1 Chapter 1

{ Xavier Carver }

    I looked down at the street below me. A few people wandered around. A few people going on night walks, having fun with their friends, and making their way back home. My feet dangled off the building and the cool breeze disheveled my kempt light brown hair. This is it. The end. The moment i've been waiting for.

     Sitting on top of this building felt right. Even if I can't remember how I managed to make my way up here, or what building this was for that matter. I took one last look at the night sky. Beautiful.

     After a sharp intake of the cold air, I squeezed my eyes shut. A smile formed on my lips as I pushed myself off the rooftop. It's been a while since I've smiled a genuine smile, I thought as I began to fall off the rooftop into the street. The street that, even at the ungodly hour it is, was crowded.

                Bang.

My eyes shot open on impact and I was met with a pitch black abyss. My arm stung, my throat hurt, everything hurt... the pain was back? Wait. My hand twitched and I felt around the springy surface I was laying on. My bed. I sighed as my eyes fell on the glowing numbers on my alarm clock that read 3:52 A.M. God dammit. I curled up in a small ball under my thin blanket and tightly shut my eyes to hold back the incoming tears.

                 •—•

"Xavier, you're gonna be late for school!!! Get your lazy ass up and go!!!!" My eyes slowly opened and I looked around my peaceful room. Ah, the calm before the storm. The gentle sun crept it's way in through the open window and flooded my door opposite from it in pools of golden honey. The soft colour of the walls radiated some kind of calming aura that made it hard to get stressed in my room.

     Mother always found a way though.

"Xavier wake the fuck up!" The door slammed open and it seemed even the radiant sun hid from the woman. Her dark brown wavy hair completely contrasted her bright red lipstick. Almost as we contrast each other. Sorry Paula Abdul, but in this case opposites just don't attract.

     "Good morning mom." I gave her a weak smile and she rolled her deep green-grey eyes. I have the same ones, more or less. Although we have the same colour eyes, her's are always filled with hatred — at least when she's around me. People tell me my eyes aren't very expressive, it's a blessing and a curse. I'd like to think my boyfriend left me because I don't show my emotions that often. That was far from the truth, and I knew it, but sometimes it helps to lie to yourself.

    I can't really express myself too well, i'm aware it's an issue, I just have no idea how to fix it. "Xavier get your head out of your ass, I'm leaving for work."

    "Love you bye mom." I called out at her before she slammed the front door shut. Fun, school time. My boyfriend just broke up with me and my friends know. I know they know, they know I know they know. I might as well have committed a murder, 'cuz that's the level of interrogation I'm gonna get as soon as one of them lays eyes on me.

    "Here we go." I sighed as I inched one foot off my bed, followed by my other.