FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS

Once finished the concert, after one hour and some I looked around the most anodyne faces and thought I would be able to write a good critic of this show. In fact, if I could find out time in this weird "job" of mine I would write my own analysis of that show.

It had been interesting enjoying the show in exclusive area. From there not only had a magnificent view of Freddie's long legs still more stylized with his platforms and his perfect ass.

I could be witness of Brian's clear annoyed gesture when he broke a string at the beginning of Liar and he had to go and find a spare Fender Stratocaster. People had been respectful and I was quiet at my corner all the while, something which I needed to squeeze the best Queen music at live.

Sweeping around with a quick glance, I figured out among the crowd there was standing out a lady with dark and lank layered hair and with a colourful feather headdress. She wore impossible print dress and yellow stockings till her knee. She was Zandra Rhodes, Freddie's clothes designer. Maybe she was the only person with whom I was interested talking. I was heading to her with resolution when another lady cut me off.

- Did you like it, girl? -she wanted to know, her eyes dragged over me.

- A lot.

I smiled at her and tried to leave because I didn't want Rhodes would slip away. But the fifty-something lady, elegant and sophisticated didn't finish yet.

- Are you also a music critic?

Her words were ironic, I caught quick her sarcastic remark. I was about to say to her "Of course I was and in my spare time I was the blowjobs's girl" but I decided not to give her the pleasure to put myself down.

- Miss Elideth?

There he was, Ratty again acting up.

- Yeah?

- Queen manager wants you to talk to him about some of the rates. At the last meeting he got impressed with your reports.

I looked at him trying to refrain my laugh just for the pleasure of shut this mouth's lady up. Take that.

- Come -Ratty whispered grabbing me again to pull me out of there-. I got still a lot of work to do, you know? I shouldn't be here. You're ruining my night.

- I've loved what you said although it seemed not clear to me what I am within Queen entourage.

- That woman is so uptight, she's always slagging the band off with her critics. And I didn't like how she looked at you.

- You are the tops -I couldn't help kiss his cheek. It seemed I found my Alex clone.

- Stop fussing. Hold on, dont let go and stop causing me troubles. I got a lot of work ahead at the stage. I don't know why the hell I'm protecting you. I hope Mr Taylor give me a bonus for extra risks.

- Taylor?

- Yes, you are his girl tonight. Don't let go, hey. Just obey me and don't make me lose my time.

- I'm not a groupie.

- Did your businesswoman role has gone to your head with the music critic? Come in there, go on.

He pushed me without ceremony to a room next the dressing room. The room of which Roger had told me at my ear before getting to the stage. It was a VIP room but of another kind. Here there was only women. Every race, magnitude and height. Dyed hair and natural one. Their looks were angelic and some of them looked like professionals. Ashlee, this is the groupies's kingdom and you are one of them. Handle with care.

Luckily nobody knew that I came from VIP area. Without knowing it, I was being already visually dissected. Good God, help me. This mission is getting out of my control much faster than the other.

- Hi, my name is Wendy.

One of the girls with more "professional" look came to me. I wasn't rival to her. I was like a sad little lamb just out of her mother's womb and she was the lion after a good hunt day.

- My name is Elideth.

- What a beautiful name. What did it happen to your dress?

- Oh, an accident. It doesn't matter...

It did matter to me and so. And besides it was the only clothes that I brought. What a disaster. I need to go shopping urgently and I was stuck in that mousetrap. Stucking into that stress, the things that I care about at my period time, here left covered by a lot of events. I didn't have time to ponder about my wardrobe.

- It's a pity you welcome the boys like a total mess. Come with me. I have clothes in my bag. I always bring a survivor kit, you know? You can't imagine how many times I have ended up with my clothes filled with vomit. Let alone another fluids.

My ravenous hunger hours ago, took away. What was that girl talking about? Being groupie was an extra in her wage or something like that. I rather not inquire further.

- Come, cutie. We're changing your clothes. While you're at it, I'll make up your face. You look very boring, love. This is Queen, not Simon and Garfunkel. You must keep up with the queens.

Wendy scared me and on the other hand I felt supported by her. She didn't have the jealous and competitive gaze from the rest. Being together it wasn't such a bad idea till their majesties emerged.

Wendy dragged me to a little loo and closing the door behind us, she put her sports bag on the washbasin, it looked like she came to do Pilates, and rummaged into it profusely.

- This is going to suit you perfectly.

Before my eyes she unfolded a tight silver jumpsuit with no sleeves and I thought how the hell was I getting into that.

- You wear my size. Try it out, my darling. What size shoes you wear?

- 4.

- Damn, mine 5. I can't lend you my platforms to match but that silver sandals so bohemian that you wear can suit you fine. I'm waiting for you outside. Tell me when you finish.

Once I changed my clothes, I looked at myself in the mirror. I'd got into that galactic jumpsuit although I didn't see myself enhanced at all. In fact I looked awful. It made my hips standing out. If I would wear my hair loose and layered and I'd have a bass in my hands, I would look like Suzy Quatro.

- Did you finish dressing up?

- Yes, come in.

- Oh, turn around. It suits you fine. You look like another girl. Now let's do something to your beautiful face and those bags under your eyes.

Did I have bags? I didn't even notice I have such a terrible look. For my lips she chose a super gloss which I hated with my heart and she went easy on me but enough to stand out. What I really hated.

- I would do something with your hair if we had any time but the boys are about to enter. We must be ready.

I put my poor adored dress into my big duffle bag.

- Darling, now that necklace that you wear didn't match at all with that divine jumpsuit. Take it off. Show your neck and neckline.

Suzy Quatro with braids. Now I was a disaster with capital letters.

Wendy had studied the time. The boys and part of their entourage swarmed out like buffalos to the pasture. Meanwhile all the girls ran to ask them autographs, I left behind at a corner wanting to disappear and vanish inside that spacesuit in which I got into. I just saw all kind of feminine heads, they were swallowed inside that turmoil. I surrounded all that as I could searching in some place a table filled with food. It was usual at these places. My stomach started again to growl.

I looked with melancholy that mess of fluty voices screaming and fussing around the boys and I was dressed to kill in spite of me, just dying for a portion of whatever to get into my mouth. The restlessness gave me hunger, I couldn't help it. Besides it's been hours since I eat something. Exactly 46 years and several hours.

- What are you looking for, darling?

A nice face with a considerable height looked at me funny with both hands on his hips.

- I thought there would be something to eat.

The boy bursted into a joyful laughter and I couldn't help smiling. I could get into that impossible jumpsuit because I didn't eat anything.

- Well you're looking at the wrong direction, my precious -he pointed out the boy's heads into a real women enclosure-. There it is your food.

- Something more substantial -I said clicking my tongue-. Come on, what kind of backstage is this? Is there really no food?

- Alright. Come with me.

- Oh, thank you. I'm totally starving.

If I didn't eat anything my few neurones would start to destroy each other and Ashlee would be out of service. The situation was complicated and tricky to me. 1974 wasn't a good idea. Too much testosterone flowing freely and too many groupies on the market. Wendy could have dressed me up with a lace baby doll pyjamas and even so they wouldn't stare at me. How could I manage to not lose the link to which I grabbed in the broom closet?

Within minutes to the groupies would join the rest of the weirdos who used to go with the bands after the shows and that would be a fuss. And I wanted to be invisible but not so much.

But so far, my goal was filling my stomach with whatever I could find and then I would think of the next step. The boy who gently came with me to the table filled with food apparently was the second or third Freddie's assistant. They didn't last long.

This boy seemed nice and I hope he lasted a few years. It seemed to me I've seen him taking care of his hair in some images from the tour News of the World. Although I wasn't sure at all, when I didn't eat I found myself a little disorientated.

- Do you think it's enough food? -he asked ironic showing me a table full of all kind of things.

- I think I could manage. Thanks a lot -I tiptoed to give him a kiss, grateful to the core.

- You're welcome. Enjoy.

- Won't you keep me company? I hate eating on my own.

- It's ok. But just a little while. I have still to picking up things.

- You are the wardrobe assistant, aren't you?

- Yes. Have we met once?

- No, definitely not -I took a generous bite to some portion of shepard's pie.

I closed my eyes delightfully. My gastric juices danced mambo inside my stomach. The boy stared at me with curiosity in his smile.

- What's your name? -I wanted to know while I gazed at the next I would get my teeth into.

- I'm Alan. And you?

- Elideth. But call me Eli. How long have you been working for Queen?

- In fact I started just three days ago. When they began their shows in England.

- Oh, and how are you doing? -I attacked the second sausage into a Yorkshire pudding.

- I'm getting used to it. It's a world completely new to me.

- Same.

- But it doesn't look like it at all -he smiled seeing how good I could manage with the free buffet.

- I'm here by accident. I'm not a groupie.

My pathetic attempts to justify myself always proved to be useless.

- Aren't you?

- Do you considered me as a groupie because how I dress? This clothes aren't even mine. Do you think if I were a groupie I would be here eating while my rock stars touched another ass, not mine?

- Well, I just think you are a very hungry groupie and... very pretty.

The sauce spilt all over the corner of my mouth and I smiled at him restrained with my mouth full of food while I rushed to clean myself.

Ashlee, you're a piece of work. You're running away the danger and always get into something still more dangerous. When your highest ambition was filling your stomach you cast your spell over Queen's wardrobe assistant.

- Fuck, you are here. Do you know how long have I been searching you?

There he was, my favourite drummer in music history, with his blonde lion mane to the wind striding up to me.

- I was having dinner -I smiled swallowing my mouthful-. I was starving. Sorry.

- I figure out. We met in the room next door the dressing room. Didn't we?

I was not in the mood for Roger's intensity. He managed to steal me away from his friend Freddie and that excited him a lot but I was having dinner and he would have to wait till I felt satisfied.

- Really? Did we meet there? I can't remember.

- Doll... come on.

- Don't call me doll or I won't come anywhere till I calm my hunger.

- I'll calm it, come on.

- Roger, don't be childish, ok? I've said don't spoil my moment.

Alan, clumsily, was in between that silly argument and too late he announced he was leaving.

- Alan, don't you go.

Alan apologized with a gesture and ran away. It was his third day of work, he wouldn't play the fool.

- Do you like him? -he pierced me with his steel blue eyes extremely dilated.

- You are such a fool. Do you fancy a bit? -I handed him a chip.

- I fancy a little of you -he threw me the chip to my face.

- Fuck, don't throw away food -I said irritable.

I had salt from the chip in my eyes. The old chump...

- What did it happen? What's wrong?

- It's just salt.

- Let me have a go, let me.

Roger kneeled on the floor and brought down a little my lower eyelid and then he delicately blew it trying to free me from the salt grains.

- Are you feeling better?

- Yes, thanks.

Roger there on his kness, stared at my outfit for the first time. Rather my outfit's neckline.

- Where is your dress?

- I changed my look.

- You look so sexy. Did you change your look because of me?

Roger was the most predictible man in the world. With such a beautiful face he could allow himself a lot of things. Sitting there on the floor between my legs, he started to tickling his fingers behind my knees. I laughed at his spicy smile.

- Elideth, I've practically dragged away from my crotch three pair of hands out there just to get and find you.

- Amazing. Just three?

It was amazing also after such an intense gig and the after party, he remembered my name.

- Stop playing with me and get out of here.

I finished my swallowing and licked my swollen lips after so much eating. Roger cleaned me with a napkin as though I was a little child.

- Roggieeee...

The owner of the most beautiful voice on earth just appeared on scene like a hurricane. He was standing there staring at the beautiful picture of Roger and I and I could notice his quick glance to my new outfit.

- Hello, Freddie -I waved at him in a barely audible voice.

Hello, do you remember me? I'm the girl who got into your dressing room. Did you forget me so soon?

Freddie avoided my wave unpolitely, very unbecoming of him and he turned to his dear Roger.

- Betty is looking for you, no, Krissie. Well, maybe both. Move your ass. Tonight is your night.

- I know it very well, Fred. I know it's my night -and he looked at me with secret smile-. Elideth and me are leaving. Say goodbye to them for me. Say I love them.

Roger stood up and reached out his hand to help me to getting up. At the moment I didn't know what the hell doing. I didn't know either if after all I've eaten, my galactic jumpsuit would explode at the seams.

- Are you leaving? -Freddie asked, in disbelief.

- I'm leaving them to you. What are you complaining of?

- I'm not complaining.

- Fine, shall we go? -Roger asked me.

I couldn't help looking at Freddie with painful eyes as though I asked his permission or I would beg him to save me from that situation. Aren't you even fighting for me? Freddie threw me a slow disdainful glance all over my body and moving exaggerately his long hair, faced away from me and got out of the room, steady pace.