2 Back Home

"We successfully extracted the Two-tailed, Four-tailed, and Seven-tailed beasts. Our plan of creating world peace is almost half done." A purple-eyed person's hologram spoke out, "Would you start our assembly with a report, Kakuzu?"

"Yes, Pain-sama." another shadow spoke out, "Iwagakure sent us a proposal with a hefty price for that woman's head. Kaname Uchiha is too big of a thorn in their side - Old Ōnoki hates Konoha, but Uchihas have a special place in his heart. He offered all of Iwagakure's resources and men in eliminating that woman."

"Not so fast, Kakuzu. Kaname is mine..." The third shadow hissed in anger.

"Ahaha! She angered this poor snakeling!" An enormous man with a two-handed sword on his back laughed out, "What did she do to piss you so much, Orochimaru?"

"Shut it, blobfish! You damn know what she did! You saw it yourself!" The Snake Sannin growled out, "Not one of you would survive her retaliation for longer than a week. She is harassing me for the last two years - all my bases were destroyed the first month, my spy network is nonexistent, and my subjects got scattered across the Elemental Nations. I can't even sleep at night worrying she will send another one of her exploding seals. But I did survive, and now I have a plan on how to get her back."

"EXPLOSION?!" a projection of a short man with a ponytail shouted out.

"What do you mean by that, Orochimaru?" Akatsuki's leader requested, omitting the outburst of his Akatsuki's newest member.

"She is too strong for us to deal with head-on. That's why I will do what she tried to do to me - I will break her heart."

"Muhahaha! I like it! I love to see my sacrifices squirm." A scythe-wielding man laughed maniacally.

"Shut up, Hidan. Let the grown-ups do the talking." His masked partner chided.

"That will only make Kaname Uchiha turn her full attention on us. I want Akatsuki to stay hidden until we gather all the Tailed Beasts." The Rinnegan user shot the idea down.

"Huhuhu, you're way too late for that. A wounded and raging animal may be more dangerous, but it is also much more predictable. At the end of the day, my plan is required for Akatsuki to reach its goal."

"Hmm?" The leader hummed in question.

"Kaname's fiancé travels between Konoha and Kiri each month as an envoy between the villages. I believe you wanted to capture that man for the extraction of his chakra monster, isn't that right? In her grief, Kaname may lower her defenses around nine-tails jinchūriki." Orochimaru smugly replied.

"And how would you deal with Kaname's instant teleportation, fool? Fighting a jinchūriki takes time and resources - she would be on our heads in seconds."

"Oh my dear Kakuzu, how do you think I survived until now? I found a way to reduce the accuracy of her Hikōjin. But I will need some time to perfect that seal. Anyway, capturing Six-tailed jinchūriki will require someone that can whisk him away almost instantly." Orochimaru's eyes turned towards an orange-masked man.

"Oh no, help me, Pain-sama! Orochimaru-san is scary!" the man cried out in fear.

"Huhuhu, don't worry, Orange-kun. I know you can do it." the snake-like man's chuckle sent a shiver down Obito's back.

'He knows who I am?! What else that snake found out?!'

"Now that-*Crackle*" Sannin's projection started shaking uncontrollably, "Not *Crackle*king again!"

"You still with us, snakeling?" Kisame called out, looking straight at his temporary partner. In a second, Orochimaru's projection was swallowed by a bright light that illuminated Akatsuki's hideout. When the light gave away, in place of Orochimaru stood a black figure of a beautiful red-eyed woman.

"Hey there, boys." her eyes scanned around the projections in the cave, recognizing a few silhouettes that she fought against, "And you, new small fries."

"Small fries?!" Hidan seethed.

"Kaname Uchiha... You are a real annoyance." Akatsuki's leader growled out, "What happened with Orochimaru?"

"Annoyance? That hurts my feelings. I know people would call me troublesome, but never an annoyance, Nagato-kun." she chuckled, "That worm got away again, heh, he gets better and better at it."

"Small fry..." Kakuzu's partner repeated, "For that sin, Jashin-sama will punish you!"

"Hidan... Shut the hell up!"

"Hahaha, your new partner? You're changing them like socks, Tentacle-kun. Did you tell him what happened with the last two?"

"I will have my revenge, Kaname Uchiha." The oldest Akatsuki member shot back.

"Enough!" Pain shouted out, "I wouldn't put it past you, but I doubt you revealed yourself only to bicker with us. What do you want?"

"Oh, it's easy. You're hunting down jinchūrikis, and as you know, I don't like that. So, in two years tops, I will erase Akatsuki from the Elemental Nations. See ya!" Her declaration and quick retreat made all Akatsuki members speechless for a long minute.

"... Hahahaha! I really like that girl! She has bigger balls than all of you combined! Hahaha!" Kisame roared with laughter, breaking the silence.

"Kisame." Their leader spoke, "Find Orochimaru. If it's possible, we need to strike first."

----

"It was what? Two and a half years?" A towering white-haired man groaned out with a smirk on his face.

"Three years, two months, and twenty-five days, Jiraiya-sensei." a handsome young man walked next to him, his long black hair and lean muscular body inadvertently pulled many eyes of the farrier sex on the streets of Konoha.

"Wow, Itachi-kun. I never expected you would count it."

Itachi shrugged his shoulders, "You should be more precise, Jiraiya-sensei. It's a miracle we survived some of your less successful ventures into brothels."

"Those were to meet with my contacts..." The Toad Sannin grumbled in reply.

"Yosha~!" a sixteen-year-old teen put his traveling backpack on the ground and jumped on top of the closeby utility pole.

"Hehe, he is rather cheerful today..."

"We were waiting three years to see our close ones, Sensei. Give him some slack. I know you can't wait to visit the onsen for, you know, your hobby."

Their youngest companion had blonde, pointy hair. Their arduous adventures over the last two years eliminated any baby fat from his face. The loud blonde wore dark sweatpants and a long-sleeved black shirt with a bright orange zipper covering his broad arms and defined muscles. The teen extended his arms above his head and bellowed, "Ah! It's good to be back ~ttebayo! This place hasn't changed a- Pfft!"

"What's up, Naruto?" The old man called out.

"Someone put up granny Tsunade's face on the monument!"

"You know that she is a Hokage, right? It was only a question of time until someone chiseled her face on the freaking Hokage's Mountain."

Naruto jumped down back on the ground, "You don't understand, Ero Sennin. Go check it out yourself!"

"Hmm?" Jiraiya jumped up and instantly fell to the ground as if something struck him down, "Who would be insane enough to paint wrinkles on her face?!"

"Heh, I know one person gall enough to do just that, Jiraiya-sensei." Itachi deadpanned.

"Hehehe, Sis is having fun." Naruto laughed out.

"You have grown a lot, haven't you, Naruto?" A man's voice interrupted the trio.

"Huh?" The boy turned around and looked at the source of the voice - the man sitting on top of a small stall's roof, "Scarecrow-sensei!"

"Yo!" Kakashi greeted him, peeling his eyes away from the red book only for a second.

"Hehehe," Naruto jumped up to his team's captain, "You haven't changed a bit, Sensei. Ah, right, I have a present for you!" he pulled out a small green book from his back pocket.

"THAT'S A-!" The man with gravity-defying hair gasped in shock - the book in Naruto's hand appeared sacred to his eyes, extending his hand towards the newest part of his favorite stories, "I-I couldn't find that in any bookstore."

"Hehe, Ero Sennin published it a week ago. It's boring, but I knew you would like to have it. Take it."

Kakashi's hand trembled as he reached towards the book, "H-Hiruzen-san asked me to stop reading Icha-Icha during work... but it's a gift, I can't refuse a good-natured gift from my student..." he mumbled nervously.

Just a second before the masked man caught the smut into his hand, a black shadow swiped the book out of Naruto's hand.

"Heh," Naruto snorted, "I knew you were here, Teme."

"Hmph." Sasuke smirked, confidently leaning against the closeby building's wall, "Doubtful, Dobe. And you, Kakashi, Hiruzen-sama ordered you to leave those smut stories to read at home."

"Are you into cosplay or something? You look like a smaller version of Scarecrow-Sensei ~dattebayo." Naruto snorted with laughter.

Brushing aside his long raven-black hair from his forehead, the young Uchiha shrugged his shoulders, "That's a standard Jōnin uniform, Dobe."

"Say wha~?!"

"Hmph, you are lagging behind - I'm a Tokubetsu Jōnin." Sasuke smirked at his rival.

"That's so not fair! I wasn't here for like three years ~ttebayo!"

"Saying that, isn't there someone waiting for you, Dobe?"

"Right! Ichiraku Ramen, here I come!" Naruto yelled out.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his best friend, "Do you want me to kick your arse?"

"Hehehe. I'm joking! I have to go, meet ya' later!" Naruto bolted towards the outskirts of the village.

------

Naruto entered an inconspicuous house and took a long, deep breath, 'Ah, I missed this warmness, and this smell, it's so calmin- WHOA!' he covered his family jewels by catching a brown-haired missile that was armed to destroy them.

"You not mommy! Who you?" a small girl with a short side-ponytail and a toothy smile greeted him. Naruto noticed her cute orange skirt was soiled by dirt. His little sister seemed to be a two-legged reincarnation of chaos - before he was even able to answer the question, she started zooming around the corridor, looking for something.

'Hehehe. Kushi-chan has grown so much...'

Kushina dived beneath a small cabinet, drawing a spider the size of her palm. Naruto expected his toddler sister to panic - instead, she looked straight at the eight-legged hairy arachnid for several seconds and threw it over her arm, shouting, "Not mommy!"

"You're playing hide and seek with your mommy? Do you want me to help you ~ttebayo?" he offered.

"That cheating!"

"Hehe, I'm a shinobi, so rules don't apply to me."

"Shinobi? Like mommy and daddy? They stronger!"

"Yeah, no doubt about it. Especially your mommy ~dattebayo."

"Hehehe, mommy super scary angry. Okay, I like you, help, Onii-chan!" The girl laughed.

His younger sister's words tugged at his heart. Naruto did not expect how much he needed to hear this young girl call him her's Onii-chan. By flaring his chakra, the blonde sent out a pulse that gave him the location of all other living beings in the building.

"Cool!" the girl cheered on, feeling the wind sweep across her face.

"Hami-chan is in the garden, two people are in the living room, and the last human is... in the left bedroom at the end of the corridor."

"Oh no! Mommy can't find super-secret cubby!" Kushina bolted down the corridor further into the house.

"He-hahaha. So lively." Naruto chuckled, following slowly after his baby sister.

"Hi, Naruto. Welcome back home." Utakata greeted his fellow jinchūriki, trying to push his son forward, as he was shyly hiding behind his clothes.

"Yo, Utakata. You can't imagine how much I awaited this day ~ttebayo."

"Haru, don't hide - Naruto is your big brother - we talked about him before, say hi." The boy in question only hid further into Utakata's kimono.

"Hehe, you have grown Haru." Naruto crouched next to the boy. Haru was dressed in a light green loose kimono. While little Kushina's face was a copy of her mother's, Naruto's little brother was a chibi version of Utakata. The only difference was Haru's silky shaggy black hair.

"I'm sorry for Haru. He is shy around people he doesn't know." Utakata put his hand on the blonde's arm.

"Nothing to worry about. It must have been hard dealing with two children with such opposite temperaments ~ttebayo."

"So you met Kushina? Heh, that was a stupid question. You can't miss her - she learned how to run before she discovered how to walk... All in all, it's good to have you back, Naruto."

"Na-ru-to? That Naruto?!" A girly voice gasped from behind them.

"Yep, he is your older brother, Kushi-chan." a female, patting the girl's head from behind, explained.

"Mama!" the boy bolted from behind Utakata's to hide behind his mother's back.

"I missed you, Sis." Naruto smiled at Kaname, giving her a hug. The woman who adopted parentless jinchūriki when she was only eleven years old was exuding a mix of confidence and mischievousness. In Naruto's eyes, his sister slash mother figure didn't change a bit - Kaname had shaggy shoulder-length raven black hair, so characteristic for the Uchiha clan, and sun-touched skin. She wore a grey sleeveless jumper that ended before her midriff, denim shorts, and black stockings covering her long legs. Her figure was the point of envy of many of her female friends.

"Me too, Naru-chan. You have grown into a hunk. Hinata will have a stroke once she meets you." Only after he felt her delicate but confident hug, the blonde finally knew that he came back home.

"Hehehe," he laughed, scratching the back of his head. Just then, he noticed that he was Utakata's height - at least a forehead taller than Kaname, "Thanks, Sis."

"Did your trip with Jiraiya and Itachi help?"

"Yeah, I'm stronger than ever ~dattebayo!" he clutched his fist.

"Good, I prepared a test for team six later. Now we should go meet with Tsunade. Izumi-chan waits for me there."

"Wait, Sis! We must go somewhere else first!"

"Hmm?"

...

"You could have said that you wanted to eat ramen, Naru-chan."

"I love your cooking, Sis, but Teuchi-ossan's ramen holds a special place in my heart ~ttebayo."

"Nii-chan again! Do it again!" The girl sitting on his shoulder was restless.

"Can I?" he asked.

Kaname shrugged her shoulders, "As long as you catch her."

"Heh. Kushi-chan, clench your teeth." Taking hold of her sister, Naruto used all of his strength to send the toddler high up into the air. With the corner of his eye, the blonde noticed the boy, walking by holding hands with his parents Kaname, was looking mildly envious of his sister. Catching the plummeting but laughing girl, Naruto put her back on his shoulder.

"Again, Onii-chan!"

"Despite me being a stamina freak, you will tire me out, won't you ~ttebayo?"

"Hehehehe~" she cutely laughed.

"Don't you think we need to share the fun equally, Kushi-chan?" Naruto smirked evilly.

A dangerous glint flashed in the corner of the girl's eye. The family understood that at that peculiar moment, those two siblings came to mutual understanding.

"Hehe. Yeah, make him fly, Onii-chan!"

"Sis?" Naruto pointed his nose at Haru.

"Sure, but you must go up with him." Kaname replied.

"Eh? Together? But how ~ttebayo?"

Kaname winked playfully, "I will deal with it. Have fun, Haru."

"No, don't wanna!" Haru shouted out, snuggling into Kaname's thigh.

"Hahaha, nothing to worry about, Haru. Believe in Naruto - he will protect you." She replied, unsticking her son from her body and passing him to Naruto.

"What-" Before he was able to ask his question, Naruto combusted in a dazzling flash of crimson-red fire.

"-about? Huh, a butterfly?" he noticed a red butterfly rapidly accelerating away from him.

"Ah! AAAAaaah!" Haru shouted a moment after he noticed the gravity accelerating his fall towards the ground.

"Hehehe, I should have expected it out of her." Naruto chuckled, securing the boy and letting him sit on his belly, "Haru, look at me!"

"AAAAH!"

"HARU!" Naruto flicked the boy's forehead, "Do I look scared?!"

His little brother turned his black teary eyes towards Naruto. After a moment, he inclined his head sideways.

"Leave the landing to me! Look around, we have a beautiful day! The scenery at this height is breathtaking!" The blonde shouted over the winds blowing around them.

"Uh?" the toddler wiped away his tears and turned his head to the side. The clear view of the forests around Konoha in the summer instantly made his eyes open up in amazement, "Whoa..." Haru muttered.

"Heh, those eyes are exactly like your mother's. She always loved to watch Konoha from high up ~dattebayo."

"Ah! Ground! It closing!" Naruto's brother shouted.

"We have got time. Believe in your big brother." he smiled at the boy.

"But!"

"Such a drop would be fatal if I was still a newbie genin. Want to see a future Hokage trick ~ttebayo?"

"Future Hokage?"

The blonde jinchūriki gave the boy a thumbs up, "Someday, I'm going to become a Hokage!" Naruto lifted up two fingers of his right hand, creating a universal one-handed seal, and intoned, "<Kage Bunshin no Jutsu>!"

Hundreds of pops sounded out beneath Naruto's back. From grey clouds of dust came his exact clones, one below the other, almost all the way to the ground. When the first clone splattered on the street, it lightly pushed its successor up. That way Naruto's velocity slowly decreased. A moment later, the jinchūriki, with Haru sitting on his shoulder, gracefully landed next to Kaname and Utakata.

"... Cool." Haru muttered, looking at Naruto.

"No, Haru! Naruto my Onii-chan!" Kushina yelled out enviously.

"Hehehe, there is enough of me for both of you." The blonde laughed, putting the girl on his second shoulder, "And you, Sis, you always had the weirdest ideas ~dattebayo."

"But they work." She snickered, noting the look that her son had. It seemed that Haru found a new role model, forgoing his shyness around Naruto.

"Naruto Onii-san?" the shy boy called out to him, "Why you Onii-san, but mommy a sis?"

"Heh, so young yet so attentive. That's a little complicated, Haru. I will explain it someday to you."

"Uhh." The girl on his arm grumbled.

"Nothing to worry about, your happy-go-lucky personality is adorable, Kushi-chan. Now let's go to meet Teuchi-ossan! Eat whatever you want, I'll pay ~dattebayo!"

...

"Haah... I'm full." Kaname gasped, patting her abdomen.

"Always a pleasure hosting your family, Kaname-san!" Ichiraku ramen chef laughed out.

"Teuchi-san, two more bowls for me. Haru, Kushi, you also want a second helping?" Utakata asked the children sitting on his knees, "Huh? They dropped out... It's only you and me left, Naruto."

"Hehe, only two servings? You're slacking Utakata. Challenge accepted. Teuchi-ossan, five for me ~ttebayo!"

"You two can eat all you want. I need to go help Izumi-chan. I'll be back in an hour or so."

"*Sluuurp* Sure thing, Sis. After this light breakfast, I'll need to go meet with my hime [tl. Princess], do you know where I can find her ~ttebayo?"

Kaname stood up from the stool and gave a peck on Utakata's cheek, "She will be in the hospital with Ino and Sakura. Ah, I would have forgotten!" she put something inside Naruto's pocket.

"Huh?" Finger-checking, the blonde noticed a flat square plastic wrap now hiding inside his black shirt. It took him more than ten seconds to connect all the dots.

His older sister laughed out loud, seeing Naruto turn as red as a beetroot. She winked playfully, "Better safe than sorry, see you later."

"Heh, why so shocked, Naruto? You're both chūnins. According to the law, you're both adults." Utakata chuckled at his fellow jinchūriki's startled expression.

"Di-did she just gave me an okay to..."

"That was only a question of time. You're both young adults in love. Kana-chan and I were like rabbits-", Utakata looked at his children and noticed that they were clearly listening to him, so he quickly shut himself up, "Let's change the topic..."

"Ah... Umm, where did Sis go? Is Izumi in some kind of trouble? Itachi-nii also came back ~dattebayo. I'm pretty sure that if he was able to escape aunty Mikoto's house, he would look for his girlfriend."

"Our ANBU units were caught in an ambush. Izumi-chan's Sharingan was the only reason they survived until they got help. But you know what happens if an Uchiha overuses his powers."

"Wait?! Izumi got blind? But she doesn't have any siblings or parents that can trade their eyes for hers ~ttebayo."

"She almost did. Luckily for the Uchiha clan, Kana-chan has found a way to counteract the blindness. Izumi-chan will be her first case."

"Do I want to know how Sis tested it before?"

"Haah... I had an extensive conversation about using untested drugs on yourself with her..."

"... Yeah, as expe-" In an instant, Naruto's body was covered by tens of brown snakes and abducted towards the closeby alley.

"Heh, it seems I won the Ramen Championships this time." Utakata smirked, slowly slurping on the soup.

"That aunty Anko snakes!" Kushina shouted out.

"We save Onii-san!" her brother joined in, jumping off the stool.

"It's okay, Anko won't do anything to Naruto." the jinchūriki snorted, catching his children with two snail appendages coming from beneath his kimono.

"But mommy say that aunty Anko eat men!" his daughter yelled out.

"*Cough*" Utakata choked on a nuddle.

"I don't want Naruto Onii-san eated!" Haru cried out.

"Well..." the man contemplated, "Technically, what your mom said isn't wrong... But she meant it in a completely another way."

"Eh? How?" Kushina froze in question.

"... We will talk about it someday later. Like in thirty years or so..."

...

"Nyahahaha! I didn't know that Utakata was acquainted with such eye candy! That miser!" The Snake Mistress chuckled, pushing her hand between her serpent summons and taking a feel of Naruto's abdominal muscles.

"MMMH!" The blonde trashed around in his scaly binds.

"Shhh... Save your strength for later. You will need it." she smirked, looking straight into a frightened sky-blue eye that was barely uncovered behind the mass of snakes. Groping his abs, she smacked her lips in appreciation, "Huhuhu, I found myself a very healthy specimen. What about down there?"

Feeling Anko's palm traveling below his navel, Naruto panicked and used one of his jutsus.

"I'm sorry, Anko-san. This time it's my win ~ttebayo." He called out to her, crouching on a closeby roof.

"Huh? You? When? But you're still in here!? How?" Anko took a feel of Naruto's look-alike still covered in her snakes.

"Hehe, just now, that's a clone, and how I did that is my secret, Anko-san."

"Huh, you're calling me by my name? Do we know each other?" Naruto pointed at his face, "Wait?! Whiskers, is that you, gaki?!"

"Took you some time, Anko-san."

"Oh, fuuuuu*k. Did I just try to have some fun with Kana-chan's kid? She is going to kill me to death!"

"Eh? You can kill someone not to death ~ttebayo?"

"Nyahaha, if there is a person that can do that, it's Kana-chan! Don't tell a soul what happened here. Can I count on you, Whiskers? "

"Sure. But you owe me a bowl of ramen ~dattebayo!"

"I'll buy you ten if Kana-chan doesn't find out!"

"Hehe, it's good to be home." Naruto laughed out and turned towards the Hokage's Mountain. "First things first!" dispelling his bound shadow clone, he jumped towards the Konoha hospital.

-----

"*Cough*... Thank you for coming all the way to Konoha, Temari-chan. It's always nice for my old mind to meet one of our future leaders."

"Such words from a person with a history such as yours are greatly appreciated, Sarutobi-sama." The envoy from Sunagakure nodded her head towards the retired Hokage.

"Hohoho, don't mind the details, Temari-chan. So? How did the meeting with my abrasive student go?" Hiruzen's laughed coarsely.

"I believe we can proceed from our cease-fire status to an alliance." Temari reported, "I never thought that after Suna betrayed Konoha's trust, I would see the day of our reconciliation. Kazekage sends his best wishes to you, Sarutobi-sama. He believes it's only thanks to you that we could negotiate a deal that let us survive with our heads held high."

"*Cough-cough* Its politics at its finest. If Konoha pushed for a disadvantageous deal for Suna, it would only lead to further problems for your generation down the line. I've lived through two shinobi world wars. I don't want to see the third one - I'm way too old for this..."

"Age doesn't make you weak, Sarutobi-sama. Your knowledge and intelligence make you one dreadful enemy to have."

"Hohoho, thanks. Now, I've got my crazy doctor's visit, and your brother is waiting for you at the ground level. Off you go. I'll meet all three of you in about a month to sign the papers."

"Heh. Stay healthy, Sarutobi-sama." Temari chuckled, leaving his office.

"A crazy doctor? That's not nice, Jiji." a female voice called out to him.

"What? You called yourself a mad scientist, Kana-chan."

"... Point taken. But that's mostly because of what I found in Uzushio." Kaname dropped from the ceiling and sat comfortably on a sofa.

"So? What about Izumi-chan?"

"I thought you wanted to see it for yourself? Granny is waiting for us." She replied.

"The end of the Uchiha clan's curse? Of course, I never thought I would live till the day."

"I wouldn't call us a clan anymore, Jiji. There are less than twenty of us left."

"Maybe so, but I doubt you would let the world forget the Uchiha's name for dozens of next generations, Kana-chan. Now, let's go." he shot back with his gruff voice, extending his hand towards Kaname.

"Heh, sure." Taking hold of the retired Hokage's wheelchair, they both teleported to the office one floor above.

"Huh, Itachi-kun?" the old man noticed a young man sitting next to Kaname's student.

"You didn't tell him, Nee-san? Haah... Hello Sarutobi-sama."

"Welcome back. Where is Jiraiya-kun?"

Tsunade's eye twitched, "Where the hell else could that pervert be, huh?!"

"... Right." Itachi did not answer the question, "He asked me to deliver this to you, Sarutobi-sama."

"Hoho," Hiruzen quickly swiped a small book into one of his pockets, "Don't look at me like that, Tsunade-chan. It's a gift from my student. How could I reject it?"

"Kaname-sensei, can we start? Keeping the Sharingan active all the time is freaking taxing." a young woman sitting on a couch called out tiredly.

"Nee-san, are you sure it's safe?"

"I would say it's fifty-fifty chance, Itachi-kun."

"Huh?!"

"I tested it on my shadow clones - half of them survived. But it was mostly because this medicine causes a lot of pain." Kaname smirked.

"Then I will go first!" Itachi argued back.

"The heck Itachi? I'm the one that needs it. You stay back and wait!" His girlfriend yelled at him.

"She is right, Itachi-kun. I took some of the leftover blood from the First Hokage, samples of Granny Tsunade's DNA, and a couple of other hard to come by ingredients. This drug has enough lifeforce that one of my clones turned itself into a tree. After Izumi-chan takes it, she will most likely get knocked out cold."

"... I see. Are you sure, Izumi-chan?"

"Yeah. I believe in Kaname-sensei." Izumi nodded her head.

"Good." Kaname pulled out a syringe, "On countdown."

Her student smirked, nodding her head.

"Three..." Kaname pushed the needle into the brown-haired woman's arm and instantly downed the syringe contents into her body.

"Ah!" Izumi shouted out in pain and fell unconscious on Itachi's arm.

"Did it work, Flat Board?" Tsunade called out.

"Hmm..." Kaname pulled Izumi's eyelid up, "She is out cold. Her Sharingan is deactivated, but her irises are much less cloudy. I suppose it did, but we will need to wait until she wakes up."

"Good job." the female Hokage tiredly fell back on her chair.

"Thanks, Granny." she caressed her student's cheek, letting Itachi take care of his girlfriend.

"So he came back? How is the gaki?"

"Haha, I don't give the Konoha's population much time. He looks like a younger and more handsome Minato. Give it a day or two, and he will have a girl fan club dwarfing that of his father's." Kaname replied smugly.

"I'm not so sure about that, Flat Board. The Fourth's son or not, he is still a jinchūriki of the Kyūbi - he will be reviled by the civilian population as he always was."

"That's why I'm the academy's director, Granny. I screened out every source of baseless hate from the students. Last week I found a small shrine dedicated to 'Naruto-senpai' and several young future kunoichis chatting in an unused old classroom."

"Ugh, fangirls, you shouldn't allow them-"

"I know, that, not so small, group was taken down the same day, Granny. The teaching staff is there to educate those kids and raise their chances of survival in our world."

"So? How did it go with Naruto? Did you really give him a rubber?" Tsunade laughed out.

"Yep, you should have seen it." Kaname chuckled back.

"Hehehe. Did you talk with Shiori-san? I doubt that Hinata's mother will just let her girl be taken by a boy."

"Are you kidding me? I talked with her about that two years ago. Visualize it, a Hyūga's Matriarch marching to one of the merchants and ordering a large shipment of condoms. I rolled on the ground laughing at the merchant's stupified expression. She understands the size of her daughter's infatuation, and, well, I had to specifically explain to her that Naruto is a jinchūriki and an Uzumaki."

"So what?"

"You don't understand, Granny? Jinchūrikis never tire - they can go about it for several hours without a problem. Having Uzumaki's vitality will only boost that."

"You... You..." Tsunade became speechless.

"Yeah, I got lucky." Kaname shrugged her shoulders.

"*Cough*!"

"Yeah-yeah, I know you're here, Jiji, and I don't care. What did you expect? I gave birth to two kids, you know how children are made, right?" she shot back.

"... Flat Board, experience, and stamina is surely important, but you need more-"

At this moment, Hokage's office doors were rapidly opened, and in waltzed two old Hokage's Council advisors. "TSUNADE! DID YOU SAW-" The old woman stopped shouting when she saw the office full of people.

"Oh, hi, what's up, Kana-chan?" a green-haired woman entered the room as the third one, "You were fishing? That's a really nice catch you got there." Pakura pointed at Kaname's spread apart hands, "Hmm? Am I missing something?" she questioned after noting that the Hokage faceplanted her desk, and her assistant released a steady stream of blood out of her nose.

"Yeah, I fished the big prize, Paku-chan." Kaname winked and teleported away from the office.

"Ugh... Why do I always try to measure to that Flat Board standards." Tsunade gasped.

Shizune swiped the blood from her face and replied calmly, "She's your rival, Tsunade-sama. And you shouldn't try to compete in something you don't have much experience in."

"TSUNADE! IT'S NOT IMPORTANT! DID YOU SAW THE HOKAGE'S MONUMENT!?"

"Shizune, I beg you, just kill me." The Hokage cried out, ignoring the old woman's outcry.

"Of course, but first, you need to sign these documents." her black-haired assistant pointed at the ever-growing pile of papers.

"... And she was right about that as well, shit!"