving Aisha off. "We were waiting for you!"

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Aisha narrowed her eyes. "I thought you said that you were going to find us."

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"Oh, Isarra and Ciena decided to… um. Not. For some reason."

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"What?"

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Aisha turned to the other two machina. They just stared impassively as usual, but Aisha could have sworn she saw Isarra's face twitch.

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"Sui." Isarra said. "It was great catching up. But now it is time for you to go. Go back with your friends, we will stay here and continue to patrol."

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"Aw, thanks!" Sui said, hugging Isarra around the shoulders, her movement noticeably more limber. "Thanks for the upgrades, too, you didn't have to do that! I hope you've got spares."

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"Those were not spares." Isarra replied.

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"Huh?"

"The parts were recycled from non-vital systems from models IS-44-44 and C-01-44." Isarra said simply.

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"Wait, what!?" Sui said, horrified. "You tore systems out of yourself for me? Why!? Put them back!"

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"That request cannot be fulfilled." Isarra replied quickly. "They are already integrated parts of your systems. This unit advises-"

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"Why did you do that?!" Sui shrieked. "I didn't want that!"

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"What we want is irrelevant." Isarra said urgently. "All that matters are the orders. The orders are to assist S-01 and her companions however possible. That means-"

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"Where are you getting these orders from!?" Sui demanded suddenly, stamping her foot. "Isarra, I didn't ask for this!"

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"-BZZZT- access denied." Isarra said robotically, before her voice suddenly took on a more human quality. "Sui, I'm urging you-"

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Sui suddenly started to dart her head around, her new upgraded floodlights flashing through the treeline in a panic.

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"What's wrong?" Sui demanded. "What's going on?"

"You have to -BZZZT- leave, Sui!" Isarra cried suddenly. "You -I cannot give you access to this information -BZZZT- we-"

.

Aisha immediately knew something was wrong, and just as quickly as she dove to the ground, taking Kayle with her, the sound of shearing and grinding metal screeched through the forest, as Isarra's chassis was suddenly torn in two, sliced through the middle. Sui gasped in shock as the lights inside of her body began to glow, reading herself for combat.

.

Isarra's bifurcated body reached a hand out desperately, as her voice came out pained, uncomfortably human. "RUN, SU-"

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But the machina was unable to finish its sentence, before the torso was smashed into tiny pieces by some unseen force. They could only watch in horror as the air began to blur, and a familiar, massive figure came into view, red, hateful eyes, and massive metal wings materializing into view, having cleaved clean through Isarra's frame.

.

Ciara trained her chaingun directly on top of the angel, and a flash of sparks erupted from the two, showering the entire forest in an explosion of bright yellow light. Bullets ricochet across the forest, countless yellow objects flying everywhere in a chaotic mess. But even the bulky combat model stood no chance against the angel, and soon the sparks dimmed, along with the lights inside of the machina's head, as it was crushed mercilessly under a massive, mechanical gauntlet.

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Aisha could only look on in terror as the massive machina trained its eyes onto Aisha, Sui and Kayle, the destroyed parts of the machina behind it starting to glow ominously. As it began to float towards them, the pieces lifted up into the air, pulling apart and slowly being integrated into the frame of the angel.

.

The angel looked different from the last time that Aisha had fought it. It looked like it had refined its form, where there were once exposed ports and hanging wires, were now clean sheets of metal, and where there were once crinkled, jagged edges, the surfaces were smooth. It was even more massive than before, which made it all the more terrifying how it was able to so easily cloak its entire form.

.

A cylindrical shape emerged from the wreckage, a destroyed, mangled piece, that quickly warped and cracked back into a smooth, repaired shape. A few wires snapped into the piece, and soon the assembly joined the rest of the metal components, slotting into an empty space near the angel's neck.

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And when it spoke, it spoke with Isarra's voice.

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"Pitiful slaves."