I JUST GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS PRISON CELL

The doc Brian May had burst into this room at the right time. He carried on his guitar hanging and his wild and beautiful black curls waving on his shoulders. His glance at me wasn't sweet at all. It was clear he had already done his analysis. Freddie had hooked up with that blond (me) and the wrinkled dress seemed support his theory. After practically killing me with his rational and critic scientist gaze, blaming on me for him being late.

- We're starting right now.

- Right now? I can't go out like this. I look awful.

- There's no time. Stop being such a stupid prima donna. Do your job.

- I'm always doing my job. What are you talking about?

- The blondie might agree with your well done job but as long as you don't move your ass out of here I don't. Come along.

- God, Bri. Let's get laid and you'll see things a little bit different.

I tried to glance at Brian which ruled me out of this outrageous situation but it was a waste of time. It seemed obvious and Brian was in pre concert mood. If I wanted to get things clear it didn't matter to him. He didn't care about me. He went out tapping nervously the door to urge him.

- Well, mousy. What shall we do with you now? -he murmured shaking graciously his bracelets.

I had to admit that so far in two different period times I aroused Freddie's curiosity. It was something that I didn't got time not even think. The events always overwhelmed me.

- Are you playing today? Here?

- Didn't you know? Come on, there's no need to pretend, my love. I can guess that you aren't the cleaning lady. It's obvious -he said scanning his radar again all over my body-. Something just doesn't feel right. Why does a groupie hiding in a stockroom? But anyway, you're always full of surprises.

It didn't make me happy he considered me as a groupie although a great part of me it was. But the mission in my hands was greater than me, than him and everyone else in the whole world. But 1974... it was too soon. Though it was electrifying and I couldn't yet believe I was going to watch them playing live.

- You know what? I'm going to change my clothes. These leotards smell too much like sex. Even for me.

He winked at me making fun of my new blush.

- Come with me. What's your name?

- Ash... no, Elideth.

- Pardon? I haven't got it at all.

- Elideth!

- Alright, mousy. Come and don't you worry about anything.

What did he want to know my name for? He insisted to call me how he felt like it. He was incorrigible.

- No, I'd rather see you from a corner.

- Sure, as a mousy. No, I'm in charge here and you're coming with me to our dressing room.

I wanted to die. I'm getting into the beast's cage. It was a recurrent fantasy being there but I had no reason to be there. They'd hate me, in fact Brian already hated me.

- No, I don't want to. Please...

- Darling, you asked for it.

Without further ado he lifted me over his shoulders carrying me onto his back while I was screaming and kicking in the air and at the same time I tried not to show anything. Luckily my dress had the right lenght. That way we got into the dressing room. Brian strummed his guitar at one corner, squatting. Seeing us with that irritable noise, he couldn't hide an upset face. Freddie put me down on the floor at last and jumping, he naturally started to taking off his leotards, my handkerchief included while I looked away with my shame boiling over my face.

- I'm ready in a minute. I'm getting dressed. Where are my platform shoes?

- Where you left them. You know you should have been out fifteen minutes ago.

- Excuse me, excuse me. I'll be agile and fast like a cheetah. I'll just be a minute to getting dressed, put on my make up, comb my hair, put on some perfume...

He threw a teasing glance to Brian to make him angry again. Freddie wasn't nervous before going out the stage. There was no doubt the hot stuff with that guy suited him fine. Who would it be? I couldn't help thinking after the first moment of unrest.

- People haven't gone, have they? -he asked with pretending concern knowing the answer while he put one leg into some beautiful white satin flared trousers.

- I didn't blame on them to do it. What is she doing here? -he pointed out at me with his chin.

I didn't blame on Brian. Freddie was living with Mary and Brian adored Mary, he introduced her to him. There was a strong bond between the three. And suddenly there she was, a blondie fucking up everything. His anger was understandable.

- She calls Elideth -he remembered my fake name, wowww-. Isn't it a beautiful name? And singular. Like her...

Freddie gave me spicy looks. Fuck, I didn't fuck him, I felt like saying to Brian screaming out loud.

- Freddie, as singular as she may be, I don't know what she's doing here. We're going out to the stage. I don't want anybody in here.

- Oh, darling. Don't be such a hysterical. Look at her, she doesn't make any noise. She's my mousy. Everything will work out fine.

Freddie did his makeup in a rush. He was a fucking genious with that. He outlined again his eyes with firm pulse and he blew himself a kiss at the mirror.

- How do I look, honey? Do you think I could fuck... how many people are out there?

- 2800. Sold out.

- Would I fuck 2800?

- You sure would try it -I mumbled to myself. He heard me.

- What did you say, mousy?

- You would, sure.

Brian snorted and searched the other two. Once Roger and Deaky stormed in, the atmosphere balanced a little more. Their gazes were different. Roger wanted also fuck me with his eyes, of course and Deaky just smiled to me mockingly but without wanting to know who I was or what I was doing there. His philosophy was live and let live.

The word awkward wasn't enough to describe my situation. You could feel the nerves on the air and I was out of place as among the little confusion I tried to run away.

Roger had also a sharp radar, almost sharper than Freddie's. He liked a groupie around their entourage like a good icing on the cake.

- Love, wait for me. We have to talk after the show. Or whatever.

His steel blue eyes were with no question beautiful and his almost feminine features a piece of art but he seemed pushy and disturbing at least. He was too successfull with women to consider he was harassing.

Freddie's radar was on right away and grabbed me by the arm firmly making him notice he had seen me first.

- You're late, blondie -he blurted him out.

He only forgot to mention, "that wild duck is mine". Roger laughed sardonic on his own way. And Freddie elbowed him and threw him an affectionate punch and started to play like kids, forgetting about me instantly. Both trapped each other on the floor just wearing their trousers. It was a beautiful vision.

It was worthwhile being still in that cage despite my restlessness. If I ran away and intented being one more in the audience ran the risk of losing Freddie's track forever. It was such a volatile and wild period and I was just an ordinary blond like any other.

As usual I adjusted quickly to my improvised role. Suddenly I stared at Deaky, looking at me mockingly. I loved his smile and that man was one of my soft spots within Queen. I considered him intelligent at a similar level as mine. He was reflexive inside that turmoil. He was reliable, he seemed someone ideal to avoid that craziness although he was stuck into it. Weird.

- A cigarette? -he offered me getting one out of the packet.

- Thank you -I accepted.

- Sit down, we're not overcharge you.

I did it and got close to his lighter flame. I took a drag, twice, deep, looking at the ceiling and I relaxed till I heard again Freddie's unmistakingly voice background.

- Damn you. It's fucking half past seven, there's still thirty minutes to get to the stage.

- You make me doing things like that -Brian explained him like a longsuffering teacher.

- And I'm already dressed. Shit.

- And very smart.

Deacon wasn't the best person to start forced conversations, I wasn't either. But he seemed to have mercy of my helplessness, that clearly "I'm not fitting here" which he watched obviously from his supposed peaceful watchtower. Outside all the noise, screamings, Roger's crude jokes. Apparently my badly position was a powerful weapon in my missions. A deadly weapon.

- What a shame about your dress. Freddie is such a brute when he chose it -he said, noticing, another one, my stain.

- Oh, no. It wasn't him. There's nothing between us. Really. It was just an accident in the broom closet.

- It's called accident now.

Deaky laughed real hard while he narrowed his eyes among his cigarette smoke.

- But you are ok, aren't you? -he wanted to know, polite, testing.

I suppose among the bands always it flew over certain threat because the groupies in their intended aspirations could misunderstood things. I don't know if at that period time they took that into account. Of course John was a man ahead of his time. Very smart.

Among many other things Queen was a brains band. Each one of them with very different intelects. Four able and graduates students but apart from their college fields, four sharp minds. Deaky and May were more rational and yet they were two unquestionable creative volcanos. Taylor and Mercury on the other hand seemed the most instinctive but at the end very skilled in business field.

In short, they were very intelligent people although seeing Freddie and Roger fighting like two cats in season, you can doubt it.

I nodded trying to calm down Deaky's concern about my welfare.

- I'm saying because if you are uncomfortable and you don't want being here, I open up the door quite freely. Here there is only people who want to.

- Freddie and I haven't anything. I just want to clear this out.

- Why? We all have seen as Freddie got into carrying you onto his back. I assure you I've never seen him doing something alike.

- Oh, I don't know. He might be specially joyful today. I can't explain you.

- No, beauty. Noone can explain Freddie, even he can't explain himself.

Deaky looked at him affectuose and that mocking touch characteristic in his little eyes. The friendship between Freddie and Roger was unbeatable due to the time they worked and lived together but the bond between Freddie and John was more spiritual. More like older and younger brother. Freddie was five years older than him.

I could say Deaky I was aware of what this joy came from. It came from the passionate shag with that guy just minutes before Brian came after him. But that it was anybody's business, of course.

- Brian hates me -I said to John trustfully.

He laughed again carefree, putting out his cigarette and grabbing his bass against his lap.

- Brian? Nooo, keep cool. He doesn't like you are here but it's just he... before a show he gets very intense. If you would appear after the show...

- Would he try to pick me up?

- Probably. You are a cutie. Despite your wreck of a dress.

I was going to ask him where we were located but it would sound weird. Rainbow theatre, Sunday 31th march 1974 and at november they would return there to record the mythical show which I've watched at least two dozen times.

- Boys, 5 minutes.