Celebrity Blues
They held each other for ten seconds long. Ten seconds.
"I'm so glad to see you," I heard her say to Senti.
"Me too flower. Me too."
I looked at Senti with a frown. He smiled at her and hugged her again.
That doesn't sound right. He has a nickname for her and it is flower? He said it in English.
I stood up from my seat.
"Hey brother," I addressed him.
He looked over to me.
"Hey brother," he beamed and walked towards me.
"You two got closer yet?"
We embraced with a casual hug. We have not seen each other for a month now.
"A little," I smirked.
"Good," he winked.
"Anyway, are you two finished with lunch? When are we going to have our meeting?" he asked me as he followed after me walking away from the table.
"You two catch up with each other first. And you said you want to teach her more about her work so.. we can meet in the studio around 3pm," I told him.
"Okay brother. We will see you then."
He gave me a tap in the back and we went our separate ways out in the hallway. I turned towards the direction of the lift while they turned the opposite way towards the library. I went up and got out on the second floor. I passed by my parents' room and the studio before entering into my room to brush my teeth.
The studio is built next to my room and the rooms are connected by a single revolving door. The design is convenient because melodies sometimes struck me in the middle of the night and I could scramble to my piano and notepad in a matter of seconds.
I sat myself down in front of the piano and got back from where I had left off yesterday. I had been writing and rewriting lyrics and melodies of this song but I can't seem to get it right. It doesn't satisfy me yet.
The past three months of my hiatus were mostly spent in this studio. Ana had scolded me for being cooped up in here for hours on end. I smiled at the memory of her barging in at 6 o'clock in the morning just as I was about to doze off in front of the piano after pulling an all-nighter. I fell off my chair out of surprise but she didn't care and just ranted on. That was about a month ago.
Her words are still ingrained in my mind to this day.
"Are you being a dedicated artist right now young man or are you thinking about killing yourself? You are in here for two days now without a break. You should sleep in your bed at least. Are you even eating well? Leila told me the meals she is bringing up here are either untouched or unfinished. I wish you truly take a break son. You are in a hiatus right now for goodness' sake!"
Ana is not nosy when it comes to my business but she intervenes from time to time when I start spiraling down into the dark hole of workaholism. When she is more upset than usual (like that time one month ago) she would go on to include about my lack of social activities where I'm supposed to meet a potential wife or a girlfriend at the least.
"You are turning 30 Arystan. Isn't it time to get serious about marriage and family? Work is just work. Building a family should be your priority now."
Every time, I chose to just take it all in and appease her with a hug. I do understand her anxiety over my bachelorhood. I'm the first son after all and my friends and peers had all settled down. But over the years I learned not to force a relationship into my life. It requires hard work and in my case, it needs extra effort. I have not loved any one enough that I would prioritize her over my career, over my time in the studio. And not one had been patient or understanding enough of what my passions require of me. It only hurt the two of us in the end. Our needs and wants were not satisfied.
I let out a sigh.
My thoughts are straying to this again.
Sure. I do long to have someone to share my thoughts with, my aspirations and frustrations. I long for it so much in my loneliness that it's almost like a crushing ache but I don't want to be selfish and enter a relationship with partial commitment and sincerity. Such relationships only gave me dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
I dismissed my somber thoughts and focused back on the piano. My attention was on the incomplete song for half an hour or so but I was not getting anywhere. Frustrated, I stood up and took a dombra from off the wall. I strummed one of my favorite piece.
They say at 29, young people sometimes encounter a middle life crisis. Is this it? Why do I feel dissatisfied despite where I am in my life right now? I am at the height of my career. I have a complete and loving family. I have security, money, shelter. What is it that I still lack?
My fingers rested on the strings of the dombra for a few seconds after the song came to an end, my mind blank. With a sigh, I decided to put the dombra back from where I had taken it.
I went back to my room and got a new blank notepad. I have a hoard of it stashed away in a small cabinet. My eyes caught the folder of Ms. McCrae's contract on the top of the cabinet. I decided to take it with me to review with her. We never spoke before today. I let Senti do all the work but it seems proper to discuss this with her now personally since I'm the one she will work for.
It was a quarter before 3pm when the door of the studio opened, revealing Ms. McCrae behind it. She's alone and is carrying a laptop on her arm.
"Come in," I invited her.
"How about Senti?" I asked as I indicated her to take a seat. She took the seat opposite mine.
"He is on a call with his wife Sir," she answered.
"Oh. Okay. It's not 3 o'clock yet but it is good that you are here because I would like to discuss with you some matters. Would it be okay if I'll go over some of your tasks and discuss the items in your contract? I know Senti had already done it with you but I would also like to review it with you."
"It's okay Sir," she responded.
"Alright," I said, adjusting in my seat.
"The first thing is your salary. As you already know, you will have a fix payment of 400,000 tenge every month. It's all yours. Arysadi Management will shoulder all your food and travel expenses. If you don't know, it's kind of a subsidiary of our record label, the Arysadi Company. The company is run by my parents. Also, there will be bonuses and it's given biannually. And uh.. as of now, you are in a one-year contract with me. Resigning before the contract ends is a contract breach and it will have legal consequences. But I do hope you will stick with me until the end Ms. McCrae. Do you have any objections? With your salary, the contract?"
She shook her head at me.
"No Sir. And rest assured that I will not be breaching the contract."
"Good. And about your tasks.. as written in the contract, you are responsible in all matters regarding my schedule, concert tours, TV guesting and interviews, promotions, contracts, and magazine interviews or photo-shoots. You will also handle our team's travel, food, and other living expenses. I will give you the card later. It doesn't have a limit but you know of course that you are obliged to keep track of the expenses and make a report of it for submission to the management. Again, any objections?"
She only shook her head again.
"Ah, and I would like to inform you that I would also need your assistance regarding personal tasks like packing my luggage when we are traveling. When things get hectic, I am not best at keeping up with unnecessary concerns like what clothes or shoes to wear. I have stylists of course but that is only when I come on stage. Traveling clothes and casual clothes are what I need you to take care for me. Also, toiletries and some accessories like sunglasses, earphones, etc. Is that okay?"
She pursed her lips for a few seconds, a look of mild shock on her face but she nodded.
"You must be new to this. I'm sorry but I need you to do it for me."
"I can do it for you Sir, no worries. But this is indeed a first. I never took care of another person's personal belongings before.
"I would like to thank you in advance," I smiled at her.
She nodded and smiled back, the dimple lines forming on her cheeks. I felt hypnotized for a couple of seconds.
I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat.
"Uh, excuse me for a moment. I need to get something in my room," I told her, standing up.
She nodded without a word and I took my leave, going through the revolving door and into my room.
***********************