Comfort

[Thomas's Pov]

*Knock, knock, knock!*

"H-h-hey... are y-you in there?"

Once again I was knocking on Stella's room, trying my best to get an opportunity to talk to her after all that had happened.

These past few weeks had brought with them nothing but pain and suffering, and although I was also hurting, there was no doubt in my mind that the blue-haired girl was hurting a lot more. Although we saw each other during the days, during class, Stella had still not talked to me even once.

No, Stella hadn't talked to anyone since that day, not more than saying 'yes' or 'no' when asked a question at least. And sadly, because of all that had happened, she wasn't the focus right now.

No, the focus was on the demonkind and the ongoing terrorist attacks, and although we had to all sign an NDA about the matter, I knew that the academy was still focused on the issue that was Zero. Or, James...

Once again I felt my resolve faltering, thinking about the person who had been a guiding life in my so very chaotic life, the one who had somehow seen right through me and still accepted me for who I was.

And now, it all turned out to be a complete lie?

As I turned my back to the door, I had a feeling that I was here just as much for my own sake as I was for Stella's. Because just like her, I was also alone now.

*Creak*

Suddenly, the door that had been closed for so many weeks opened, and despite the fact that Stella didn't meet me at the door, I took it as a sign that I was welcome.

Stepping into the apartment that was identical to everyone else's, I was a bit surprised to see... nothing. There was nothing on the walls and nothing on the desk or table.

No pictures, no flowers, no paintings, just nothing. The one thing I saw was a lonely girl sitting at her kitchen table, her face covered by the long, blue hair attached to her head. The worst part of all of this was that as soon as I saw her, all the things I had planned to say just disappeared from my mind, leaving me completely lost.

Therefore, I just sat down in front of her, as always a bit uncomfortable in the small chairs that accompanied the kitchen tables. And although I tried many times to open my mouth and say something comforting, nothing came out.

After what felt like an eternity with us sitting in silence, her face finally rose, her eyes filled with tears that had still not dried since the day she lost her father.

"Why... why aren't you saying anything...?"

"A-ah! T-t-t-that's b-because... I-I don't k-know what to s-say..."

As always, I felt annoyed by my own incessant stuttering, a condition that had haunted me for as long as I could remember, and one of the things that my father said made me a weakling. One of many things...

Following my poor-quality explanation, Stella's hand rose to cover her face, a face that I imagined to be immensely disappointed by the fact that I wasn't even capable of uttering simple words such as 'I'm sorry' or 'I'm here for you'.

"Pfft... Ha... hahaha..."

Out of nowhere, the poor girl started laughing, and the nervousness I had over her being depressed was quickly replaced with worry that she might have gone mad.

"S-Stella?"

Yet, when her hand lowered down to the table again, I was met with a somewhat bright expression, and though it was hard to say she was happy, she was at the very least able to not cry.

"Thank you, Thomas. I'm sorry that I didn't let you in before, but I needed some time before I was sure about what to do."

For some reason, my heart stirred when she said those words. As if recognizing what she had been thinking about doing while she was stuck alone in her room. A thought that I myself had had so many times, and an action that I had almost committed twice already...

*BAM!*

Unable to control myself, I rose from my seat, and my palms landed heavily on the table.

"No! Don't think about that! Never! No matter what, that's never an option! Trust me!"

"Thomas?"

"I said no! Don't even think about it!"

"What are you talking about?"

Suddenly, my mind caught up to reality, and all that was in front of me was a very confused girl who didn't understand the reason behind my sudden outburst. Taking another second to think about it, I could feel my cheeks getting red in the embarrassment of what I had just done.

I sat down again, my arms flying all over the place as I tried to smooth over what I had just done.

"A-Ah! S-Sorry a-about t-that... I-I-I was just thinking..."

In sync with me trying desperately to explain myself, she just waved her hand dismissively.

"Thomas, stop. Even if it's hard for me to say that I'm alright right now, you don't have to worry about that. Because... that's not what my father would have wanted for me. And... there's another person who has told me the same... every night..."

A combination of resolve and sadness was reflected in the smooth skin of the beautiful, blue-haired girl, successfully showing me that my worries had been for nothing. She wasn't like me in that way... No, she was strong. Stronger than I could ever be. Even if she had to find support in her dreams of her family.

Unlike me who was struggling just as soon as I lost my pillar of support, she had spent her time building her foundation back, making sure to grieve until she could stand up again.

"You're s-strong, S-Stella..."

Caught off guard by my words, her face suddenly flushed a bit.

"W-what?! What are you saying? Aren't you a lot stronger than me? In fact, aren't you all a lot stronger than me..."

Just as quickly as she got embarrassed, her mood turned mellow, as if my words reminded her of something she had already struggled with a lot. Believe it or not, even with my shyness, I didn't believe myself to be that bad at reading people, and it wasn't hard to figure out what she was thinking about.

"You a-aren't weak, Stella. A-And you can s-still become a-a lot stronger.

"He is speaking the truth, Stella. But you must also have realized what you need to do for this to happen."

'Huh?'

Having no idea how or why, there was suddenly another person in the room with us, a person that was now standing behind me, talking to the girl whose face had become as white as snow when seeing the mysterious figure.

"Y-you...?"

Unwanting to turn my head toward the man who gave off a feeling of extreme nothingness, I could only judge by Stella's face who it was. No, I already knew who it was. Because no matter how much I wanted to deny it, a small lingering feeling of comfort was also part of him.

"And you too, Thomas. You can also become a lot stronger. Strong enough not to have to care about the judgmental eyes of others, strong enough to show the world who you really are, and strong enough to make it possible for everyone else who is considered abnormal."

Speaking words filled with enticement, it was difficult not to fall into what I could only assume to be the devil's temptation. But I couldn't let him continue. Not for my own sake, nor for Stella's sake. I couldn't allow him to continue because I didn't want him to sully my memories of the man who had stretched out his hand to me.

So I stood up and turned around, meeting the man that had come to bewitch us head-on.

And there he was. Though his hair was longer than most females, and his height was enough to make him qualified to be a professional model, there was no doubt about the fact that this was the same person that I had spent so much time with before.

Or at least, some part of him was.

If not for the fact that his face was covered by the white mask, I was sure that I would have broken down in tears seeing the friend that I had lost. Yet, I stayed strong. Because I had to.

"What do you want?!"

A cold hand landed on my shoulder, a hand that didn't carry any of the warmth that the son of god has always been spreading around him.

"What do I want? I want you two to grow strong. And then, when you are strong enough, I want you to join me. Because you two are both people who hate this world."

"W-what? I don't..."

"ZERO!"

Interrupting our discussion, a certain girl had suddenly thrown herself forward at the gray-suited man, her face wetting his chest with tears of grief and loneliness.

Rubbing her head with one of his hands covered by black gloves, a cold sensation went through my back as I imagined the expression behind the mask.

"It's okay, Stella. I'm here."

'What the fuck...'

And then, I suddenly knew. I knew that there was no choice for me to make here unless I was willing to abandon the girl that I called my friend.

Or maybe that was just my excuse. An excuse for wanting to return to the side of the man that stretched his hands out to us.