Chapter Two

*Warning: Some content may be insensitive or offensive*

Daniel is blind. Only about one in every five thousand two hundred babies are born blind. Daniel was. He is the stranger that is letting me stay in his bed while he sleeps on the couch. He never comes into his room anymore because he doesn't want to invade my privacy, even I'm doing that to him.

I asked my mother when I was five years old how blind people lived. She simply replied "They don't." I asked her what she meant. She told me they have nothing to do so they wallow in their sadness and self-pity.

Daniel is twenty years old. He is not old enough to drink and respects that, unlike Father. He has dark brown hair, darker than mine. His eyes are a faded green.

I am confused why he is letting me stay here.

On the day I left and met him at the bus stop, Daniel asked me if I needed help. He said it was gonna be okay and that someone is there for me when I broke into tears for the third time.

Then he asked me what had happened. I told him.

I am not keen on trusting strangers, or rather, anyone. But Daniel is different. He made me feel safe.

So I told him. And he did not interrupt me or ask questions, not even after I was finished. Daniel thought for a long moment, then asked me a question I'd heard too many times.

"Why were you living with Mark, if you don't mind me asking? Aren't you a little... young, to be living with your boyfriend?" He asked in a way that was different from the others. He was concerned, not ridiculing and condemning.

I told him why. Partially. I told him it was because my mother was unwell and my father was away for a while.

Half-truths are still lies, but what else could I tell him?

That my problems are all my fault and that I can't fix them? No, I cannot do that.

It was my sixth day here when Daniel asked where I would go. After I left his house, he clarified.

I asked him a question instead of answering his. "How do you live like this?" I asked, for the first time in my life not caring that it might have been insensitive or rude. I was done catering to others needs and tiptoeing around them.

Daniels response was so different from my mother's. "By trusting myself, and others. I am working with what I have. Isn't that the best one can do?"

I nodded. I thought about that.

I asked him if he was ever scared. "Of course. It's only human to have fears."

So different from what I knew.

On the tenth day I told him I was leaving. He told me yet another thing I'd never heard before. "I believe in you, Aroaw. I trust you can take care of yourself and manage on your own. Where do you plan on going?"

I told him wherever the wind takes me, because it sounded right at that moment.

I will never see Daniel again. I know this, and I should be sad about losing my new friend. But I am indifferent for some reason which I can't explain.

Perhaps it's years of putting so much distance between myself and others than I don't know how to put down the wall.

Daniel says goodbye, and I say goodbye back. Those are the last words we will ever speak to each other.

It is now 3:09 P.M. on January 2nd, and I am considering things I've never even thought of before. Such as not living anymore. It's such a simple sentence that passes through my brain, yet it startles me. Do I really want to die?

I decide no. Because if I die than everything I've worked for will be lost. Struggling through everything that's happened will have been a waste. So I will not give up yet.

I make goals in my head when I'm lonely or sad. The first one I made was to find Ako.

Ako will be twenty eight years old. He has brown eyes and light hair and was tall the last time I saw him.

Which was twelve years ago.

I have two brothers, counting Ako, and a sister. My other brother is younger than me. Alex and I are not close.

It has been 23 years since my sister was born, but she never got to see her 23rd birthday. She was married with a child, but even they weren't enough to convince her not leave. Anie is gone now, in more ways than one.

Ako and I were as close as twins. Even though we were years apart. He stood up for me, and never made me sad. He cheered me up and made jokes when I got hurt so I would forget about it and laugh with him.

Ako was smart. He taught me, in a way, how to be smart too. He taught six-year-old me how to solve riddles and puzzles. Ako would make me a new puzzle every day for me to solve.

He taught me to never give up. Even when I was frustrated and upset, he would soothe me and help me figure it out. I want him here now, because I feel terrible.

I kept every letter he ever wrote me. Most of them are at my mothers house now. But I kept three with me because sometimes even eighteen year olds need reassurance and comfort.

I am staying in a dingy motel. It is far from Eighth Ridge and Sunn. It is far from the life I knew and the life I didn't want. But distance doesn't change anything.

It's 3:24 now, which reminds of something I love and hate. Well, someone.