wish to be blind again

How do I smile

with happy feeling

How do I cry

with an actuall need to

How to not act mean

as immideate coping

How to not get vile

when growing older

...

I want to see the world as I saw it before

When mother and child were on the same pace

When everything was for me to adore

When mind considered body its place

Child wasn't cannibalistic

and destructive, selfharming

Mother wasn't too realistic

And in my eyes disgusting

Am I on the right track?

I wish to go back...