32 CH 32 ~ Insecurities

"Mmpphh! A-Alex, release mee!!"

Rennie struggled to push away Alex as he tried to to insert his tongue into her mouth and she started to punch his chest to get away.

'People are watching!!! Just how did he changed from a cold person into a shameless one?!'

Rennie thought as she felt passerby's curious gaze on them, but Alex was still sucking her lips, which made her forgot how to breath because of embarrassment.

"Haah-"

Sensing her running out of breath, Alex decided to let her go and Rennie panted heavily after managing to get away from him.

'Just when will she learn to breath while kissing?'

Alex's also breathed heavily as he hugged her tightly and Rennie buried her face into his chest to hide her blushing red face.

"Young Master Ferguson, Do you believe that we are married now?"

Tristian, who was looking away in anger looked at Alex with an darken expression, as Rennie had always avoided physical contact when they were together.

But now, she let Alex kiss her; which mean they really have an close relationship.

A relationship which is closer then the one he had with her once...

"Ren, what exactly happened in the past?"

Tristian asked with a deep tone as he tried his best to hide the pain from his voice.

He searched her for years and when he finally found her again, she belonged to someone else.

"Stop calling someone else's wife so intimately!"

Alex frowned as he spoke and Marine also snapped out from her daze, who was imagining about having a boyfriend and being kissed like her boss.

'Jealous kisses are the best- when will someone also kiss me like that?'

'But this is not the time for that yet... lemme handle this bastard first!'

Marine shook her head to get into their act again, before she started to speak angrily.

"If you are so good and powerful, why don't you find it on your own?"

"We are sure that it won't disappoint you!"

Alex's blue eyes narrowed as he tried to hide Rennie away from Tristian's view and seeing him acting like this, Tristian knew he can't talk to Rennie now.

"OKAY! I WILL FIND OUT THE TRUTH ON MY OWN!!"

Tristian spoke as he clenched his fist into a ball tightly, before stomping on his feet to get out off the cafe.

'I need to talk with Ren privately, i can't talk with her with those two around.'

Where on the other hand, Alex's lips curved up into a smirk as he felt like a winner.

'He is no match for me- How dare of him to try and compete against me?'

"If you are done smirking... Can you put me down now?"

Rennie spoke in a low voice as she gritted her teeth to hide the embarrassment she felt and Alex looked at her with a dumbfound look.

"Huh?"

Only then Alex realized that Rennie's feet were off from the ground as he had lifted her up slightly during their kiss and forgot to put her down.

"...I-I didn't noticed-"

Alex's ears turned red as he finally felt embarrassed and tried to look away to hide his blushing face.

He put her down and the situation between them turned awkward one more time.

Their relationship has worsen since their marriage anniversary and Alex has been struggling with his feelings since then.

Where Rennie started to encounter more problems, with no time to solve her personal feelings and marriage.

If it was a year ago, she could confidentially admit her feelings for Alex, but now she can't do that anymore.

But now, she can neither feel the love like before or hate towards him.

Rather, She is afraid of putting his life in danger and drag him down with her.

"Ahem... Sorry to disturb but you have an meeting, President-"

Alex's personal secretary spoke hesitantly as he faked a cough to draw attention; who have been ignored by everyone till now.

"Yeah, am coming,"

Alex spoke as he stole a glance at Rennie, who was rubbing her red neck awkwardly to ease the tension she was feeling.

"W-We have works to do too... Lets's go, Marine!"

Rennie spoke hurriedly as she grabbed Marine's hands and rushed out from the cafe, leaving behind her surprised husband.

Gentleness filled Alex's blue eyes as he watched her running away from him, and a low smile appeared on his face.

'It feels good to see her acting like this again... I really can't bear her indifferent and cold attitude towards me.'

.

.

Parking garage, In Rennie's car~

Justin: "That was really a hot kiss, boss..."

Rennie: "..."

Marine: "I felt like dying because of their PDA... I can't stand this anymore! I felt so lonely after watching their kiss."

Rennie: "..."

Chris: "It felt like a movie scene... The way he just grabbed her and kissed, then pulling her up to kiss more deeply as sister didn't wore her heels today- OUCH!!"

Rennie: "Did you just meant that am short without my heel shoes?"

Everyone in the car became quite as Marine and Justin, who was in the front seat was waiting to see the upcoming drama between the two people in the back seat.

Chris rubbed his bumpy head, which has been hit by Rennie and massaged it gently to ease the pain as he spoke energetically.

"WHO SAID MY SISTER IS SHORT? HE IS JUST TOO TALL THEN MY SISTER!!!"

Rennie: "..."

Marine: "..."

Justin: "..."

'That's basically saying that she is short in other way.'

Rennie sighed as she felt too exhausted to argue with Chris and turned her attention towards Justin.

"Forget it. The preparation is done right?"

"Yeah, Young master Ferguson will be ranking in the second trending topic, accompanying his fiancee; whose scandal is number one in trending now."

Justin replied as he drove away their car and Rennie looked out from the window, letting the cold wind hit her face.

The screen of her phone lit up as she got a text from Alex, asking her out for dinner.

'Maybe he wanna talk about the recent events, it's normal for him to ask about this.'

Rennie agreed to meet him and put down her phone after sending her text message, getting lost in thoughts again.

'But can i tell him the truth?'

She clenched her dress as insecurities felt her heart.

Unlike other girls, she doesn't feel much emotions.

Everything is either good or bad, black or white, like and dislike to her.

There is nothing in the middle point to her.

When she loves, she gives her all; and when she hates, she doesn't care anymore.

The only exception in her life is Alex, for whom she is feeling mixed feelings now.

One part of her says it doesn't matter what he thinks about her, where the other part is afraid what if he pushes her away like everyone else?

Back in her hometown, everyone respected her as the next leader of their organization and next head of the family.

But she knew that the moment she falls down, they will stomp on her without a second thought.

Compete to covet her place.

She was trained to feel no emotion so that nothing could bind her down or make her feel reluctant.

Rennie's all emotions had died when her nanny, who looked after her since she was a baby had tried to kill her.

She was only six years old at that time and watched someone die right before her eyes for the first time; as her mother came in time and shot her nanny to dead.

Her little body got covered with her nanny's blood, and she just stared at the motionless dead body infront of her.

The person who whispered sweet words and took care of her like a mother had tried to kill her, only because of the money she was offered by a enemy.

Rennie used to think that her mother doesn't loves her and thus her mother was always so strict, but that event changed her thoughts.

She finally understood why her mother was like that, why her parents wants to train her and grow stronger.

As they can't change the identity they were born with, only accept their fate.

Like how Rennie can't change her family background and her identity as an underground organization leader.

She can only cover it with good deeds but her hands are covered with hundred of people's blood.

Even those people were bad, tried to harm her; but it's true that she killed them.

But everything became different after she meet Alex.

She only wanted to show him her good sides and hide the bad side for all her life.

Thus, she gave up on taking revenge and started to live while hiding her identity so that no one can recognize and come after her again.

Her dead heart which felt no emotions, started to beat for him and fill with emotions.

'But, can he accept a person like me?'