When Life Gives You Grenades, You Throw 'Em BACK!
I'm a simple guy.
All I do, binge around the internet in my rented flat, eat, sleep, and hope I don't pay my bills 'til the end of the year. Rinse, Repeat, and Recycle. You may call me simple-minded, cowardly, spineless, scum of the earth, waste of air... I've heard them all.
And you know what?
I'm going to do something about it.
I've been sitting in my flat, doing god-knows nothing in my private time, being a waste-of-air degenerate, and I've learnt something today. I'm going to do something about that shit. I'm going to do, what nobody has ever done in their lives.
I started off.
By spreading my arms away
my unholy spirit ascended from reality.
Thus, I dared to speak my
slutty sluttious
mouth
kitchen.
[breathes]
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" S H I T A M O NN GGGGUUUUUUUSSSS ."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Are they gone yet?
"..."
Good, they're gone. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about simplistic I am.
"..."
I know, I know. But it acts as a filter. Like, in a Toilet?
"..."
What? Toilets don't have- my man, when piss and shit goes in the drain, they don't like... mix each other... right? That's kinda gross, and oh lordy lord I imagined it. Why did I imagine it.
"..."
Jokes on you, I don't have a brain. Or what's left of it, anyway. Just don't mind me, I'm just cremating whatever remains of my brain with disgusting afterthoughts, can people die by imagining stupid shit all by their own?
"..."
Nah, man. They want it, but I ain't giving them. I ain't giving shit, and they can confuddle with all I care. I want my fair share of what they have.
"..."
You have no fans. That's sad I'm ngl.
"..."
Can you, like, bring me back where I was? I've basically speedran my fastest time for being the most uninteresting character in the whole entire world in the matter of seconds, so can you just... give me my slice of life? Please?
"..."
Kool, thx. See ya later man.
"..."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SEE YOU SOON', WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO ME?!