11 11

I watched Cas exit my room through his Gate, my blush slowly fading. When the Gate shut, I sighed and turned away. I allowed myself a brief moment of sorrow, before summoning all of my determination and nodding to myself. 'All right! Cas is counting on me to find out what these rings are! I won't let him down!'

I had a brief moment of panic as I realized I was still wearing the pink pajamas Cas had put me in the night before. Several white feathers were still stuck to the fabric, making me panic even more. I quickly changed into my spare set of clothes, resolving to ask Cas to give me back my clothes at the nearest opportunity. I straightened out my clothes and hid the feather-strewn pajamas beneath my cot. As I did, I heard footsteps coming down the hall.

I did a last-minute check for stray feathers, before turning to the door. Mother Meridea opened the door with a smile, stepping into the room and giving it a once-over for any messiness. I sighed softly in relief when she nodded once. "Very good, Asia. Well done, as usual."

Then, to my panic, she spotted something shiny on my desk. 'Oh no! It's that gem Cas gave me!' "Oh, my. This is beautiful." She murmured, turning it over in her hands. "Where did you get it?"

'Quick! I need a good lie!' I stammered out, "A-a Dragon gave it to me." 'That was terrible! No one would believe that!'

Surprisingly, she did seem to believe me. "And by Dragon, I take it you mean that nice boy you like?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Y-yes. I-I tried to give it back, but he insisted that it was a gift."

She snorted, handing me the gem. "I wish you luck. Dragons are notoriously stubborn, and the boy seems to view you as part of his hoard. You should probably get used to this kind of thing."

I frowned, taking the gem. "B-but I don't need anything like this to be happy."

She smiled at me. "I'm glad, dear. But I'm also afraid that he's going to try his damnedest to spoil you rotten."

"M-Mother!" I gasped, scandalized.

She just laughed. "Dearie, you're going to hear a lot worse than that in your life. You might as well get used to it."

I frowned, trying to ignore the bad word. "U-um, why would you be worried about him spoiling me?"

She sighed. "The Dragons that hoard maidens always hold the lives and happiness of their hoard above their own. That boy of yours would probably rather fight an entire army than see you sad. That means that you're the safest person in this town, right now. God's protection is nice, but nothing compared to a Dragon hell-bent on keeping you safe."

Still frowning, I asked, "But, I thought God would save me from anything?"

The matronly woman sighed, sitting on my cot. "My dear, let me tell you a story."

"One day, a storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

'Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast.'

'No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me.'

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

'Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's going to break any minute.'

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. 'I shall remain. The Lord will see me through.'

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

'Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance.'

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And so, predictably, he drowns.

Since he was a pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, 'Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?'

God shakes his head. 'What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.'" She chuckled.

I tilted my head. "So… you're saying that I have to have more than just faith?"

She nodded. "Exactly. If believing in God saved everyone, then everyone would believe in God."

I smiled. "Thank you, Mother. I never thought of it that way." I paused, remembering the odd rings on my hands. "…Mother Meridea?"

"Yes, dear?"

I held out my hands and summoned up the rings. "What are these?"

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Those look like a Sacred Gear. I'll have to make some calls."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Calls to who?"

She smiled at me. "An old friend of mine from the Vatican. Her name is Sister Griselda. We were on the same side in… a very bloody struggle."

I nodded. "I see. Okay, then. Do you need me to pick up groceries again?"

She shook her head. "Stay inside for today, okay dear? I'll send someone else for the groceries. Sacred Gears attract the wrong kind of attention."

I was confused, but nodded anyway. "Okay, Mother."

She smiled, reaching over to ruffle my hair. "You're growing up so fast. Soon enough, you'll be married and have a family of your own."

I jumped slightly as I heard a mental cough through my new Bond. {Well, technically…}

{Ruby!} Gil scolded. {She was having a moment with her mother!}

{'Mother' is the title of the head nun of a Covenant.} Shirone pointed out.

I felt a spike of embarrassment from Gil. {I-I knew that!}

{Suuure you did.} Ruby said smugly.

I tried to ignore them, turning my attention back to Mother Meridea. "…remember to wear protection when you do." She held out a small pink packet. I could hear choking noises from Ruby over the link. Shirone started laughing. {S-she just handed an Angel a condom! Ahahaha!}

I realized what I had just been handed, and blood rushed to my cheeks. "M-Mother!" I squeaked. "I-I'm too young to—"

She smirked, cutting me off. "Even if you are now, just wait five years. I doubt you'll be able to stop yourself, then."

I opened and closed my mouth, my face burning. My situation wasn't helped by Shirone absently thinking up scenarios involving… that. {I somehow doubt we'll need the condom. With all the shit he's created, I don't think a contraceptive spell will be too hard.} Ruby pointed out.

{NOT HELPING!} I sent back, my face still aflame.

{Wait, I was supposed to be helping? Oh, in that case, you might want to learn how to lie better. I could give you some tips, if you'd like?}

I sighed softly, returning to reality once more. "…by tonight, Griselda should be here to pick you up. She can tell you what Sacred Gear you have. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "Yes, Mother."

"Good." She rose and left the room.

I sighed again. I missed Cas. He would have something funny to say right now… wait! {Hey, Cas, are you there?}

{…Yes? I always am, now. Turns out that Rias is in school right now. I'm riding to Kuoh Academy on Rider's Noble Phantasm. Did you know it has a sports car mode!?}

I blinked in confusion. {Noble Phantasm? Sports car?}

{Oh. Sorry.} He sent me the relevant memories, making me jump at the sudden burst of knowledge. {Now, what do you need?} I could feel his mind begin to speed up, forming multiple different possibilities and contingency plans.

I smiled softly. {I-it's nothing… I just missed you.}

His mind slowed, and I felt him smile. {I missed you, too.} He replied tenderly. {Did everything go well?}

{Yes! I even managed to find out more about these rings! They're 'Sacred Gears', right?}

{Yep. If I tell you more than that, though, you won't be appropriately surprised.}

I frowned. {But I don't want to be surprised.}

{…Well yes, but whoever is going to tell you the name of your Sacred Gear will expect you to be. If you act like you already knew what it was, they'll be suspicious.}

{Oh! I didn't think of that!} I smiled to myself. 'Cas is so smart!'

{And you aren't? Don't sell yourself short, Asia. You're smart enough to pick up the basics of Light in under a day. That's no small feat.}

I flushed. {I-it was nothing, really…}

{Take a guess on how long it normally takes for an Angel to make a Light construct.}

{U-um… a day?}

{Two weeks. Two weeks of meditation and instruction for Angels who have already discovered their Virtue to even find their Light, and then create a shaky construct with it. You were creating complex shapes in the time it would take most Angels to learn the theory. You're smarter than you think.}

My cheeks burned brighter. {O-okay…} I squeaked. I felt his amusement flowing through the link, as he slowly returned his attention to reality.

I sighed. Now I needed to find something to do until Sister Griselda arrived.

I smirked from the back of the sports car. "I didn't even know this thing could become a sports car!" I shouted to Rider over the rush of water outside. "Let alone ride over water! This is awesome!"

The white-haired Dhampir beside me clearly did not share my sentiment. Her knuckles were white as we sped over the Pacific Ocean, clinging tightly to the car door. "Why the hell are we riding to Japan! We could've teleported!" She shouted. "We were in freaking London! You don't ride from London to Japan in a Ferrari!"

Rider laughed from the driver's seat. "Maybe you don't, but I do it every week! As for you, King Millicas, this is a conceptual device, is it not? As long as the construct has wheels and 'tramples opponents', then it can take any form!"

"You can turn this thing into any wheeled vehicle on earth?" I grinned. "I think that this is going to be a beautiful friendship."

"I find the American 'tanks' quite amusing. Did you know that tanks can easily drive over a car with no problem?"

My grin widened. "I do now!"

Valerie interrupted, pointing ahead of us. "How the hell are we already there?"

Rider sighed. "I know. The ride always stops far too soon, doesn't it?"

I snorted, turning to Valerie. "Gordius Wheel can top four hundred kilometers an hour, or seven kilometers a second. The speed of sound is almost three kilometers a second. This thing broke the sound barrier a couple minutes ago. Why do you think that the sound of the waves disappeared?"

She blinked. "Wha-How?"

I smirked. "Noble Phantasm bullshit."

She raised an eyebrow. "I can agree to the bullshit part."

The 'car' slowed as it reached land, driving up the side of a cliff to reach the road. Surprisingly, Rider closely followed the speed limit while within city limits. Valerie slowly eased her death grip on the door. "Is it over?"

The car pulled to a stop in front of Kuoh Academy. "Now it's over." I told her, opening the door and jumping out.

I walked around Rider's red Ferrari, opening Valerie's door and escorting her to the school entrance. "I'm surprised that you know what a Ferrari is."

She shrugged. "I lived with my mother until she died. I know enough about the human world to fit in, if need be."

I blinked, opening the school door. "Huh. I did not see that one coming."

We walked over to what appeared to be the school office, entering quietly. After a moment of thought, I made myself appear like my father, before walking up to the desk. "Excuse me, ma'am. May I speak with Rias Gremory, please? I have a possible new student, but I need her approval."

The secretary looked up, blushing at my father's handsome face. "A-absolutely, sir. R-right away." She picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Behind us, Rider walked into the school and began to walk towards what I assumed to be his classroom. He winked at me on the way by, grinning and opening his classroom door. "I HAVE ARRIVED!" He bellowed, stepping grandly into the room. A cheer could be heard from the class.

I sighed to myself. 'Rider will be Rider, I suppose. I wonder what Asia will do when I introduce him to her?'

I glanced up as I heard footsteps approaching. Rias stepped into the office, flanked by a black-haired girl I assumed was Akeno. Neither had the XXL-sized racks from Canon yet, and I privately wondered if this version of Issei would find her attractive. While this Issei was still a pervert, he only did his most daring stunts to mess with people. When he was being his normal self he was, to my amusement, just like Izayoi. Up to—and including—his perversion.

Rias looked confused upon seeing 'Sirzechs'. "Brother? Where's Millicas?"

I put a finger to my lips and smirked. She blanched. I spoke up in a serious tone. "Rias, I would like to discuss a new transfer student with you, if you would. Do have anywhere we can go to speak?"

She nodded. "We can speak in my clubroom, Tro- I mean, Brother. Follow me."

I fell into step beside her, and allowed my illusion to drop once we had left the office behind. I turned to her, smirking. "So, how's school?"

She glared at me. "I'm not letting you know anything, Troll. You'll just use it against me."

"Ah, so she can learn!" I cackled, turning to Akeno. "And you? I've never seen you before."

She smiled back 'sweetly'. "Ara, ara, Troll-kun. I would happily introduce myself, but that would irritate my )King(."

I just smirked. "And?"

Her smile widened. "I am Akeno Himejima. It's nice to meet you, Troll-kun."

"Aw, shucks. Just call me Millicas. Rias just calls me 'Troll' because she has some bad memories of childhood."

Rias stopped. "You ruined my childhood."

"It wasn't that bad." I complained.

"It WASN'T THAT BAD!? You put pennies absolutely everywhere. Just one or two at first, but then it became seven or eight, and it began following me home. I found a penny in my sock, my underwear, three in my shirt, five in my left shoe, ten in various bowls of cereal, and one in my bar of soap." She took a deep shuddering breath. "And once, I opened my closet door, and a bucket of pennies fell on me. I was finding pennies under my things for weeks. But one day… it stopped. It all stopped."

She turned to face me, her eye twitching. "I feared for my life after that, and I checked everywhere. Everywhere. But no pennies. And then, on my birthday, you handed me a jar full of pennies and said, 'I have now given you two thousand dollars in total. Happy Birthday.'"

Akeno blinked. "That's… I don't even know what to say to that."

I grinned. "Well? Did I not give you two thousand dollars? You should be thanking me."

Both girls just stared at me. From behind me, Valerie started laughing. I began walking again, whistling a jaunty tune. Rias hurried after me, trying to regain control of the situation. By the time we reached the clubroom, Rias had nearly strangled me twice because of my antics. I was slightly disappointed by that. Five potential stranglings is my record.

Rias sighed, putting one hand on the doorknob. "Now, can you please tell me why you're here?"

I smiled pleasantly. "Oh, nothing big. Just an offer."

"…What do you mean, an offer?"

I gestured to the Dhampir at my side. "I recently rescued Valerie, here, from the Tepes Faction. She is willing to join your Peerage in order to meet Gasper again."

Rias's eyes widened. She opened the door, stepping inside. "Valerie? Valerie Tepes? Come in, sit down."

We stepped into the clubroom, following Rias inside. I glanced around the red-themed room, noting that Kiba was sitting on one of the greenish couches. He had out Excalibur, and was polishing the blade with a soft white cloth.

She sat down behind her desk at the front of the room, and gestured for Valerie to have a seat. "Valerie, right? Gasper talks about you all the time." She frowned, turning to me. "There's no way you'd go out of your way to help me for no reason. What's the catch?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Look, Rias. Just because I trolled you doesn't mean that I'm a bad person, it means that you were a spoiled brat. I only started trolling you when you insisted that I sleep outside while you slept on my bed, and then bitched about the quality of my room for the next half hour. At that point, you pretty much deserved that bucket of paint."

She glowered at me. "Your room was tiny, and it only had secondhand items! I'm just shocked that Brother would give you such sub-par living conditions!"

I raised an eyebrow. "…And you never considered that I might've asked for secondhand items?"

She scoffed. "Who in their right mind would ask to adorn their room with pieces of crap?"

The second eyebrow joined the first. "Me, for one."

She blinked. "What?"

I sighed. "When I first got my own room, I was afraid to sneeze lest the echo deafen me and shatter the ornate vases adorning my room. I don't like fancy shit, Rias. It just seems pointless to decorate your room with brand-new stuff if it's just going to get all beat up anyway. My room isn't second-hand, it's well loved."

She stared at me for a moment, then sighed. "Your living choices aside, why did you bring Valerie here?"

"Like I said, she's willing to join your Peerage."

She turned to Valerie. "Is this true?"

The Dhampir nodded. "It's not like I've got anything else to do."

Rias smiled, reaching into her desk and taking out a )Rook(. "Very well, then."

She walked over, held the Piece up, and chanted, "Valerie Tepes, rise once more and become my servant!"

Nothing happened. Rias frowned, taking another )Rook( and holding it beside the first. She tried again. "Valerie Tepes, rise once more and become my servant!"

Thankfully, this time it worked. We waited a moment for the ritual to complete. Rias turned to me. "Does she have a Sacred Gear like Gaspar?"

I smiled. "But of course."

She waited a moment for me to continue, before asking, "What Gear?"

I shrugged. "Oh, just Sephiroth Graal."

She smiled. "Oh, it's just Sephiro—wait, what?"

I started laughing at her bewildered face. She spluttered out, "H-how?"

Still laughing, I managed. "G-got lost."

She sighed. "If I hadn't seen you get lost in a straight line, I wouldn't have believed you." She started grumbling about senseless nephews and getting lost.

Kiba finally spoke up. "So, you were the one who sent me this?" He held up the now sheathed Excalibur.

I nodded. "It's a Divine-level artifact from another age. Divine, mind you, not Holy. But, like all Divine-level artifacts, you have to meet specific requirements to use it to its' fullest potential. Requirements that I can't meet. I heard about you from Ravel, and I figured that you might be able to meet them. Judging by how easily you can lift it, I assume that you meet nearly all of them."

His eyes widened. "So that's why Rias couldn't pick it up." He frowned. "Wait, you know Ravel?"

I smirked. "Engaged to her, actually."

He coughed. "E-excuse me? You're my age! How are you engaged?"

Sighing, I simply responded. "Politics."

Rias interrupted. "Why are you helping me, then? You're engaged to Ravel, and Riser is to be believed, then you're one of his best friends."

I smirked. "Consider it both an apology for something I did and an inside joke with a few friends of mine."

She blinked, then sighed. "All right, I'll take it. Just… don't destroy anything on your way out."

I nodded, and began to walk for the door. "Wait!" Kiba called after me. I turned to face him. "What's the sword's name?"

I smirked. "I can't tell you that. The blade will only obey you if you hear its' name from listening to it. Even now, the sword is speaking to you, you just haven't learned to listen to it."

He looked confused. "Listen? How?"

I smiled. "Like this." I walked over, picking up Excalibur by the hilt and drawing it from Avalon. As I did, the runes on the blade lit up and the sword hummed to life. Small whispers could be heard throughout the room as the golden glow suffused every nook and cranny. The barest hints of 'glory' whispered through the minds of those beholding it. After a moment, the glow died down and I sheathed the blade.

I handed the blade back to Kiba. "Here you go. I can't really use it like you can, though. I'm not 'noble' enough, apparently."

Kiba blinked, refocusing on my face. "Huh? Oh, right. Thanks."

I turned and left the room. As I walked down the hall, I slipped back into my disguise, making myself look like my father. On my way out the door, I was stopped by Sona. She approached calmly, flanked by Tsubaki. "Excuse me, sir?" She asked politely. "Can you please introduce yourself?"

I abruptly realized the flaw in disguising myself as my father—my father could be recognized by any supernatural creature with eyes.

I smiled at Sona, modifying my illusion to look younger and shorter. "Absolutely. My name is Millicas Gremory. Is there something you need?"

She blinked. "…I see. Is there any way you can prove your identity?"

I sighed. "I sent Rias a letter informing you of my visit. Are you telling me you were not notified?"

She frowned. "No, I was not. I did, however, have to deal with a nervous breakdown about 'the Troll' coming to visit."

I snickered. "Yep, that's me. You can check with her if you don't believe me."

"Very well." She adjusted her glasses. "However, I must ask… why are you wandering aimlessly around the school?"

I blinked. "…Shit."

Instead of going straight home, I decided to check on my Pieces first. I waited until break, and then walked into Minato's classroom. Sure enough, Rider was there too, loudly boasting about something or other. They both turned to face me when I entered, falling quiet. I grinned. "So, how's life?"

Minato shrugged. "I have no complaints."

Rider laughed. "I am helping the minds of the next generation! What greater reward could I have?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I was kind of thinking that you would be bored here, and wanting to Conquer again."

He sighed. "You don't understand. I don't just enjoy the conquering, but the culture! The unique ideals and values of each separate nation! When I conquer, I do not force my culture on them, but rather experience their own and incorporate it into my kingdom. And you've given me a golden opportunity to experience 'Nippon' from the viewpoint of a commoner!"

I blinked. 'Oh yeah, Rider even loved dressing in other cultures' clothing in Fate/Zero.' "I take it you've found something you like about Japan, then?"

He grinned. "I have been using my 'paycheck' to buy 'video games'. They are very entertaining, are they not?"

Minato deadpanned at me. "Video games, and anime, and visual novels, and even boxed lunches. He's become quite the Japanophile."

I snorted. "Talk to Rias, then. She's a Japanophile too. And how have you been passing the time, Minato?"

He shrugged. "I've been helping out Miss Shitori with her duties, as well as keeping her company on my off days."

I coughed, remembering a small detail from Canon. "You… wouldn't have happened to beat her at a chess match, would you?"

He frowned. "Yes, actually. She insisted on having a match with me on my first week here, even though I'd never played before. We played three games that day, and I won the third. Ever since, she's been challenging me to rematches, but she's only ever won two, and those were when Rider was shouting encouragement at me." His eye twitched slightly, turning to glare lightly at a sheepish Rider. "Beyond that, I have been overseeing various club activities, as well as ensuring that Rider doesn't skip his job to play video games all day."

I blinked. "Souna's face when you beat her at chess… it wouldn't happen to be bright red, would it?"

He nodded. "I assumed that she was irritated by her defeat. Was I incorrect?"

I sighed. 'And now for the biggest question in history… to troll, or not to troll?' {Girls? Should I tell him he's engaged?}

Ruby immediately sent back {Don't tell him. If Sona's supposed behavior is any indication, she's started to develop a small crush on Minato. If we tell him, he'll probably act differently around her, for better or for worse.}

{U-um… I don't think it's a bad idea to tell him. I mean, if he's engaged, then he should probably know, right?}

{The King of Souls needs a Queen, does he not? I agree with Ruby. Telling him would ruin it.}

{I agree with Asia.} Shirone said sleepily.

I checked her mind, and found that she was currently snuggling with Asia. I snorted. {You're biased.}

She just smirked. {You're just jealous.}

I grumbled to myself, returning to reality. After a moment of deliberation, I decided to hold off on telling Minato. I could, however, tease Sona. I spoke up. "Does Sona know that you are a Devil?"

He blinked. "Sona? Oh, you mean Souna. No, she doesn't. I made sure of it. Why?"

I snickered to myself. "Oh, no reason. But you may want to do so, because she's one of the gatekeepers of Kuoh."

He sighed. "All right. Would you mind introducing me, then?"

I grinned. "Gladly. Let's go."

I began to walk out of the room, followed by Minato and Rider. I walked no more than five steps when Sona approached me, looking irritated. "Didn't you say you were leaving? I heard from Rias how you like to disturb the peace, so I would appreciate if you left and stopped bothering the teachers." She gestured to Minato and Rider.

I gave her a shit-eating grin. "Oh, I'm not bothering teachers, I'm introducing you to my Peerage members. Minato is my )Bishop(, and Rider is my )Rook(. Congratulations on the marriage, by the way. I do expect an invitation."

She flushed and began spluttering as I walked away. I could hear Rider saying something in a booming voice, before laughing loudly.

I eventually managed to find somewhere I could Gate home, and stepped back into my room. Gil was still reading her book, Ruby was drawing something on a piece of paper at my desk, and Shirone was nowhere to be found. I raised an eyebrow. "What, you aren't playing poker?"

Ruby didn't even look up from her drawing. "Gil cheats, remember? She has )Sha Naqba Imuru (The One who Saw the Deep): The Omniscient Omnipotent Star(. She doesn't even have to say the name to use it, so we don't even know when it activates. Combined with her )Golden Rule( and A ranked Luck, we don't even have a chance."

I sighed. "Fair enough. Where's Shirone?"

"She went to visit Asia." Gil told me, flipping the page.

I sighed. {Shirone?}

{Mmmh.}

{Are you still snuggling Asia?}

{Hai.}

{How are you not getting noticed? You're pretty distinctive.}

She sent me a picture of a small garnet that I vaguely recognized. {SEP Field. Nobody notices, nobody cares.}

I blinked. 'I completely forgot about that thing. I never did take it back from her, did I?' {You're using an advanced magical structure that was the result of a half-years' worth of science to get snuggles from Asia.}

{Jealous?}

{Absolutely. Why didn't I think of that?}

Gil sighed, not looking up from her book. "The world would never be safe."

I frowned. "I'm not that bad, am I?"

Both girls in the room turned to look at me. "You are a bit… enthusiastic." Ruby replied, turning back to her drawing.

Gil frowned. "Well, I certainly never have a problem with it. I like having someone who cares that much about me."

Ruby and I turned to stare at the slowly reddening Gil. "Y-you heard nothing!" She squeaked, holding up her book to hide her reddening face.

{I heard everything.} Shirone corrected, suddenly very interested in the conversation. {Master, would you mind giving her a quick cuddle for me?}

I smirked, crossing the room to sit next to Gil. I leaned over, embracing my beautiful bird. She stiffened, and her blush brightened. I could almost see the steam coming from her ears. "W-what a-are y-you d-doing!" She stammered out, not moving a muscle.

I smirked. "Cuddling." {Is this okay?}

{Perfect.} Shirone hummed in contentment.

I cuddled for a moment more before releasing her, leaving poor Gil in a near-catatonic state. I walked over to Ruby, trying to see what she was drawing. I promptly choked on my own spit. "W-what the hell are you drawing!?" I yelped, taking a step back.

She frowned, sticking her tongue out in concentration as she drew in several tiny details. "Shirone got to choose Gil's Guardian configuration, so I think I should be able to design Asia's."

She was currently drawing Asia. Asia… who was wearing nothing but a delicate golden chain around her neck. All of her wings were spread, and the other end of the chain seemed to be held by the viewer of the image.

I closed my eyes, grumbling to myself. 'I am never getting that image out of my head.' I could feel Asia's embarrassment upon seeing Ruby's drawing through my eyes. {W-w-what?} She managed to squeak out.

{Between Gil and Asia, I'm starting to get embarrassed.} Shirone complained.

I sighed, answering Asia's unasked questions. {Guardian configurations are an invention of mine that Gil used to tank the full brunt of a Holy Sword for a whole month. I gave one to everyone I care about. Issei has his headphones, Raiser has a pair of cuff links, and each of my girls have a necklace. Ruby's is her choker, while Shirone and Gil have different types of collars. Gil lost a bet to Shirone, so the Gil's collar wasn't actually her choice. And now Ruby wants to design yours.}

{U-um… O-okay. T-that's fine, then.}

I blinked. {What?}

{I-I trust Ruby not to do anything too bad, so I'm fine with it.}

{You're kidding me.}

I could feel Shirone's playful smirk through the bond. {Nope. She's completely serious.}

{…I see. And, you had something to do with this decision, I take it?}

{She was feeling lonely and bored, so I Gated over to talk with her. She wanted to know a bit more about her new soulmates, so that's what we've been talking about for the past hour while you were bugging Rias.}

{I resemble that remark. And doesn't Asia have a job to do?}

Asia timidly rejoined the conversation. {Mother Meridea told me to stay inside today. She doesn't want anyone to know of my Sacred Gear. I'm just doing chores around the church, helping where I can.}

{While Shirone snuggles you?}

{A-ah, yes. I-is that wrong?}

{Ignore him, he's just jealous.}

Gil and Ruby burst into giggles at Shirone's deadpan statement. I pouted, waiting for the giggles to die down. Once it was quiet, I spoke again. {What I was going to say before all of this started was that Riser and Issei are probably having a knockdown-dragout right about now, and I'm going to join them to check their progress.}

{Okay.} Ruby sent absently, still coloring in her drawing.

{Snuggles.} Shirone sent smugly.

{B-be safe, then.} Gil sent, still blushing behind her book. {I-it would take too long to nurse you back to health, s-so it would be too inconvenient if you got hurt.}

I smirked. {Yes, ma'am.}

{Tsundere…} Shirone 'whispered' to me, smirking.

{U-um… Cas? Who are Riser and Issei?} Asia sent, seeming confused.

I sighed, sending over a few memories to aid in my explanation. {Issei is a human boy that I trained to his limits, allowing him to use Touki. He can use magic, but prefers punching things. Riser is Gil's brother, and used a Rite of Ascendance to become a Royal Phoenix. As such, he has high-level pyromancy, regeneration, and a large mana pool boasting a high replenishment rate. Even though I made sure he can throw a mean punch, he prefers magic to punching. I taught both of them part of my fighting style, which they built their own style around. Issei is a Battle Pervert, and Riser is a Mover and Shaker.}

{Master's style relies on distracting, misdirecting, or baffling the enemy as much as possible.} Shirone added helpfully. {Issei achieves the same effect by being a perv, and Riser does it by pissing the opponent off.}

I shrugged. {It works, doesn't it?} I asked rhetorically.

I pulled out my knob, holding the Gravity side up, and put it on the wall. I twisted, opening the Door into the Gravity world. {Please, let me know when Griselda arrives.}

{O-okay. Be careful!} Asia replied.

I stepped through the Door, closing it behind me. Sure enough, I could see Issei moving to punch Riser in the face just as Riser was about to activate a circle beneath the two of them. The punch connected, and a pillar of fire roared into the sky beneath them. Both of them jumped back, Issei being a little singed. I smirked, forming a magic circle beneath the two of them. "Evening, gentlemen." Then, I activated the Explosion circle.

Issei's eyes widened, and he jumped back, smirking. "Now, that's more like it!" He shouted, successfully evading the explosion.

Riser spread his wings and flew upwards, only bothering to dodge the force of the explosion. He smirked. "What, did you forget that I'm fireproof?" He called down.

I sighed. "I got your attention, didn't I?"

Issei raised an eyebrow, his ever-present smirk widening. "What, did you forget how to knock?"

I frowned in mock confusion. "Wasn't that knocking?" I asked innocently.

Issei laughed. "For us, yes. Just don't try it IRL. You'll end up blowing up something important."

Riser landed, folding his wings and raising an eyebrow. "Big words for someone who uses complex strategies that all end in 'smash it'."

Issei shrugged. "I believe that strong power should only be used on a strong opponent. It's not right or fair to use a nuke on a field mouse."

I just grinned. "Good strategy. I tend to use Nightmare when in a delicate situation."

Both boys shuddered. "Fuck Nightmare." Riser hissed.

Issei nodded in agreement. "I hate that move."

I just laughed. "Then find a way around it, then."

They both grimaced. "It cuts through my ))Aurora Shield(( like butter. How do you expect us to get around it?" Issei complained, running his hand through his spiky blonde hair.

I shrugged. "I dunno. But until you do, I can dismantle your entire fighting style in less than five seconds."

They both sighed. Issei looked up, his cocky smirk back in place. "You didn't just drop by to say hello, did you?" He asked knowingly.

Riser frowned. "You aren't carrying any new training gear, and you aren't in Dragon form, so it must be something to do with the real world. You don't look panicked, so no one got hurt. New Peerage member, maybe?"

Riser is unpopular in the Underworld, due to his reputation of being a shameless flirt, and it's rumored that he spends much of his time cavorting about town with various women and wooing women with his abundant charm, good looks and charisma.

However, while these traits do have a place in his real personality, much of his outward persona are an intentional façade perfectly designed to cause those unfamiliar with him to underestimate his remarkable intelligence and ability. Riser is an exceptional tactician, well-versed in various strains of combat theory and particularly talented in the realms of surreptitious information-gathering, covert operations and enemy ensnarement.

Issei grinned. "New sparring partner, then?"

I smirked. 'This is a significant improvement from the Oppai Dragon and the Yakatori Bastard.' "Yes and no. Yes, you have a new sparring partner, but he's a )King( himself."

Issei sighed melodramatically. "Pity. I was looking forward to seeing if it was a girl. I would've insisted that their sparring outfit should include a miniskirt, and I would enjoy the panty shots."

Riser nodded seriously. "Don't worry, Issei. When I'm a Satan, I'm going to make the all of the uniforms in the underworld include miniskirts!"

Issei gasped. "Really?"

Riser nodded seriously. Issei knelt and prostrated himself. "I am not worthy! I will follow you until the end of time!"

Once they were done with their act, they returned to their usual stances. Issei sighed, sticking a hand in his pocket. "Damn, I was looking forward to meeting a new girl."

I just sighed at their antics. "If you must know, I do have a new girl, but she's not a part of my Peerage."

Both boys turned to me, blinking in surprise. I shrugged. "She's an Angel, and a pacifist at heart. I'll be handling her training myself."

Issei grinned and fist-pumped. "Yes! Hear that, Riser? We're meetin' a hot chick."

Riser nodded. "I look forward to it. An Angel, you say? What's her Virtue?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Probably Kindness. Definitely not Chastity, though.

Issei sighed. "Would someone mind explaining this one for me?"

Riser raised an eyebrow. "What, something your books haven't told you?"

"Shut up." Issei muttered. "I like reading, so what."

I interrupted the growing argument, answering Issei's question. "Much like Devils have Sins, Angels uphold Virtues. However, while Devils gain power by indulging our Sins, Angels draw power from denying those same Sins. In other words, by upholding Virtues. The seven Virtues are Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, and Humility."

Issei nodded, closing his eyes and putting his hands behind his head. "Got it. So, this Angel of yours, she's really kind?"

I nodded. "Yep. She's also really pure, so don't cuss around her, okay?"

Riser put a hand to his chin. "I see. So, you plan to defile her in every way possible, then?"

I glowered at him. "Hell no! I didn't capture her, I asked her to be my girlfriend! That's a stupid custom, anyway." I sighed. "Besides, I made sure that she couldn't fall."

Issei opened his eyes, staring at me. "…You're going to have to explain that one for me. How the hell can an Angel not fall? I thought that was, like, a force of the universe or something."

I nodded. "It's called the God System, or simply the System. It punishes the evil for their sins. However, I managed to find a loophole. The System cannot punish for a crime that your race makes you ineligible for, such as how Angels can say 'God' and Devils can't. determines your race based on your soul, so if an Angel has a Soul-Bond with a Devil…"

"…Then everyone in the bond is immune to retribution." Riser finished. "That's genius."

I grinned. "Thanks. I thought of it myself."

Issei raised an eyebrow. "And what about our new sparring partner?"

"His name is Sairaorg Bael."

Issei's eyebrow rose. "Oh? Sounds like a Devil name. It's in the Ars Goetia, at least."

I nodded. "He's the heir of the Bael clan, even though he didn't inherit Power of Destruction."

Issei grimaced. "Ouch, that's rough. But how does he fight, then?"

I held up a fist. "Physical Touki. He used the same method we did, but he never took it nearly as far as you."

His face shifted back to the default cocky smirk. "All right, then. I think that's the last of my questions, so unless you'd like to have some other conversation, let's fight!" He held up his fist, wisps of Touki flowing off of it.

I sighed melodramatically. "But what if I have a question?"

He faltered for a moment. "Excuse me?"

I gave him a pitiful look. "As a Sensei, I worry about the personal lives of my students."

He grimaced. "Cut the bullshit, and ask the damn question. I wanna fight already."

I grinned. "So, how's school?"

"I'm bored, so bored… If I could sell my boredom I'm confident I could make a living." Issei said irritably.

"Then aren't you glad I taught you how to troll people?"

He smirked. "Hell yes. Whenever I get too bored, my buddies and I go perv on the kendo club, and I'd catch up on the latest gossip. Did you know that Kiryuu wears a sports bra to hide her real figure, and that she and Murayama would happily marry Minato-sensei?"

I blinked. "…What?"

He nodded. "Yep. Minato-sensei never scolds Kiryuu for her comments, he listens to her when she talks, and he treats her like a normal girl. She was hooked from day one. Murayama got attracted after he helped her with her style until she was the top of the club. Apparently, he was very… approachable."

I smirked. "I see. Minato is starting a harem, then."

Issei tilted his head inquisitively. "How so?"

"He fulfilled the marriage requirements for Sona."

Riser smirked. "I see. So, three girls for Minato, four for Sensei, five for me, and none for Issei. Makes sense."

Issei sighed, his ever-present smirk still firmly in place. "Hey, no need to be a dick about it. Just give it time, and I'll get my harem. Just…you…wait." He finished with a grin, giving a thumbs-up.

I laughed. "Good motivation, pervert-san. I suppose you hate being bored, too?"

He frowned. "Didn't I just get done saying that, like, five seconds ago? Besides, anyone with half a brain can see I hate being bored. Just look at what I do in class! Watching the teacher's boobs jiggle is more entertaining than what she's saying. And I ace all of my schoolwork, so people can't really complain, either."

Despite his outer appearance and frivolous personality, Issei is surprisingly highly intelligent, having solved complex problems easily and showing an in-depth knowledge about a myriad of subjects, ranging from mythologies, scientific concepts to architectures. He mostly spends his time in a library reading when there's nothing going on, showing his studious (bookworm-ish?) nature.

His arrogance does not falter, but he knows when to back down in a fight. He still respects me as his Sensei and backs down whenever he knows he'll lose, proving that his confidence is not just arrogance. One of his more surprising traits is his loyalty and care for his friends. At first apparently joining our spars for the fun of it, he eventually showed a caring nature for the people within the group and constantly makes plans to improve both the group and its power.

He is also a forgiving person so long as the guilty party is conscious of what they have done and show guilt while being forthright about it. Though, this might just be attributed to his hedonism and his lack of interest in anything not interesting.

However, Issei is actually a rather sore loser, as shown whenever a spar ended in a draw or loss. While he has acknowledged Riser as being his better, the young man began to practice and continues to do so until he can challenge him again, as he can't stand being second best to Riser.

Left unsaid are his… perverse… trolling methods.

'Conclusion: Canon Issei plus Touki plus trolling plus Thought Acceleration and a mentally challenging environment equals Izayoi Sakamaki.'

Riser sighed. "Can we get back to the fight, now?"

I grinned. "Restrictions?"

"Tier-ten and below spells." Riser answered immediately.

Issei nodded in agreement. "Any bigger, and I can't escape the blast radius in time."

I groaned. "Fine. Spoil all of my fun, why don't you." I allowed my wings to unfurl, and magic circles glowed to life around me. "Weapons or no?"

"No weapons. It makes it easier." Riser replied. "Catalysts are fine, though."

I grinned and pulled out a small opal inscribed with a magic circle. "Then, can I play Yellow Flash?"

They blinked. "The fuck is a Yellow Flash?" Issei asked in confusion, lowering his fist.

I just kept grinning. "You'll see."

'When your race literally built their culture around summoning circles, you'd think that someone would beat me to the punch on this one. But no, I'm the first Flying Thunder God in existence… albeit a short-ranged one.'

I rigged a small storage seal on the cuffs of my sleeves, dumping about a half-dozen assorted Hiraishin gems into each. "Now, who's going first?"

Riser smirked, holding up a glove-clad hand. He snapped his fingers, and the world exploded. Issei and I remained unphased, with me simply curling my wings around myself and Issei forming a shield. "Come on, man! That wasn't even a hydrogen bomb, just an oxygen one!" Issei complained, sticking a hand in his pocket. "This is quite literally the oldest trick in your book."

When the smoke cleared, Riser was nowhere to be seen. Issei shrugged. "All right, I'll admit. That's a new one. I guess you really can teach old fire-chickens new tricks."

I sweatdropped. "…I don't think that's the way the saying's supposed to go…"

He frowned, scratching the back of his head. "Huh. Could've fooled me."

I just decided to get the hell out of dodge before Riser decided to snipe me. I tossed a few gems at random intervals while running, hoping that Riser ignored them. I finally stopped half a football field away from where I started, turning to face Issei and powering up a Vector Array. We both waited for a moment for Riser to strike. When nothing came, Issei grinned. He picked up a stone, and, after cocking back his arm, hurled it at me. The speeding missile was instantly redirected off of my Vector Array. He sighed. "Really? You expect me to punch that? I call bullshit. Even with Touki, my fist would probably just get pasted."

I snickered. "What, you expect me to fight fair? I am smart enough to not let you destroy my main defense with one hit, you know."

The air between us exploded, to no one's surprise. From the smoke, Riser's wings were visible as glowing silhouettes. They were rapidly approaching… as was the sound of Issei loudly cursing. Riser burst from the smoke, before hurling poor Issei against my Array. I winced as he crashed painfully against it, his spine twisting at an odd angle. "Dude. That's just brutal."

He shrugged, still hovering in the air, his white flamed wings flapping. "What can I say?" Folding his arms, he smirked. "I couldn't think of any way to get past his Touki and barriers. I figured that you had something positively lethal that he couldn't block, so all I had to do was disappear until I could use your method against him."

I frowned, eyeing Issei's twitching form. "So… now that Issei's gone, how do you plan to break my shields?"

He froze. "Um… I… didn't actually get that far, yet. I can't use my gloves to blow you up, and I don't have desolidification… fuck. Hey, Issei, you alive down there?"

There was an answering groan. Riser landed by the blonde and tossed a blue fireball onto him. A moment later, Issei sat up, groaning. He glared at Riser. "Really? You're just going to heal me and call it good? Not cool, man. Not cool."

I raised an eyebrow, raising a hand and creating a magic circle beneath the two. "You guys do know I'm still here, right?"

They froze. "…Fuck."

I snapped my fingers, and a pillar of Light stretched into the heavens. Issei managed to jump back, landing a dozen feet back with a wince. Riser stumbled out, smoking from the exposure to Light. Flames licked his wounds, repairing them and stitching back together his clothes. I sighed. "Dude. You use your almost god-like powers of regeneration… to fix your outfit."

He looked offended. "Hey! Good fashion is important, you know."

Issei smirked, running his hand through his hair. "He's right, you know. You should always look badass when in a fight."

I blinked. "…I'm wearing a white, long-sleeved cloak and a friggin' waist pouch. I look like a geek who got in a fight with some hair dye. I'm like… some version of Shiroe from Log Horizon who decided to be a delinquent. And I'm still kicking your asses. Fashion has nothing to do with winning a fight."

Cue awkward silence. Issei sighed, putting one hand on his hip and the other in his pocket. "…I don't suppose that your shield has some convenient weak point, does it?"

I snorted. "Why the hell would I tell you that?"

Issei shrugged. "Worth a shot."

He formed Aurora Pillar in one hand, and swung it at my shield. Both techniques shattered under the opposing forces. Riser snapped his fingers, detonating a hydrogen bomb around me.

I sighed, Flashing to the nearest gem before the attack hit. "Really?"

Riser grimaced. "That's going to be a recurring theme here, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yep. Gotta get you two experience against FEAR tactics somehow."

"Fuck FEAR tactics." Riser complained. "Fucking Evil Annoying Ruthless tactics, more like."

I shrugged. "They work, don't they?"

My two opponents shared an exasperated look, before charging me in unison. To be fair, they did pretty well. Issei would tank, while Riser spammed hydrogen bombs and the occasional wind blade to throw me off. Whenever things got too intense, I would Flash over to the nearest gem and throw a random spell at them. It was about the time I started throwing glue spells at them that they got pissed off.

Our fight lasted several hours, until both of my opponents were panting in exhaustion. I grinned. "What, out of steam already? I haven't even used my Dragon form yet."

They glared at me. "It's… the Gravity world… Sensei." Issei gasped out from where he sat on the ground. "We just fought… full strength… for hours. At over… fifty times… Earth's gravity."

I shrugged. "Not my problem. You don't see me exhausted, now do you?"

Riser groaned, managing to rise to his feet. "Sorry guys… I have to go. If I don't do my homework before Kaa-sama gets home, then she'll flip." He stumbled towards where I suspected he left his Door, and eventually disappeared from view.

I turned to Issei. "You got any homework?"

"Nope." He replied, standing.

I smirked, holding up a hand and conjuring another magic circle. "Whelp, I suppose it's back to work, then. Break time's over."

"Wait up." He sighed, sticking a hand in his pocket. "Would you mid helping me figure out how to make a long-range attack? I mean, both you and Riser can pwn me from the other side of the battlefield."

I raised an eyebrow, lowering my hand. "What do you have in mind?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. How about something from Drag So-Ball."

I grinned. "Are you sure you want me to teach you how to do that?"

He blinked. "Wait, are you serious? I was only joking."

I drew my hands to my side, cupping them and using them to 'sculpt' the attack. "KA-ME-HA-ME-HA!"

The resulting attack stretched off into the distance, carving a narrow trench in the ground beneath it. Issei stared after it. "What."

I just stretched my grin to shit-eating proportions. "Please, do praise me. It took me a mental year to figure out the calculations necessary to first use Dragon Ball's so-called 'Ki', and I did it when I was three."

He stared after it for a moment longer, before sighing. "All right, I'll bite. How is that physically possible?"

"I'll tell you… but no information is free."

He sighed. "Yeah, I kind of expected as much. What do you want?"

"When you join a Peerage, I want you to continue your trolling routine until someone discovers your ruse, or you have to face Riser in one-on-one combat."

He blinked. "That was… disturbingly specific." He shrugged. "All right. I'll do it."

I nodded. "Good. Now, do you think you can understand my explanation, or do you need me to use simple terms? And are you sure you have enough energy to power the attack?"

He scoffed. "Please. I figured out how to conceptualize Touki's magic-cancelling ability in less than a week after I learned how to use the stuff. Not to mention how I managed to not only conceptualize the Third Perpetual Motion machine using my body as a catalyst. How to you think I managed to fight on par with you and Riser? Theoretically, I have limitless energy; my only issue is endurance necessary to physically channel it."

I blinked. "Huh. I did not see that one coming." I paused, then sighed. "Let's sit, this one will take a while."

We sat across from each other, and I began to explain. "Energy, by itself, is invisible and has no mass. So how do we see the hero pushing back the blast of their opponent with their own? How do they even pull the energy from thin air to attack with?"

I paused, taking a water bottle out of my side pouch and tossing one to Issei. I took a long drink, before continuing. "The first thing you need to know is that the characters harness an energy 'present in all living beings'. An energy that the androids somehow used, despite not being alive. The energy that they speak of is, in fact, bioelectricity. This is hinted at whenever someone releases a big attack—at the release of their energy, electricity is released into the air. "

I took another drink. "The energy attacks they create don't actually come from nowhere. Let's use the Kamehemeha for example. The user has to cup their hands around air and focus all their 'Ki' on one point. Since their Ki is actually bioelectricity, they superheat the air beyond gas, and into the realm of plasma. While energy has neither shape nor mass, plasma most definitely does. Plasma is actually nothing like a gas, as it is thicker and more viscous. And, you guessed it, that's how they managed to push back their opponents' beams. Theoretically, it should even be possible to recreate Goku's 'Ki Shield'."

I pulled a flashlight out of my bag. "You know how they have to spend an enormous amount of energy to create attacks, but once they're created, they can push seemingly infinite amounts of energy into it? It's a little like how light bulbs work. To convert any gas into plasma, there's a big startup energy—typically about 33kv/cm. But to sustain that state of matter takes about a tenth of the startup cost."

I put away the flashlight, taking another drink of water. "Furthermore, once a plasma arc is created, it can stretch over ten times the distance from the source. That's how beam attacks can even function, let alone be used as viable attacks."

Issei just stared at me. "All right, I'll admit, that's pretty cool. But wouldn't colliding plasma beams create black holes?"

I snorted. "Only if you use beams the size of the sun. Otherwise, the black holes can't stabilize enough to do any damage."

He nodded slowly. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to part with a few incomplete mathematical theories for it?"

I grinned. "Yes, actually, I would. Just remember, you have to keep trolling your Peerage until—"

{U-um, Cas? Sister Griselda is here.}

I paused. "Sorry I gotta go. Remember, either one-on-one with Riser or someone figures it out. Later!"

I didn't bother picking up my Hiraishin gems, knowing that my students would quickly forget about them. 'That's going to be a nasty surprise for next time. Heheheh.'

I began walking back to my Door. {Hey, Asia, do you want me to be there with you?}

{I-I'm fine. She's just telling me about my Sacred Gear. It's called Twilight Healing, right?}

{Yep. It's a pretty rare Gear to have, and you can do a lot with it.}

{That's what Sister Griselda is saying! She says that the Church can really use someone with my gift, and that I can heal people from all walks of life!}

I sighed quietly to myself. 'If I let her go… I know what will eventually happen. Fuck Diadora.' {Do you want to go with her?}

{U-um… Yes? I think? I mean… if I go with her, then I won't be able to see you again.}

{…Asia, you do remember that both of us can teleport, right? I showed you how this morning.}

{A-ah. Right. Sorry.} Relief flowed through the link. {In that case, I'd like to go and help people.}

{Okay, then. Do that. Once you're there, let me know what you think. If things ever go south, I have a foolproof way to get you excommunicated. All you have to do is heal a Devil.}

{…Okay? Why would I ever need to leave the Church?}

{I hope you never have to find out.}

She seemed confused, but didn't question me. The link slowly faded as she focused on reality.

I sighed, reaching my Door and stepping back into my room. I glanced around, noting Shirone sleeping peacefully on the lap of a blushing Gil. Gil was still futilely trying to read her book, but I could tell from the level of her blush that she was far more distracted by the Nekoshou on her lap. The adorably sleepy purr wasn't making her job any easier. I idly tuned in to her thoughts.

{…The Lap Pillow… No! I must resist! A King does not coo at cute things!} She thought to herself, forcing her attention back to the book.

I chuckled to myself, walking over and wrapping my arms around Gil. "You look really cute right now."

She eeped and I could see her face rapidly redden. "W-what? N-no I don't! D-don't say things like that, you idiot!"

Ruby entered my field of vision as she hugged Gil from behind. "I agree, she is adorable when she blushes like that. Do you think we should wake Shirone so that she can join in?"

A pair of arms wrapped around Gil's waist. "Too late. I'm up."

I could almost see steam puff from her ears as Shirone became… enthusiastic. Poor Gil was snuggled smothered with affection until she could barely think straight. She made the most adorable squeak of protest when we finally released her. She would deny that squeak to her grave.

I waited until her blush had died down, and took her by the chin. I tilted her face towards mine, and kissed her soundly on the lips. She instantly turned volcanic red, but still leaned into my kiss. After a moment, I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers. "I love you." I whispered.

"I-I love you too, idiot." She murmured, shyly averting her eyes.

I pulled away and glanced at my other two girls. Sure enough, they stared expectantly back at me, both blushing brightly. I smirked, leaning over to kiss them as well. First Ruby, who timidly returned my kiss, then Shirone, who… well.

Shirone sighed, quickly succumbing to her Gluttony as she snuggled into my chest. I smiled and began stroking her head. She started purring, her tail twitching slightly. Both of my other girls' eyes began glazing over as I continued, and I quickly found myself with three girls draped over me.

"Damn it, Shirone… why does this feel so good…" Gil murmured, resting her head on my shoulder as her red eyes fluttered closed. Ruby moaned in agreement as I continued rubbing Shirone behind the ears. I swear I heard Ruby start giving a low, rumbling chirr as I began rubbing her head as well.

{U-um… Cas?} Asia squeaked.

I froze, halting the cuddle session. I immediately realized exactly what kinds of feelings had been flowing through the link for the past five minutes. 'Fuck. I thought we were safe from the Law.' {Yes?}

{I-I feel funny…}

I blinked, checking on her 'funny feeling'. 'So much nope, there. So… much… nope.' {…Talk to Mother Meridea about it. She can explain better than I can.}

{O-okay!}

I sighed. "Girls, I think we just broke Asia."

"Echo chamber." Shirone agreed, mumbling into my chest. "We're used to blocking out the feedback, but she's not. She felt all of our feelings at once."

"How can she possibly know what a condom is without knowing what arousal is?" Gil asked irritably, her cheeks pink.

"She's naive, not stupid. She's a part of an orphanage with a bunch of older boys. She probably innocently asked one of them what a condom was when they heard them make some joke. She knows the how, but not the why." I replied, grimacing.

Ruby raised her face, which was a red worthy of her namesake. "…Please tell me we won't have to hear The Talk again." She whimpered.

Shirone shuddered in my arms. "Please no." She agreed.

Gil blinked. "Surely it wasn't that bad."

The other two turned to glare at her. "You were asleep for it, so you didn't have Cas's mom giving it to you." Ruby hissed. "She started giving us tips on how to get pregnant, so we could give her grandchildren faster."

I winced. "I'm trying to suppress that memory. I could've gone my whole life without hearing that."

"Well, can't we just block it out, then?"

Shirone sighed, her face still buried in my chest. "You try ignoring someone's sudden burst of embarrassment. You notice, and before you can stop yourself, you're checking on what embarrassed them. Then it becomes a game of 'don't think about pink elephants.'"

I sighed. "Well, at least it's not naiveté we'll have to worry about with Asia."

'I wonder how much this is going to mess up Canon? Asia is shown to be incredibly naïve, so having naïve downgraded to innocent is going to be odd. Did anyone ever bother giving Asia The Talk in Canon? I suppose Canon Asia probably got her Talk from a bunch of religious fogeys who preached that 'erections are actually boner demons possessing a man's penis' or something.' I paused. '…Or, more disturbingly, they could've told her the bare biological essentials and left everything to Rias to explain. I mean,—'

[Oi! Is this thing working?] A voice interrupted my thoughts.

I blinked. 'Is that Issei?'

[Yep. Now, I might have blown a large crater in my front yard, so, uh… you might want to fix that, cause I'm not going to.]

'…Okay, then. Riser did mention that he figured out how to use telepathy, so I guess that's a thing, now.'

I sighed, reluctantly extricating myself from the cuddle pile. "Sorry, girls. I have to fix Issei's yard."

"Fix what?" Shirone asked, reluctantly letting me go.

"Damage from a large plasma explosion."

Ruby blinked. "How the hell does that work?"

"Ever heard of the Kamehameha Wave?"

"Nope." Ruby replied easily.

Shirone shook her head, and Gil just raised an eyebrow. I sighed. "I guess that gives us something to watch while trying to ignore Asia's terrified horror about the birds and the bees. I'll ask Issei for his copy of the first season. See you in a bit."

OMAKE: Copyright issues.

I sighed. It was getting late, and I had just finished fixing Issei's lawn. I was now walking back to my Gate point, the first season of Drag So-Ball in tow. I glanced around, and abruptly came to a conclusion.

I'm lost.

'Fuck.'

I turned around, trying to figure out exactly how far out of the way I had gone. I could see nothing familiar at all. I sighed, turning back to keep walking. As I did, something caught my eye. 'Is that… a McRonalds? I swear, copyright issues make things so weird. But I can't shake the feeling that I've seen that McRonalds before, somewhere.'

I walked towards the building, slipping on my 'adult' disguise. I was hoping to get directions to the nearest subway station. If all went well, I could get to a Gate point fairly quickly.

I opened the door, stepping into the restaurant. I walked up to the cashier, and opened my mouth to speak.

I abruptly realized why McRonald's seemed so familiar.

"Welcome! Are you ready to order some food, sir?"

"Sadao Maou, right?" I asked, not entirely believing my eyes.

"Yes, sir." The employee replied. "May I take your order?"

I smirked. "I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease. Make it cry, burn it and let it swim."

He blinked. "E-excuse me?"

I laughed. "I'm messing with you, dude. Just give me a bacon cheeseburger with no sauce."

He smiled cheerfully. "Very well, sir. Step aside, your order will be ready shortly!"

I glanced around the vacant restaurant. "Since no one is here, mind if I ask you a question?"

"Absolutely, sir."

"Do you prefer Emilia or Chiho?"

His grin faltered. "Sir?"

I shook my head. "I mean you no harm. I'm just an observer, someone who viewed your life from afar. Now, do you prefer Emilia or Chiho?"

He hesitated. "I mean… if I had to choose… I'd choose both. Emilia always speaks from the heart and does what she thinks is right. Chiho is so cheerful, and she never gives up, no matter what. I don't think I would choose either one over the other."

I blinked. "Huh. Ever considered polygamy?"

His façade crumpled as he turned red and began spluttering. "S-sir!"

I laughed, reaching into my side pouch. I pulled out a polished white diamond the size of an ostrich egg, one that I kept in case of emergencies. Considering I could easily create a dozen more with minimal effort, this would be no big loss. "Here, kid. I appreciate all that you've been through, and I think that this should be adequate for services rendered."

He took the diamond, silently opening and closing his mouth in shock. "S-sir! I can't accept this!"

I grinned and winked. "Why not? It's only a tip."

His eyes widened. I snickered at his expression, and opened my wings. "I'm a Dragon, kid."

He blinked, his face turning serious. "Why would you give me a part of your hoard?"

I laughed scornfully. "Never in a million years would I give you a part of my hoard. I would die first. But that's not a part of my hoard." I smiled wistfully, folding my wings. "Treasure's nothing on what I protect."

Chiho bounced up to the counter, smiling and setting down my burger. "Your order is ready, sir."

I saw Sadou subtly use a glamour on the gem, making it appear as a basked labeled 'tips' and setting it beneath the register. I picked up my burger and walked away, chuckling. 'I suppose directions to the subway won't help in another dimension, will they?' I thought rhetorically. 'Oh, well. I guess it's just time to get lost.'

END