CH.2.What it mean to be Big Brother

After father died, mom worked hard twice as before, she worked at a family restaurant.

There I felt sorry for my mother who was working so hard, 'Is there nothing I can do?' That's what I thought, of course, someone underage should not be allowed to work.

But that doesn't mean I can't, right? I have a fairly tall body, I'm currently 13 years old, and I have a connection with a friend of my father's. He offers me a place to work, a part-time work. The job requires someone aged 18-24 years, but my friend dad can apply me there, using a fake identity and fake my own age.

"What's your name son?" Asked a manager there, and I looked at him, "My name is Juna." After the pleasantries, he showed me some places of things, as well as how to use the supermarket barcode system properly. I have to thank my dad friend.

With this atleast I can help my mother, I know my mother will ask questions, but I have explained everything to my mother, "I'm sorry, son, I can't do everything for you."

"It's fine, this is the least I can do as a big brother for my little brother. Dad is not here, so I suppose I should be the one that take care of him."

I pretty much got a bad grade at school, I had no time to learn. Everytime I go home, I just straight walk to the Supermarket, there public bathroom so there enough time for me to change. And also for my backpack, I can leave it on the supermarket Storage room, if the manager ask, I just could says, 'It's just stuff for my college.'

Time goes cycling, day and night, I age, I got my teacher mad because of my bad grade, but that fine. I want the money, I don't want the grade.

"Juna! are you serious? if you keep up with this bad grade, no one will apply YOU for a job!" Says the math teacher, "Yes sorry sir."

"If you really did feel sorry, then you should read more book! I am calling your parent."

At that time I felt so scared, because I didn't want to trouble my mother. "Please sir, don't call my mother." Thus the teacher slam his hand on the desk, "Who are you to tell me what to do!"

"S-Sorry sir!" And then the teacher point me at the exit door from the Teacher room, "Go away, I don't want to see your existence."

it felt like I can't breath, I unable to control it properly. But what can I do? so I just walk straight away from the room, minding my own business, walk to the supermarket as always, and came home after part-time.

"Where mom?" I ask my little Brother, and he shake his head as a sign of, 'I don't know.' So I patted his head, "I see, thanks." I walk to the kitchen to get my rice on the rice cooker.

And also cooked eggs so I could eat, but before that I walked into the living room again, "Have you eaten?" And he shook his head, "I see, thanks." So I cook two eggs, for me and for my little brother.

"The egg is almost ready, how about you prepare your own rice?" The egg had some chili and even small vegetables on it, it taste very good and it also make the egg a bit larger.

I put down the eggs on the table on the living room tables, the tables are Infront of the TV, so you could say my brother is eating and sit on a couch while watching TV.

"Hey why did you just eat already, have you washed your hands yet...?!" And then he got mad, "Shut up! I can do what I want!" I feel tired, so let this one slide, if i don't have that accident at school, I would slap this kid already.

After a few minute, I heard a walk step outside the door, and then someone opened the door from outside, and it was none other than... yeah mother.

"Sorry I was late, have you guys been eat yet?" My Little brother just nodded, and I walk approaching her, "Mother I just... got an accident at school." And she seems suprised, "W-What, did you have a fight at school...?!"

I think I might made a misunderstanding, "No, it's nothing like that, it just that I made a bad grade over the year, and the teacher got mad, and willingly to call mom tomorrow at school, I am sorry." I felt guilty saying this, because she already had her stuff and very busy, and then she laughed, "It's nothing new, you're not smart anyway unlike your little brother."

"Hey don't say that Infront of your own child!" I make a grown expression at her, "But even if you're not smart as your little brother, you always help us out, so it fine, tomorrow wasn't it? what is the time for meeting?"

"After... school." She was surprised, "But wasn't that you're supposed to do your Part-Time?"

"Yes, but I already called the manager that I might be late and the time for the work will be delayed and the working hours will be charged to the first shift person before me, of course the manager would cut off my pay work."

"You shall get some rest." I nodded, "Thanks mom."

After my mother told me to rest at my room, first I take a shower, and change my outfit. After that I would immediately lie on the bed, thinking about tomorrow, 'I'm so unlucky.' I know he's mad when my grades are bad, but he shouldn't be that angry, right?

I fell asleep in sorrow, morning came, school day came, and the madness began.

At this time there was a meeting between my teacher and also my mother, there my mother told me that I was taking care of my little brother, "But that cannot be accepted as an excuse!, As a parent it is your duty to take care of your child, and also take care of his personality and intelligence."

It feels like my blood is building up hearing that all, I want to punch, but I can't, he doesn't even know our suffering! my frown has been shown on my face, and then mother says, "I am sorry for my own negligence, I shall do self-introspection, and take care of my children again, and hopefully he won't make trouble again next time." Then teaching gave a sigh, and then the meeting is over, at our way to the front gate, "I am sorry." I says it to her, because it's all my fault, my own stupidity.

"It's fine, you been working hard."

My guilty is overwhelming every inch of my body, I feel sad, I been tired of this life, no, in the beginning it's my fault, I should work harder, money is important, but my mother is also important, I should began to read, even when i am sleepy. "Thank you."

"It's not the time for you to thank me isn't it? how about your part-time?"

"Yeah I get going, later mom." So I walk straight to the supermarket, and says my thanks to the first shift person, after many hours, my shift is done, I walk to home open the door, and didn't change my cloth yet, I opened my backpack, and open my notebook to read what has been taught to me this day.

'I won't make my family suffer.'