1 Undeserved hurt from an Unworthy person

Yet, not so believable! 

Okay, so lets begin from where it all started! I personally believe it to start from the point i ignored you for the first time just to make sure that does it really matter for you? fortunately it turned to be yes.  Remember when you called me bestie for the first time?  Remember the dramatic life you lived since the 10th standard, be it your first boyfriend or 1st best friend? Yes, you heard it correct!

I still remember every single conversation between us. I still remember the list of your bestfriends and boyfriends. Don't be scared,  I wont disclose the names of either of the personalities including you. I am sorry to say but yes you have failed in finding a person like me and yes from the day you lost me , i never turned back with the belief of wanting you back. 

Though i remember every single date of happenings in your life, but i guess , i never failed to comfort you whenever i saw you cry (irrespective of the reason).

I never thought of you being such a person at least for me, even after the countless meetings of "5 hours" every week. Maybe you never thought you will hurt me, but you did, unknowingly (i think).  Maybe the reason was the undeserved importance i served you. You know what? I never disclosed the ocean of feelings i hold within just to make sure, you are not worried. Yes at some point of my life you was the reason of my pride, you was the one for whom i could easily ignore anybody. But now after the passage of almost a year or half, i don't even feel like looking at you. 

It's not my wishful thinking but indeed the truth that i never want you back.  I always used to believe your tears for me, feeling guilty about it that because of me they came out, so often, out of your eyes. I never heard of my brain, my friends. Yes! at that point of time, I was concerned for you because I believed in you, everyday, every night, almost every shower i took! You never saw the hurt you gave me, you know why, because i never let you see it.

You strung those letters to make up lies. Though it took a lot of time, but I still make up to do it all because  I had pride, that's what you feel, that's what i make you feel.  I have hurt myself a lot, hoping, that things would change but no i was wrong because you was never right. I was just too embarrassed to show the world that yes I failed, that yes all of them were right, all along, about you!

You know why I now have stopped running away from you? it's because of your manipulation which transformed me into a beautiful person who is now loved and adored by all. 

The one you told me to avoid, is now my biggest strength ! My legs always stood hard to stay standing with you, strong enough to find every cruel blow of yours, strong enough to find their way out of misery! This story, i thought would never end, already ended.

All of your so called "forever promises", turned already to lies, once you started feeling insecure for the fact that I will replace you. You again lied, that you weren't insecure, you lied that the one with whom I was standing was not worth my pride.  You know what the best part is, you carved the best version of me, you carved the never ending happiness of my life because you are not here to make it all worse, because you are not here to ruin things, to show tantrums. 

Even after this, you would never know and would never ever realize the amount of unmeasured hurt you served me with so much of unworthy facts , being an hypocrite, I never thought you would be!

No more regards for you, because you don't deserve it anymore!!!

letter to a person who was never mine

Penned by Saloni