The conversation that changed fate(4)
"Did you really say yes? Why ... I thought we had a connection, I thought you would be with me ..." Alexander couldn't help but squeeze Anna's hand with great force.
Anna's hand was held by him, his hand was big and manly, as if she was always safe in his hands. Anna enjoyed the warmth of his hand, which warmed her cold heart on this cold winter day. "I had no choice ... that day I thought it was you who had come to propose the marriage to the Mother Superior, so I said yes, not realizing that it was not you, but the ... Count. " Anna said helplessly.
"Then why didn't you say no? You could have told the Count you were mistaken and you didn't want to marry him ..." Alexander nearly yelled.
"Keep your voice down, if the other nuns hear you, you'll be in trouble, don't you know there are rules in the convent that nuns are not allowed to chat with strange men at will." Anna gave Alexandre a little tug and whispered.
"You don't care about me, you're even afraid that people will know I'm here to see you. ..." said Alexander hysterically.
"That's not true, Alexandre. I care for you, I have only you in my heart, but there is no way to go back on what the Abbot has promised the Count, not to mention that ... "Besides, if the Count knew the truth, would he still let you be a gardener? And what will you do with your life after that? Anna paused and finally swallowed the last part of her sentence, since the truth was already there, it was useless to say it, besides he would feel guilty if he knew the truth.
"What's the matter? I never knew you were such a stammerer, Anna. At least you never held anything back from me, but I found out I was wrong. You must be hiding a lot of secrets. ... Are you a glory lover too? Did you marry him only because of his wealth?" Alexandra's tone was one of anger and disbelief.
Silence, silence. Anna did not know how to explain. The tension in the air was growing by the second.
"Say something. ... Anna, does your silence mean you're acquiescing? Do you care more about his wealth than you do about me?" Alexander dug into his roots, hoping to find the truth, and he gripped Anna's hand as hard as he could, as if he wanted to tear her apart and rub her into the marrow of his bones.
"Alexandre, you're hurting me. I have something to tell you, and one day you will understand. You should go back, it's too cold outside. ..." Anna looked at Alexandre and said softly.
"I was born to freeze, I'm not worth anything if I freeze to death, and no one cares about me, and I don't care about your hypocritical concern. ..." said Alexandra, crying in disappointment. He turned and prepared to run away.
Anna saw how unreasonable he was and how he didn't seem interested in talking to her. If you think I'm marrying for glory and wealth, then so be it, perhaps I should consider loving a mature and stable count, not a man like you who doesn't know how to guess. Since you don't care for my attentions, then don't come to me again and we'll never speak to each other again ..." Anna said, closing the window with a bang and throwing herself hard onto the bed.
Tears slipped silently from the corners of her eyes as Anna gripped the sheets, unable to suppress the twitching of her shoulders, and cried heartbreakingly ...
The moonlight was charming, the tears were misty, the night was deep and silent.