That which is a dream

A man's face covered in a purplish pink scar that looked exactly like her own stared back at her. Reaching up to her own face she felt her cheek feeling the familiar bumps and grooves that greeted her like an old enemy. It was as if her reflection took on a male persona in this man standing in front of her looking at her with a blank expression on his face.

Reaching out his hand he grabbed her arm pulling her close she could almost imagine the feel of his breath on her cheek.

"Can you love me when I look like this?" The man's voice was gravely and broken.

Being so close to his face made Elise look harshly upon his facial deformities. It wasn't like looking in the mirrors because she never gave herself a close enough look to really examine her reflection. Now being within inches from it she couldn't help but feel ashamed for herself.

How could she ever have thought about leaving her house looking like she did. No one would accept her. No one would hire an ugly miss to help around the house. Being a woman meant she could only do certain jobs there were few and far between that would accept just anybody and even then looks mattered more than they should. It would have been easier to be a man. Enlist in the army it didn't matter what you looked like as long as you could hold your own and add more bodies to the right side of things.

"Can you love me," the man's voice came again sounding close to her ear.

"I don't know," Elise whispered back her eyes widening as she took in his appearance.

The man frowned deeply before backing away and disappearing into the shadows.

Walking up with a gasp Elise looked around she was back in the stables with Reginald and all the other animals sleeping soundly where they stood or lay around the hay.

Bring her knees up she hugged them to her chest turning to her side as she felt her left cheek thinking about the man's face in her dream. It was a dream she had every few nights. Always the same. A mysterious figure danced her around an elaborate ballroom before revealing his ugly face and asking her to love him.

What could it mean? Every once in awhile Adaline had a dream interpreter come to the house and reveal mystical meanings behind her own dreams. They told of riches, fine men, and worthy sons in laws to come into their lives. It always made Adaline more agreeable in the hours that passed from her hearing such things. The interpreter always left with a pretty coin. It was all an agreeable transaction on both sides it seemed.

If only she could afford a translation herself. Elise would give almost anything for a meaning to her recurring dream especially if it could be interpreted as something as great and wondrous as Adaline's always seemed to be.

Standing on her feet Elise walked over to Reginald grabbing a nearby saddle and placing it on his back beginning the process of tightening all the straps herself.

"The meaning of such a confusing dream is that which cannot be interpreted by any young novice," Elise began in a deep voice. "That dream of which you speak can only be sung for truth by an expert of the field of dreams. Luckily it is me who you have sought out in knowing of my great skill and wondrous ability to interpret even the strangest of visions we have in slumber."

Reginald nickered into her hair as she pulled the last buckle tight against him adjusting her skirts as she walked in front of him.

"I know I sound silly," Elise muttered back in her original voice. "It would be nice though wouldn't you think? For someone to come and tell me that what I dream of meant something. Something that some unknown entity is trying to tell me and the only passage for communication came while I closed my eyes and drifted off somewhere unreal."

Reginald's impatient foot stomping brought Elise back from her thoughts. She muttered appologies as she readied herself to climb on his back.

"Elise!" a shrill voice called out from somewhere outside the barn. "Elise, I woke early and I need breakfast sooner. Elise where are you? Come make me breakfast now!"

One foot in the stirrup and one on the ground stretched Elise uncomfortably but she remained still not making a sound. The calls for her grew quiet and distant as the owner of the voice travelled away from the barn in search of her in other places. Releasing a hearty breath Elise vaulted herself over Reginald and carefully arranged her skirts on the side saddle to cover her ankles appropriately.

"That was a close one," Elise laughed quietly leaning down to speak into Reginalds ear. It twitched at her breath and he shook his head as if in agreement. "Now than to get as far off from this place before she realises this is where I was sent to spend the night."

Urging him onward they flew out of the barn like the wind itself was aiding them in their escape. The wind was a glorious thing. Picking up her hair and blowing it out of her face and far behind her. Untangling and retangeling it as she went but never blowing it around her line of sight.

Riding was the only time she ever felt free. Free from not only her responsibility, her supposed family, and everyone's pitied or disgusted looks; but also free from herself. The wind blew in her eyes making them water with it's bitter cut. Though they might have watered with unshed tears even without the winds assistance.

Lifting her head up Elise let out a scream that grew deep in her gut. It exploded out of her mouth in a loud array of unspoken words all jumbled together. Startled Reginald stopped running jumping slightly before trotting nervously in a circle breathing heavy. Elise leaned over his neck trying to even her breathing as she spoke quiet words into his ear rubbing his neck down.

"I'm sorry Reggi," Elise breathed out clicking her tongue. "I'm sorry I won't do it again. I promise."

Climbing down from the saddle Elise brushed her skirts down swiping at the dust and dirt that always seemed to accompany her outfits. Looking around the small field she saw a river running quickly down a small hill. Grabbing the reins hanging down next to her she led Reginald to the water letting him drink his fill while she dipped her hand in running her fingers through the cold refreshing water splashing it on her face.

Reginald walked further down the water bank nibbling on the weeds that grew along the edge as he went. Smiling Elise went to follow him and stopped when they neared a group of trees. Grabbing the reins she tied it around a tree. The sun beat down on her making her bodice cling to her chest like a wet blanket with all her sweat. The water gleamed under the sun almost begging her to take a dip.

Looking around she didn't see anyone for miles around a few trees in a cluster by the water and grass for miles with hills a plenty and loads of trees farther out. Biting her lip she craned her neck to the side cracking it before she began on her buttons.

Stripping down to her whites she gave another look around before taking those off too. A small smile came to her lips at what she was doing before she jumped into the river. It came up to her shoulders. Taking her hair and pulling it gently down the river with leaves and small pebbles tangling themselves in it already.

Brushing her wet hair from her face she dove down blowing air into the water and watching as they rose to the surface popping above her as they reached the surface. Raising her head above the water she sighed. It was a wonderful thing being in the water like this. It felt new and exciting.

Free it felt free. Not only from the confines of her clothes but from the confines of life. The ache of knowing she would never be anything more than a lowly servant to her own family. The burden of knowing that if she ventured anywhere public no one would be able to see her for who she was only what she looked like.

"Miss!" A male voice called out startling her and she sunk deeper in the water automatically covering her face with her hands. "Miss, are you alright?"

Muttering to herself she looked skyward pursing her lips as she did so and tried to turn to the right to peek at her intruder.

"I am fine," Elise shouted back in what she hoped was the mans general direction.

"Do you need assistance getting out what happened?" His voice sounded louder as if he was coming nearer.

Elise wanted to swear at whatever god was in the heavens orchestrating such an attack on her reputation. She had hid her clothes over by Reginald she hoped he wouldn't notice them. Or maybe she wanted him to notice and run in the other direction when he realized her state. No reason to become trapped in a marriage with some stranger dipping in the river.

"I'm fine I meant to come in here," Elise shouted back urgently. "Just cooling off please leave."

"Oh heavens are these," The voice was so clear Elise knew what he had found. She wanted to shake her fist at the heavens but didn't dare uncover her face. "Miss, I really had no idea. I mean I."

"You can just go," Elise answered nodding her head without turning around still deep in the water it splashed around her chin making her occasionally need to spit out the water.

"Not until I know you are safe and on dry land I'll just wait here until you are done," the man said and she heard him groan as he sat near the tree. Reginald nickered in response to the stranger sitting by him. "I'm turned away I swear to you I am but a gentleman hoping to gather good karma by staying and making sure a lone maiden is safe bathing in the river."

"Rather than the bad Karma that would come from leaving a very independent woman to the privacy of her simple and safe swim in the river." Elise peeked around her shoulder to see someone's back turned away from her. Without uncovering the left side of her face she took her right hand and swiped at a leaf that came up to tickle her nose on it's river journey.

He looked young in his white slightly wrinkled shirt. Looking around she saw a horse tied to another tree not too far away from Reginald snacking on the nearby flowers. His brown hair was tousled in a flattering way and it made her heart skip a beat as she watched him play with the blades of grass around him. Something about him seemed familiar her heart pulled in his direction as if it wanted to be next to him. Shaking her head she waited for him to disappear to wake up from her dream she was obviously in. But the cold of the water rushing by her face made her realize that he wouldn't disappear because this wasn't a dream this was real he was real. Her nakedness…. very real. A blush crawled over her cheeks covering her face.

"Tell me my water minx," The man called over his shoulder. "Do you often venture into the river alone...in the nude?"