Chapter 11: fricking third parties

Duke

Zola became really important for me. I ended up really obsessing over her and stuff about her. We were now pretty good friends. I talked to her a lot and I am not quite sure if my feelings were obvious but I assume they were not. She was really sweet. You know the type of girl who would let me taste the cookies she made in her practical class, food and nutrition.

So I became invested in showing her how special she was. I was pretty shy back then, who am I kidding I very shy even to this day but I went found out when her birthday was( 9th of November) and then I got it into my head to give her something special. As I have already made quite clear, I was not the most well funded guy back then. I barely ever had any money so I could not really afford to buy her something new.

I did on the other hand have something I had from my mom. I have not mentioned my mother much so far. She and my dad had a divorce when I was extremely young, maybe 3 years old and she had been out of my life for a long while and then she came back when I was around 12 and I did not even recognise her. She then started coming once or twice every year to visit which was fine but far from enough. I understood though since she had a job outside the country so I could not blame her.

She had left one of her watches at the house with us back when she first left and it was something that gave me a sort of connection with her. I used to keep it with me all the time. I do not even remember if the thing was still working but I loved it because it was likened to my mother at the time.

When Zola's birthday came around, I tried to find a time where I could catch her alone because I was too embarrassed to give her such an old thing in front of her friends. So I kind of stalked her on that day and tried to find my opportunity. I finally caught as she was heading back to class from rounding the corner to our block. I got up to her and stretched out my hand and gave her the watch and wished her a happy birthday.

Now that I think back on it, I realise that she might have thought I was weird for giving her an old watch for her birthday so I probably should have explained that it was of great sentimental value to me and my brothers but like I said I was too shy and honestly was surprised I even got the balls to give the thing to her in the first place so I simply rushed to the class and marvelled at how she had accepted my gift and thanked me(probably being polite and not out of genuine excitement) which was good enough for my young heart. My sweetheart would wear something I got from my mom.

It was pretty good for those few days and I managed to enjoy the pleasure of her company without ruining it with complex emotions so I think a part of me revelled in that. I did not want to risk ruining what we had by repeating the debacle from the previous year when she called me out for being a bad friend. That still haunted me slightly. However I was kind of put in crisis one day because of tax who came to me with a major surprise that made me shift gears.

I was blissfully unaware of my own deep feelings for Zola until I got quite the rude awakening from Tax when he came to me and announced that he was now into her. We were no longer as close to warrant such secrets but then he had realised that me and her were good friends so he wanted my assistance in gaining her affection. That blindsided me and caused a panic to just bubble up out of me.

I told him that I could not help him because she was my girl and then he had the balls to declare her open season and even wanted to make it a competition to see who would end up with her in the end. Classic Tax. I did not feel quite comfortable or even confident with such an arrangement however there was little I could do to dissuade the guy. He had in his mind to make his goal a reality so I just let him do whatever.

Back then I would get tense whenever I spotted the two of them talking and always made sure to insert myself into the conversation. I would not allow him to take that from me. in my head I had convinced myself that I was doing to protect her from Tax who I felt was not good enough for her. Tax liked to make gaining a girls heart a competition, he had done it even back in primary school so I definitely did not thing he was worthy of my angel.

I am pretty good at sabotage when I put my heart into it and I managed to trip up the guy at every turn. He was convinced they were all actions to push the competition forward, the dumbass. I was fighting to keep his claws off her and I was prepared to do whatever was necessary to make it impossible for him.

Whenever he wanted to get to her I would make sure to flaunt how close we were in his face and ruin his plans. This one time I even pecked her cheek while he was looking which is a douchebag move but I was really desperate at the time. She did not seem to notice though so it was alright at the time.

But I will give Tax one thing, the guy is relentless. He was still insistent on winning her. At the time I was greatly annoyed and bothered by his interests but nowadays I really think he was truly trying to be scum of the earth. That is because I found out recently from him that back then he actually had a relationship that had been going strong for half of that year.

This dude had been Freda's secret boyfriend the whole time and he did not think that was enough for him. I mean there's greed, then there's whatever bout of insatiability that possessed him. He went and made my days miserable and desperate because he wanted more than was his due. And he literally wanted to play around with the only two girls I cared about in that damn place. Its ridiculous to even think about.

I think the moral of the story here is that popularity will make you an absolute asshole so its better to remain obscured from the whole scene. Anyway I tried everything in my power to keep Zola away from him and it was honestly working out and I was slowly discovering that I had very deep and complex feelings for her which was a good thing.

However I made a very big mistake one day when I was with her. I do not remember exactly what was happening at the time since honestly I did not like thinking about that day so I forgot most off it over the years. I remember that Zola had her back to me and I was caught by a rush of emotion and tried to grab her arm and pull her back to me however somehow I missed my mark and ended up groping her by mistake.

I do not remember much but I do remember the look on her face and it truly shredded me. she was so disturbed and I thought, 'well this is it, I finally pushed her away' and became really numb. I tried to go and apologise to her. But then the self proclaimed knights and leaders of the charge against men Ruva and Yemu had her and blocked me from getting to her.

The whole class was in a hush as everyone held their breathes to see what would happen. The eyes, the eyes of the class, her eyes were too much for me. I left the class after seeing her vulnerable and hurt look one more time and went to clear my head. I was beating myself up wondering how I would fix it. When I got to class I found her and apologised to her as sincerely as I could. So she could know it had been a mistake. To know I would never do that to her, to any woman honestly but her most of all.

She said she forgave me and my heart lifted because I had not completely lost her. I was convinced that I would still be able to salvage the situation but lo and behold those two girls, Ruva and Yemu had gone to miss Hwambani had and reported the whole thing. They literally blew up the whole issue.

We were called to the office and they stood there accusing me, while the actual victim said nothing. They acted like they were her lawyers and it pissed me off and true to my design I lashed out through laughing at their descriptions of what had happened and what they assumed were my intentions. Then Yemu had the balls to say that I was not even regretting my actions. Who the fuck was she to assume she knew what I felt.

I have never hated girls as much as I hated those two and honestly to this day I still find their names synonymous with a C word that I heard a lot in game of thrones and rhymes with punt. What they did made me a criminal and made the owner of my heart so small and seem like she could not speak up for herself. Damn them.