kpthe1
This is an extremely high quality story with great set up, interesting world and an intriguing system that I very much look forward to seeing utilized in later installments. The book opens right in the thick of the action as the protagonist is beaten up by a group gangsters and told he owes them 50k to pay back his dead father's debt. This works well to throw the protagonist into adversity right from the start as he struggles to come up with a realistic way of obtaining the money. From there, a chance discovery leads to him entering an original system world where he can exchange an item of his own possession for something he can borrow for a limited time. It's an interesting set up and I look forward to seeing how he plans on using this ability to work back his father's debt. All the right elements are in place to make this a fantastic read. I look forward to reading more.
A high paced system novel... The writings are easy... not much vanity there. Readers can hook in immediate with the clear writings. The character tones is better than I expected. I only read about 3 chapters so can't tell about the story development. But the system looks promising. Now the problems I see in the readings... - you missed a lot of punctuations. t there's apparently no comma or periods in the quotations. fixed it as soon as possible. -the story missed a bit of the depth in the beginning. readers would judge the story reading the very first chapter if they will continue or not. pay attentions to that. -descriptions. work on that. - pay attention to the little details... overall the book looks promising with a unique system... good luck
I was really into reading this book, which is amazing, because the game basis stories rarely capture my interest. However the characters and pacing of the story are really good! There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but they don't hinder the reading experience at all. Definitely give it a read!
Good Work! So another light novel, I used to read them a few years ago so well it did brought some memories. And I can say like most of them I also liked it no doubt. Anyway, about the writing quality, it is not bad. Good infact. The story development is going smoothly and about the world background, very good, just very good. You have really done a great job and I wish you will continue bringing updates.
The genre is not my type at all, yet I found myself crawling over each and every line... I'm totally in love with the way you use words and create magnificent breathtaking lines. You are indeed a successful project for a future author\ writer, and I'd love to be among your fans - The book is already in my library, can't wait for more.