1 PROLOGUE

It's raining outside. My whole room seems fatigue and rusted. Just covering my body on to the duvet to warms up my body from the cold. Amidst the years that I've been through, just hunting such achievements give me pressures to the point that I can't even sleep well at night thinking on how to achieve things that I've desire the most. I thought that living in a teenage life could be more excellent, like, having more freedom in life. But instead, it just makes you feel even worst as you aged. Back when I was 7, there was no problem to be worried about in life. Life's more colourful when you are a kid. Dreaming the things that you wished to grow up someday, having fun playing with your childhood friends, it's way too awesome back then. I really wanted to go back when I was 5 where I'm still innocent, learning many things, discovering the unknown, and most and for all, I got to spend time having fun with my relatives behind. It's so good to reminisced the things that we have in the past. But the past is in the past as they said. We can renew things in the past, 'cause it's became one of our history in life that is sure written in our book which it contains the good and bad doings that we've done in the past. Right now, all I can do is to make my parents proud even if I don't know how to make them feel that way.

From the past life I had, I always received such certifications with a good pride. Some can't compete, some can't overtake nor surpass me for being ferociously grasping all the milestones or should I say such achievements that I desired just for the sake o my parents. When I was 11, I brought out the bacon by myself for being a certified Academic Contest champion awardee under our District Division prospectively. Then I went home at exactly 11:11 AM with my tardiness scent that flung through the air. Oh well, it's going to be a long shower this day. I sighed. Surprisingly, I saw the door open widely. It was the very first time that I saw the door being opened 'coz usually, my parents did really lock the fucking door up due to the awareness of the appliances at home being stolen by the thief elsewhere. Just when I was about to step into the doormat and put down my pair of shoes behind it, I saw my Mom and Dad sitting in a couch watching their favourite shows. I jumped towards them with a gin in my mouth, ready to tell them the big news of what just I received this day. "Mom, Dad, look.", I raised my trophy then added "I won the competition, and I just received a shiny trophy and a medal too!", I shouted happily as my intonation flew with an enthusiasm vibes flung inside the room--- while it's just about time to wait, wondering if what will be their respond on the awards that I've brought from the competition lately. I just can't hold my excitement and can't wait for my parent's reaction.

But instead of being proud of me they just neglect the things I've been doing lately and said "That's great honey, now go upstairs and get change. And we will call you out for lunch after". Dad giving his words makes me feel unappreciated. My grins from my lips disappear from what they've said. I never thought that it might happen like this. I thought that they would be more proud of me, but not. Gosh! Am I really their son? Do they care about me? I think they don't really. Because if they really care about me, they would've just be proud of what I have and what I've received lately. Well, it happens every single moment when I got paid off and achieved anything. They seems like they never took attentively to my works. I was about to go and climb up upstairs when I saw my big brother heading oppositely through my way, way dow through the kitchen. My parents showed their sincere concerns while I was left here being invisible as it is. Just gonna continue of what I'm doing right now --- going to my room would be the exact idea. Finding my duvet to lie on, trying not to make me tears fall down that tries to make my face dirty. It's not the first time that I've ever experienced. I think this thing would last for a lifetime.

Then, days have passed, things changed when I went up to 15 years of age. It was unlucky indeed, just how my GPA went low this year? Like what happened?! I'm in 9th grade that year, and it seems like my life just added some of its pain to discover, with the mess that I made. I mean it was a mess really. The reason why I call it a mess was my GPA went down and it dropped from 4.2 to 2.9. It was that bad after all, but when my dad saw my grade, he was pissed. To the extend that he scolded . "It didn't even reached the failing part", I said to him in grief. And then he slaps my face and shouted "DON'T YOU EVER TALK BACK TO YOUR OWN FATHER LIKE THAT!", then he grabbed some books and slammed it to my thighs, just when I was supposedly crossed-sitting the bed. The aching pain stood on my thigh, trying to force myself not to cry for this moment.

"STUDY HARD, AND DON'T TRY TO BE SUCH BURDEN IN THIS FAMILY!!" I even frown and bow myself as when my dad added some yelling upon at me. How disappointing to hear. The main reason why they keep scolding at me is that, they don't want me to end up like my big brother went to. For me, he is the real burden of this family, but due to his health conitions, my parents won't even give a damn yielding at him. This is really unfair, like treating your children differently. Very disappointing isn't it?

As I aged, I began to experience the worst nightmare that haunts me. Every single day, sadness is just making me feel down at myself always. I felt unloved all these times. I just don't know why every single things I have, becomes a torture in life.

I always find myself nothing but just wanted to get things that I wanted, but I can't have it really. Achieving things ain't that easy and it's kinda depressing. Have you ever found yourself experiencing this kind of burden when you were 15 years of age? Well, most of us might really experienced these things. There's a lot of presents that haven't been open yet as we continuously grew up in this world. Loads of unexpected things to discover. For best or even... for worst, it will spontaneously come in the exact date we haven't wished to be in our lives for years. Preparation is just the main key to survive this matter, but what if you prepared your things just when the shadows went out from the distant sky, and when tomorrow comes, those things came out unexpectedly storming at you?

Here, let me introduced you to the world where you've became unnoticed in life and just craving such fucking attentions in life. The name is Tyler Spencer Burivathos Rachville being well known as a weird guy in the R-University. People used to call me that way since I am always imagining things in a strange way. I often think of myself as one of my favorite protagonist of the anime shonen series known as Naruto Uzumaki. When I was in high school, I used to run like how ninjas in Naruto runs. Pretty weird right? I even had a nickname in our campus which is very cringing to hear. Everytime I passes through the corridor, not a single step I appear, they already called me. The worst part is I'm being proud of it. Well, proud otaku here, but I only know Naruto because I really admire him.

Since then, the preceding sinking feeling tend to dwell over and over as I grew further.